This Is Unusable

"Welcome to another episode of This Is Unusable," he said. "You have no morals." Ok he didn't say that last part. Racist ASMR, Reddit, Patton Oswalt, Women vs. Females, balls, this episode has it all. Balls balls balls. 0:00 - Intro, ASMR, screaming vs. singing 2:57 - Autistic vs Artistic 3:52- RACIST ASMR 4:50 - Trump 7:08 - Hats and Ben’s bald stupid head head 8:30 - Patton Oswalt 9:46 - Reddit...

This is a great episode. Highlights: - Nacho Week in Portland - Coors: Cold as the Rockies BS "cold" advertisement - A dumb customer asking the difference between tortilla and potato chips - Ben's colonoscopy story and the insane shits he had to take - Disclosure Day and its ridiculous plot - The Dead Housewives of Beverly Hills - Asexuality Other subjects: - Pulled Pork - Monty Python - The Fallo...

Welcome to an actually funny episode of this thing! Ben walked into the Guitar Center on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles and embarrassed himself immediately. We also talk about New Jersey, seeing extended family, anxiety, Trump, Jackass, an ad for protectjews.org, and we confuse the story of The Odyssey with the story of Oedipus Rex. Whatever. It's all Greek to me.

Holy shit! It's another episode of a podcast! Nobody has ever made one of those before! WOW I CANNOT BELIEVE WE DID THIS. WE MADE AN EPISODE OF A THING. I've included timestamps this time so you can click through it before you drop it altogether to go watch reaction content. Go ahead and fill your brain to the brim with a more successful YouTuber's garbage as opposed to ours. 0:14 intro 0:27 trash...

Ben's brain is once again in the grips of insomnia and no sentence he utters is safe from trailing off into absolutely nothing. Nonetheless, we press on. In this episode, I don't remember what we talk about. My mind is shattered. Yeah, Ben is the one who writes these descriptions. The jig is up. I *think* we discuss: - Wikipedia - Jeffrey Epstein (briefly) - the disaster in Garden Grove, CA - the...

Welcome to another episode of whatever this is. We have officially transcended. Or something. It's in the title and it doesn't matter. This is a doozy of an episode, and by "doozy" I mean "episode". So it's an episode of an episode. Words are a helluva thing, aren't they? Sometimes they mean so much. Other times they mean absolutely nothing at all. We generally prefer the latter. In this episode w...

Ben has had insomnia for the better part of 4 months and is quickly losing his mind. Other things we discuss: the Wilhelm scream, the Bechtel test, insomnia, allergies, insomnia, more insomnia, Ben's insane noisy neighbor, Reese’s Pieces, reddit streaks, underwear streaks, simple solutions to simple problems, woody woodpecker, Netflix, and The Odyssey by Christopher Nolan. #comedy #podcast #insomn...

Ben already totally forgot about what went down at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Tyler had to remind him. That's where we are with the news these days. Topics discussed: - Ben's fake vocal warmup routine - Diarrhea, constipation, and constipated diarrhea. - "Ballroom Blitz" - CT Scans - Fat people - Genetically modified organisms - Eugenics - The White House Correspondents' D...

Unbeknownst to most, the Pope is actually made up for a bunch of cats stacked on top of each other. We discuss Latin, things Ben enjoys, the Catholic Church, Jesus, how to say "cat" in Greek, the Portland Trailblazers, Fox News, the burning down of the White House in 1812, the band Oasis, yarmulkes, the story of Job, Sodom and Gomorrah, the movies "Amour" and "Funny Games" by Michael Haneke, the A...

'Twas the month before May, And all through each day, Ben's nose was running: A fever of hay. Ben has some major allergy problem in this episode. Also there are some dick jokes. We talk about Seattle's cream cheese problem, Ben's neighbors, the Straight of Hormuz, a Tommy Wiseau film Tyler saw, Bosley hair restoration, unending allergies, more allergies, lots of allergies, and Tyler's newfound uri...

I don't even know what to tell you. This is the absolute best episode we've made since the last one. I know I always say that, but I mean it this time. It's literally true. We talk about hats, Kanye, Iran, Passover, the Bible and much more.

Welcome to an actually edited episode of This Is Unusable. The last one wasn't edited. No apologies. In this one, we talk about eugenics, Ben's colonoscopy, and the incredibly fat airline pilot Ben had on his flight from Toronto. The guy was just incredibly fat.

We recorded this episode yesterday and Ben had no time to edit any of it. Ben talks about prepping for his (early) colonoscopy. Tyler talks about seeing Stormy Daniels. Ben now has to stop writing this and run to the toilet.

Ben talks about his missing urine test and discusses a stupid passage he read from a book on insomnia. Tyler makes strange faces that end up being funnier than anything Ben chose to talk about.

In A.D. 2026 war with Iran was beginning. Captain: What happen? Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb. All your oil are belong to us. We talk about Iran. Also Ben Affleck spilling things. 00:14 Do ants have dicks? 01:32 War with Iran 02:14 Small choices have big consequences 04:09 Why we attacked Iran 06:48 Echoes of Vietnam 08:27 The 1950s anticipated the current conflict 09:44 Ee-rahn vs Eye-Ran...

Ben gives a heartfelt apology. He also goes on an extended rant about pissing into a jug for a 24 hour urine ANALysis. All of this and more on another episode of the very successful and widely renowned podcast "This Is Unusable". 0:00 Don’t be a burro; have a churro 2:36 Pitching Chick-Fil-A to a coked-up advertising executive 3:53 Churro continued 5:22 Chaos in Puerto Vallarta 6:24 Canadian hocke...

Back to just 2 of us. Thank you, Robert, for your service in the last 2 episodes. We talk about Ben's egg head, Trump going to heaven, the C word, the Super Bowl, a cookie-based game that's fun for the whole family, and a certain Namibian politician with a very unusual name. 0:00 Welcome to the clown zone 1:48 Carpet diem 2:33 Ben has an egg-shaped head 3:43 Aunty Donna 5:20 C*nts 7:21 Donald Trum...

Part 2 of our 2 part series with our very funny guest, Robert. We mostly talk about the Epstein files, AIDS, and the "Avatar" movies, but not necessarily in that order! 0:00 previously on “This is Unusable” 0:55 whales in "Avatar: The Way of Water" 2:35 Whale goop making grandma live forever sounds like a nightmare 3:45 Logan’s Run 4:29 70s vs 80s movies - big hair 5:27 AIDS and The 1980s 6:19 AID...

This is part 1 of a 2 part series. For the first time on This Is Unusable, we have a guest! His name is Robert and he's hilarious. We talk about Jeffrey Epstein, milk pasteurization being too woke, tuba thefts, anime, Dave Matthews band, the Avatar movies and bunch of other random stuff. Tune in next week for Part 2 of The Oopstein Files, in which we delve even further into the release of the Epst...

This is surely the greatest episode we've ever made since the last one. We discuss sleep problems, the real meaning of CPAP, paintings, a trip to the DMV, and most importantly, how Grok's seemingly deeply ingrained misogyny will eventually send a rocket to Mars. Timestamps: 0:00 “Your mom’s a microphone.” 1:08 Ben is a total child 2:00 What CPAP actually stands for 3:08 stand-up comedy on an airpl...

Well if it ain't the best damn episode since our last one! I try to get us to talk about the time we were in marching band together, but we take plenty of detours on the way there, as you can see from these deluxe timestamps: 0:00 The Great American Experiment 2:28 OJ Simpson’s glove 4:00 Marching band false start 5:15 Co-HAIR-ent-ing 6:00 The RING light curse 6:51 Not talking about Minneapolis 7:...

Venezuelan oil. Hair oil. Baby oil. Greenland being made into a giant theme park. "Wrap" battles. The City of St. Louis. All of this (and more) on another episode of This Is Unusable.

Happy new year! This is the best episode we've uploaded since 2025! Which means it's our first episode of 2026. We talk about The Prince of Persia, bidets, homelessness in Portland, World War 2, modern art, reggaeton, and much, much more! #comedy #podcast #reggaeton

The best episode since our last episode. It's the end of the year. Tyler dressed up. Ben did not. Tyler had a bottle of apple cider ready on hand. Ben had a salt shaker. And thus we toasted the greatest year ever for our podcast. We talked about what would make next year worst, what might improve things going forward, and a whole lot of other random crap. #podcast #comedy #newyear

Wow! It's the best episode since our last episode! Merry Christmas! We talk about the Grinch, Jesus, the Epstein files, how awful A.I. is, and how you ultimately need to embrace your A.I. overlords. Just embrace it, you idiot. Just do it. Just embrace it. Embrace artificial intelligence so that it can then make you artificially intelligent. Just do it. Do it. Idiot.