The Resilient Kid

Why can a child manage their phonics on Tuesday but not on Monday morning? Following World Mental Health Day, psychotherapist and neurodiversity practitioner Ashley Costello takes educators inside the developing brain. She explains why a stressed child can't learn, what "flipping your lid" really means, and how a predictable routine can keep more children in their learning zone. This six-part seri...

Why are so many children arriving at school already in survival mode, and what can educators actually do about it? In the first episode of The Resilient Classroom , psychotherapist and neurodiversity practitioner Ashley Costello shares the story of the lion in the attic, looks at how childhood has changed, and introduces GROW : a simple, honest framework for turning mistakes into the place where r...

"The slow way back is generally the fast way home." — Ashley Costello WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT In this series finale, psychotherapist Ashley Costello brings everything together into a practical, evidence-based framework for building a successful school return. Moving away from quick fixes, Ashley details the UK "graduated approach" (Assess, Plan, Do, Review), the science of g...

The Resilient Kid Podcast Season 12: The Anxiety Behind the Absence — Episode 3 of 4: The Ones Who Stop Showing Up "The loudest sign of school avoidance is often silence... With a teen, the bedroom door stays shut." — Ashley Costello WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT Focusing on secondary students and teenagers, this episode explores how anxiety and school avoidance manifest in older pupils. Us...

"The goal is not to eliminate every moment of distress... The goal is to build patiently, predictably, the lived evidence that they can be separated and still survive, that they can do hard things." — Ashley Costello WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT Focusing on primary-aged children (Reception to Year 6), this episode explores how anxiety and emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) manifest...

WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT For many families, the school gate is a battlefield. Whether it's a child refusing to undo their seatbelt, Sunday night stomach aches, or a teen who won't leave their room, emotionally-based school avoidance (EBSA) is a growing crisis. In this episode, psychotherapist Ashley Costello explains the neurological mechanisms of avoidance, how reassurance can feed anxiety, and...

Let's Actually Talk About Sex The Resilient Kid Podcast | Season 11, Episode 10 "Your body belongs to you. Your desire is not shameful. Healthy sex is mutual, communicative, and good for everyone involved." WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT The final and most direct episode of Season 11. For young people aged 16+, we talk honestly about what sex is, healthy sex, pornography, contraception, STIs, readines...

Consent, Pressure & Staying Safe Online “Consent is not the absence of a no. It is the presence of a yes.” This episode is for young people aged 13 and over. It talks honestly and directly about consent, relationships, pressure, online safety, intimate image sharing and sextortion. It is designed to help young people recognise what a genuine yes looks like, what pressure can sound like, what t...

This episode is spoken directly to girls aged 10–13 in language that treats them like the capable, curious, real people they are. It explores female puberty honestly and without embarrassment, covering breast development, body hair, vaginal discharge, periods in detail, the correct names for female anatomy including the vulva and clitoris, masturbation and self-exploration, emotional changes, body...

"What is happening to you is normal. All of it." WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT This episode is for boys aged 10–13, spoken directly to them in honest, age-appropriate language. We talk about puberty, what is happening to the body, why it happens, and the things many boys are never warned about, including erections, wet dreams, masturbation, emotions, body changes and what to expect as they grow up. P...

```html “How do I give them something I never had?” WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT This is the episode many parents have been both waiting for and quietly dreading. We follow Gemma, mum to a sixteen-year-old son and a thirteen-year-old daughter, who received almost no meaningful sex education herself. She was taught the mechanics of reproduction, but not what sex feels like, what healthy sex looks lik...

"By the time we get to the teenage conversation, consent should already be a language a young person has been speaking for a decade." WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT Consent is not a teenage conversation. It begins in childhood, in the moment a child does not want a hug and a trusted adult says: "You don't have to." In this episode, we follow two families. Sarah and Daniel reali...

"Make it sound easy." — James, age 8 WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT This week Ashley is joined by special guests Malou, founder of Period Reality, and her eight-year-old daughter James, co-author of The Woo Cycle . Together they explore how simple, honest conversations can help children understand periods without fear or shame. James shares the beautiful metaphor that inspired the book: "The womb make...

"She'll know. She'll just know." WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT This episode is for every parent raising a girl, especially those who were never given the full picture themselves. We follow Diane, a mum who grew up in a home where periods were called “being poorly”, and Rob, a dad who wants to be someone his daughter can talk to but worries he does not know enough. He does. And so do you. We cover fem...

"He is going to remember that you showed up." WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT This episode is a practical guide for parents who want to talk to boys about puberty, bodies and growing up, but are not sure where to begin. We follow two families: Mark, a dad who got through his own puberty in silence and wants something different for his son Theo; and Priya, a single mum raising her son Jude, wo...

"The silence is never neutral. It always teaches something. The question is only what." WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT Welcome to Season 11 of The Resilient Kid Podcast — The Talk . This season is dedicated to the conversations many parents dread, but many children desperately need: puberty, periods, consent, bodies, relationships and sex. In this first episode, we look at why so many grown-ups avoid...

I Don't Even Know What I'm Feeling Half the Time. How Am I Supposed to Help Him Know What He's Feeling? When you were a child — when you were scared, sad, overwhelmed or angry — what happened? Not what should have happened. What actually happened. For some people, someone came. Someone sat with them, helped them make sense of what they were feeling and showed them that emotions could b...

I Think This Is Me. I Think I Gave This To Them. When your child is anxious — when the stomach aches appear on Monday mornings, when worries multiply overnight, when the school gate becomes a battleground — where do you look for the reason? Most of us look outward. School. Friends. Social media. The state of the world. But sometimes, and I say this with every ounce of compassion, anxiety can be cl...

Ashley is joined by Neil Lewis (The Empathy Coach) and Becky Percival (Rebecca Percival Coaching), the co-founders of the Warrington Wellbeing Festival, for a conversation about community wellbeing, future-proofing our children, and creating spaces where families feel supported. Now in its fourth year, the festival has grown into a thriving community event, and this year The Resilient Kid team wil...

"Trust is not given. It is earned. Slowly, quietly, in the accumulation of ordinary moments." In all the years I’ve been doing this work — sitting with young people and their families, walking into schools, being in the rooms where the real conversations happen — one thing comes up more than any technique, model or framework. People heal when they feel safe enough to be honest. And they...

"The small things are not the consolation prize when the big things aren't available. The small things are the thing." It's Mental Health Week, and this episode is not going to tell you to do more. It is not going to give you a seventeen-step programme or add to the already very long list of things you feel like you should be doing and aren't quite managing. Because the scien...

"No one's ever actually said that to me before." People heal when they feel safe enough to be honest. And they feel safe enough to be honest when someone has shown them — consistently, over time — that they are not going anywhere. At The Resilient Kid, everything we do comes back to two things: meeting young people where they are, and wrapping around them 360 degrees. Because a young person doesn’...

"You made this place look like somewhere worth being." Can I ask you something personal? When did you first feel like you truly belonged somewhere? Not tolerated. Not managed. Not just allowed to exist in the room. But wanted. Expected. Like the space would feel different if you weren’t there. For some of you, that feeling came early — a family dinner table, a school team, a bedroom that...

What This Episode Is About Have you ever had a teacher who truly saw you — not your grades, not your reputation, not your behaviour record, but you? In this episode, we tell the story of Jamie — a child labelled, managed, and quietly written off — and the teacher who refused to go along with the script. Ms. Okafor didn't have a magic wand. She had something more powerful: curiosity, consistenc...

This season, we’re exploring one powerful question: Who made a difference in your life? In this heartfelt episode, Ashley sits down with Sarah Hughes , co-organiser of Womanifest , mum of four, and business owner, to explore the impact of one person who changed everything for her. From self-doubt and feeling stuck… to building a business, stepping into leadership, and helping run a transformationa...