Thot Topics

We require the clues, Steven… Deliver us the clues so we may feed…   Well girls, it’s just ME and YOU and MY DOG BLUE as we traverse the rocky terrain of culture once again. This week, we cover the new Lana track “Arcadia” and wonder if she is seeing everybody she knows as a car— plus give our thoughts on the Blue Banisters era overall. Then, we talk the Troye Sivan cum-back single “Angel Baby,” a...

I'm not a girl... not yet a drag queen...   This week, we convene for an international crisis panel to address the troubling military occupation in the middle east-- and after much consideration, we've decided to TaliSTAN! With that settled, we dive into much more pressing issues affecting underserved populations: the new Lizzo and Cardi B song, Lorde's comeback album Solar Power, and Hasan Piker'...

The planet's getting hotter and hotter, sexy and hotter, let's shut it down! We're joined by the elegant, demure, emotionally complicated and tantalizing G Rock and Crypto Psi of the Rare Candy podcast for a riveting roundtable of global proportions. We discuss Tan France's new baby and whether or not there needs to be a mom; the UN's climate change red alert and being haunted by your litter like...

Oh my God, somebody HELP! Matt Damon is chasing me down the street and calling me a fucking FAGGOT! Welcome back to our Barbie Dream House of cosmic justice to all little thotties and recent converts. We welcome you with open, warm, and supple bosom to take a look back at all things gay-as-in-stupid online this week. We're sorry we took a little break, but we explain our brief sabbatical in extens...

You know you love us... XOXO, The Thot Topics Girls... Peppa who? Pig girl. We're back with a vengeance to review the dreaded Gossip Girl reboot, and it's a boot indeed. We answer all the burning questions: Can you make a good TV drama that revolves around iPhones? Is this literally just The Shade Room? Is it actually better to cast horny teens that are actually teens? ALL is revealed. Plus, we il...

On the first day, God fucked him all night. On the second day, God fucked him all day. On the third day, God fucked him on sight. On the fourth day, God fucked him all ways. We come to you in radical faith to spread His word. Amen, baby. The Thot Topics e-lounge was starting to collect dust so we decided to shake out the curtains and let in the LIGHT, better known as beloved Twitter gay and friend...

Oh fuck!! I just spilled genderfluid all over the IKEA loveseat! Sure would be a shame if someone were to... soak it up... with THEIR big ass... We took a little break, but now it's back to us. The docket is long. The docket is thick. The docket will not be important in three days. GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT. After a riveting discussion of our teenage employment histories, we launch into the nitty-grit...

You better axe somebody! (That somebody being us!)   We welcome our precious, misguided and predominantly gay male listeners onto the back porch for an in-depth therapy session for the second THOTLINE episode. After a riveting conversation about various fast sandwich chains, we launch into our listener's quandaries. We explore our listener base's psyche with an emphasis on CUNT: CARING for the bro...

What's black and brown and intersex all over? Wait, I think I fucked that up...   In one of the sweatiest episodes of all time, the girls return after a weeklong sabbatical to tackle this year's truly monstrous early pride-month discourse while eating a military ready-to-eat meal. We take on the NEW new pride flag piece by r-worded piece, from the new intersex circle, to the trans colors, to the b...

CALLING ALL PSYCHOS!! The Thot Topics THOTLINE is officially open once again!! We need more of your burning love and sex questions, your career dilemmas, your complex psychodramas, and your bad takes by phone and by email to be addressed on an upcoming episode. Call in at (872) 239-6261 or email us at ThotTopicsPod@gmail.com .   Welcome to the Thot Topics Gender Terrorism and Trauma Bonding Hour....

Calling all white gays! Now is the time to make your voice HEARD! Take your ass out and paint #BLM on it! Draw a hammer and sickle on your abs! Drop a Gofundme link under a picture of you wearing nothing but a loincloth! Rise UP and do what must be done to save America! The girls are joined in the Thot Topics plus-size creators headquarters by the one and only It Gay on Twitter, TikTok and beyond,...

It's just the girls once more and this time, it's fucking mask OFF! It was a busy week for music so we run (it's really more of a brisk jog) down the list of the most hyped releases of the week with no sports bra on. (Look out, you're in the splash zone!) We REDUCE Nicki Minaj's "Fractions," LIGHT UP Katy Perry's Pokemon movie theme "Electric," HUMILIATE Olivia Rodrigo, and say some nice things ab...

BWET? You don't have to ask us twice!!!   Three teenage Veronas (the girls AND returning guest, our favorite diva Zach from I'm So Popular pod!) do what historians, community leaders, music journalists, and the international courts weren't brave enough to do: we catalogue the full oral history of Azealia Banks controversies, cultural flashpoints, and iconic showdowns. From Elon and Grimes, to Krea...

Hey! (Hey!) What are you up to? (Mm, not much.) So I heard of this place, and it sounds like a dream... LETS FUCKING GO!!!!! The dolls are joined in the Jacuzzi of the Spirit by the inimitable pop starlet MISS MADELINE for an in-depth discush of all things bubblegum-flavored, champagne-soaked, and bikini-clad. It's truly a girls' chat for the books. After getting our gay little fangirling out of t...

No matter black, white, beige, chola, or orient, you are welcome at Thot Topics! The girls are joined LIVE in the stu' with one of our favorite Chicago via NYC sisters Frank AKA @chlumbucket AKA Prolapsed Catholic! In an episode that can only be described as powerful and intentional female trauma-bonding, the ladies confront their demons, expunge their spiritual debts, and get them titties out onc...

{Meghan Trainor voice} If, I was you, I'd wanna get MeToo'd ♫   These really IS bloody shoes! In an episode full of satanic panic, human blood, and the uniquely breathable Calvin Klein One boxer briefs, we open our third eye (not that one, sicko!) to take a closer look at Lil Nasferatu Prince of Darkness's spicy new video for "Montero" and deduce who winds up with egg on their face: God, the devil...

LIVE from the Men in Women's Business Conference, it's Thot Topics baby! For the first time in a long while, it's just the girls coming together over some pretzel chips and purple Gatorade to get into the hottest issues of the week. Both of our pets got sick this week so we recount the TAIL in excruciating detail and touch base, yknow, as sisters. Not much time is wasted before we unpack Lil Mama'...

Just snorted a pill, feelin' goooood! The gals are joined by none other than singer, rapper, producer, label owner, former e-girl and current it-girl KITTY for a once-in-a-generation girls' chat. Careers are documented, names are NAMED with no hesitation, Diet Dr. Pepper is absolutely slammed and NOTHING is off the table. Point blank, babe. First, we catalog Kitty's discography in excruciating det...

Girls... I'm not really even sure what to say about this one... We WERE joined by the iconic Jordan AKA @goodboygremlin on Twitter for the bitchfest of a lifetime regarding Nick being bullied for being PrEPphobic-- but we forgot to press record and literally flapped our nasty little gums for AN HOUR before realizing that we were not recording anything whatsoever.  But God guides our hands when we...

In this house, we believe: Jack Lives Matter, Lena Dunham rights are human rights, Azealia Banks is Jewish, science is gay, love is pussy, and kindness is cunt. And like it or not, house rules are in FULL effect. Run and tell that! The divas are joined by Jack from The Perfume Nationalist for a divalicious roundtable on all things fly, hot, and sexy. When did it become unremarkable to hear Lady Ga...

According to the Chinese, it's officially the year of the AUX, and baby we're playing motherfuckin' Fergie! Hop in our low-riding Hyundai of truth, purity, and justice and come with us on the ride of a lifetime.  In an even sexier episode than usual, we take TikTok gender theorists to task over women's right to gay porn. Then, we discuss the second cumming of Sherry Pie on the Tamron Hall show, an...

In a truly Dorian Electrifying double-wide episode, the girls are joined by the one and only motherfucking JACKIE!!! ( @jackies_backie ) In a star-crossed meeting of the minds, extremely powerful discourse is born almost immediately: Does dating a member of the Rihanna navy make you a military wife? What is the name of the secretary from Monsters Inc? HAVE YOU CHECKED THE CHILDREN?... Then, it's d...

In the second part of the crossover event that critics are calling "spiritually troubling" and "darksided," the divas open their hearts to none other than John and Clarke from Group Project podcast! Before you can cross this point, you are contractually obligated to listen to part one on their show wherever high-quality Internet radio is found

Can you believe we're one year old!?! Only seventeen more years, boys. They just keep getting younger, huh? For our anniversary episode, we make the holy pilgrimage to the Thot Topics Mecca: IKEA. We follow the winding paths in search of truth, liberty, justice, and most importantly: a freakin' bargain! Advance warning that we are definitely "queering" audio quality on this one. It's a complex exp...

Shake some ass you sexy juicy faggots! The Thot Topics WETland safari is about to embark on the expedition of a lifetime. Cats and cannibals and chemtrails: oh me, oh my! First, the girls give their take on the "events" that "unfolded" at the Capitol. Spoiler alert: it's literally the most salient analysis you will ever hear on the situation. More importantly, we decide once and for all whether or...