The Pesto Pod

Picture this… the year is 2011, you just ate an Uncrustable, and you’re about to watch the hype video for the event of the year: THE SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR. Will you read the newest I Survived book, reread Pinkalicious for the 80th time, or spend all your money on scented glitter gel pens? Your destiny is in your hands. 0:00 Intro 2:11 My ACOTAR thoughts 9:54 The Scholastic Book Fair 13:59 I Survive...

Lock in, team. Salmon spend their whole lives swimming upstream just to spawn and die (don’t we all). These slippery little dudes travel thousands of miles, turn into zombies, and feed entire ecosystems, all so Phil Collins could write the music for one of the most underrated Disney films of all time. 0:00 Intro 0:20 I hate Donald Trump 3:13 Brother Bear 13:12 Inuit culture 15:18 The salmon life c...

What better way to start off history class than with the ancient Minoans, one of the oldest and arguably sexiest civilizations in human history! These MFs built ludicrously large palaces, had a mysterious hidden language, served as the basis for the myth of the Minotaur, and worshiped a sexy chubby snake goddess with huge boobs. As they should. 0:00 VOTE 0:47 Intro 2:27 Mesopotamians 4:58 Ancient...

PROFESSOR PESTO IS BACK IN OFFICE! Sorry I’ve been on hiatus ya’ll… I had tummy issues and then my sister got married and then I went to Alaska and also Greece oops. But don’t worry cuz you’re gonna hear alllll about it! Thanks for bearing with me and get ready to have education injected into your cranium with the new and improved Pesto Pod! (0:00) Intro (0:53) Welcome back! (6:26) Esophagus probz...

Let's take it back to when your fifth grade undiagnosed arse was sneaking on to the family computer to google "Titanic sinking real footage." Ladies and gents, we're kicking off this rebrand with one of the sexiest historical hyperfixations known to man, the sinking of the Titanic. Get ready to be flooded (no pun intended) with facts and drawn like one of your French girls.

Cue Forever by Chris Brown because this episode is all about the trend that had 2009 culture in a chokehold, the flash mob! We’re joined by SNL writer and comedy queen Vannessa Jackson to talk about everything from the societal impact of Glee to the cringiest marriage proposals of all time. You’ll also hear us chat about the SNL musical guest curse, Vannessa’s secret love of espionage, and our mut...

IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING! This week on the pod, we’re welcoming my twin flame and the only person in the world who matches my extraordinary vernacular, Connor Willey! We’ll be discussing all things from sand flea infestation to rejected fist bumps, from the (fake) concept of drowning to dolphin kinks. We may just look like a little girl and an even littler boy who love the great outdoors, but inside...

No hilarious woman is complete without her even funnier GBF with great hair! Everyone please give a warm welcome to my BFF and the son my parents never had, Joseph! Joseph and I grew up four houses down from each other, went to the same children’s drama camp, and spent our childhood riding our custom Schwinn bikes and making our Littlest Pet Shops have to go through teenage pregnancies. Come with...

Gimme more… pesto please! This week, we’re welcoming comedian Jilberto Soto to talk about his one true love and one of the ultimate pop culture icons to ever exist, Britney Spears! From 7/11 cups to audio books, this guy knows his Britney and he has a lot to teach my Gen Z ass. You’ll also hear about my upcoming betta fish, Jilberto’s hometown of Yakima (iCarly fans rise up), and some of the other...

Grab your rosaries and get ready to Pan this Vida because this week is different! Join me and one of my childhood besties Spags as we dive into the memories and miseries that were our all-girls Catholic high school. From woke nuns to math teachers from hell to fake Confederate towns, we certainly had our ups and downs while donning our plaid skirts. If you went to high school with us, you might ge...

Get ready to snort some pixie dust cuz we’re talking Disney today! Joining us this week is the TheatreTok queen you probably know as “Ursula girl,” Molly Kavanaugh! We’re discussing everything from Disney deaths to princess parties to high school theatre horror stories, and (big surprise) you’ll catch us singing some of our favorite Disney bops. Apparently cockroaches also love Disney and are eage...

Gather around, coven! This week, we’re joined by theatre diva, fellow Rochester native, and practitioner of witchcraft and wizardry, Mia Cherise Hall! Aside from having an angelic voice and immaculate handwriting, Mia is also well-versed in all things spells, crystals, and period blood! So come join us as we talk about organized religion, the magic of cooking, and getting your first Pap smear. Bro...

585 REPRESENT!! This week on The Pesto Pod, we’re welcoming thrifty TikTok fashionista and fellow Rochester NY native, Emma DiMarco! Join us as we talk about all things Rochester, including the Buffalo Bills, garbage plates, and losing your virginity in the Pittsford library parking lot. You’ll also hear all about Emma’s vintage shop, Julia’s concussion, and a princess named Willie Nelson. Grab a...

Just two girls who go together like spades and sparrows! This week we welcome Bachelor Nation's golden girl, Dancing with the Stars winner, and founder of her very own wine brand, the iconic Kaitlyn Bristowe! We'll talk all things red, white, and rosé, as well as a bit about dating icks, lip flips, and some inside tea about reality TV!! It's recommended you enjoy this episode with a gl...

New studio! Same old procrastination! Welcome back to The Pesto Pod, where we talk about our niche obsessions with your favorite guests. Except today is different because it's just me and I'm simply recapping my eventful New Year's Eve and January. From scrumptious Buffalo Bills players to peeing my pants to fulfilling my inner theatre kid dreams, here's everything I've been up...

Tis the damn season! This holiday season, we’re welcoming the hilarious Grace O’Malley to talk all things holly and jolly. No matter what you celebrate, there’s always time to confront your conservative uncle! Join us if you want to hear about Julia almost getting suspended because of a high school spanish teacher, Grace’s fear of weatherman Al Roker, and some absolutely stellar Jim Carrey Grinch...

!!! AUDIO QUALITY WARNING (technology got the best of me once again) !!! Pack your bags ladies and gents! Today we welcome Internet traveler extraordinaire Marissa Meizz on the pod to talk about all things backpacking, solo travel, and the great continent of Europa! Join us to hear about Julia’s harrowing AirBnB experience, Marissa’s tendency to assist shoplifters, and how to curate the perfect tr...

Years of going to zoo camp and watching David Attenborough have finally paid off! This week, we took The Pesto Pod on the road to the Mystic Aquarium in Mystic, Connecticut where the lovely and knowledgable Claire taught us all about frogs, lizards, and kids with grubby little hands. We were even lucky enough to be joined by Pepper, the prehensile-tailed skink and all her scaly sassiness! Learn al...

This week, we're giving a warm welcome to the king of FilmTok and a certified ATLA fan, Reece Feldman! Join us as we talk the beauty, majesty, and sexual undertones of animation... I mean, have you ever seen Mrs. Incredible's dumpy? Keep watching if you want to hear about Reece's recent encounter with a sticky subway child, Julia fangirling over the woman who voices Karen in Spongebob,...

PASS THE CRANBERRY SAUCE! Today we're giving thanks with funny lady and my former employer, Amanda Lynn Baez!! Join us to talk all things turkey, Puerto Rican, and Black Friday. Plus you might be lucky enough to hear us talk about dog poop and colonialism! Thank you to Amanda for stopping by and sorry I was so bad at my job lol.

Nothings beats the feeling of taking a big gulp of a 1 liter bottle of Polar ruby grapefruit sparkling water and no one knows that better than Jake Cornell! Join us as we recount our ultrasound trauma, discuss the intricate nuances of iced coffee, and honor the lore of the original Four Loko. Grab the beverage of your choice and crack it open for this thirst-quenching episode.

Death! It's inevitable! Today we're joined by the hilarious Vin Ward to talk about the afterlife, near-death experiences, and all things grim and depressing. If you want to hear us talk about Vin almost dying at a flamingo parade, the dangerous craft of subway surfing, and whether or not Jesus is a bottom, this is the episode for you! DEATH!!!

Spooky season is upon us! Today we're joined by hilarious Internet comedian and musical theatre queen Molly Russo to talk about the holiday that has gripped college-aged girls for centuries: Halloween! We'll also chat about cruise ships, horror movies, and the feminine urge to be Jorgan von Strangle. P.S. If you're the waiter who Molly caught two-timing in a coffee shop... we're co...

Welcome to the most ~relaxing~ episode of The Pesto Pod yet! Today we welcome Hannah from Chili B ASMR to the pod to talk all things tingles!! You'll also hear all about Hannah's recent wedding, our childhood ASMR triggers, and Julia's unfortunate exchange with Sabrina Carpenter. Let the tingles begin!

She may not know the difference between a dishwasher and a washing machine, but she's an Internet diva and author extraordinaire... it's Carrie Berk everybody!! She's here to talk about her new book while we dive into online dating, being a born and raised New Yorker, and drinking banana juice with Sarah Jessica Parker. You don't want to miss the two of us and special guest Legend...