The Pesto Pod

I turned 24 this week and NO Gemini slander will be tolerated here! More importantly, my hidden talent is impressions from the cinematic masterpieces that were Barbie movies circa 2004. Rapunzel, Swan Lake, Princess and the Pauper??? GOATED. Someone hire me to be a voice actor pls.

In case you couldn't tell, my life peaked in 2013 when I won the NY State Odyssey of the Mind championship dressed as a fish made of dryer sheets. As it should have.

Who's buried in Grant's Tomb? NO ONE YOU IDIOT! My weekend consisted of two things: assorted savory finger sandwiches and Union General Ulysses S. Grant. Enjoy.

Ya'll sorry about this poopy audio once again... technology and I are enemies. BUT please join me as I recount my harrowing week of art, sex, and marine mammals! Like and share this podcast if you agree that children should be banned from aquariums.

Am I a man... or am I a muppet? In light of a certain a-hole defunding PBS, let's take a little walk down memory lane and reminisce about the wonderful world of Jim Henson and if Fraggle Rock was just a fever dream I had.

I'm in my witchcraft and wizardry era and I'm not sorry about it. Let's discuss how Minerva McGonagall is a girly pop, how I don't understand time travel, and what my Hogwarts house is! As a wise man once said, "Yer a wizard, Harry."

Will you go to prom with me? (Circle yes or no) Sorry I've been MIA ya'll but now that I'm back, let's talk about my Catholic school prom, my psycho date, and the harrowing era of Sherri Hill. ALSO: PESTO POD POSTINGS WILL BE MOVED TO WEDNESDAYS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

The great and powerful LaKenzo and her love of dandelion crayons has consumed me to no end and now I am preoccupied with collecting various knick knacks and bric a brac. Other than that, this week consisted of 70s music and a whole lot of motion sickness.

The Catholic Church is an institution of power run by white men so obviously it's CORRUPT! Have you ever wanted to be yapped at about Vatican conspiracy theories, The Da Vinci Code, or my harrowing encounters with lesbian nuns? Great news for you!

Guys I don't understand art. If I throw a jar of pesto at a canvas and say it represents my inner turmoil, does that mean it'll be worth $50 million? Anyway, I had a great time in the Windy City, including a sold out show, a wicked hangover, and remaking Ferris Bueller scenes.

DUN DUN. Sorry I'm a day late ya'll, I had an all-night lettuce-induced panic attack followed by catching a glimpse of the most beautiful and perfect woman to ever exist. But please enjoy me losing my mind and yapping about the greatest show in the history of sexy cop shows.

HAPPY ST PADDY’S DAY LADS AND LASSES! Let’s reminisce on when I absolutely dominated the eight-year-old Irish dance community and also when I slept on the floor of the Shannon airport. Here’s to shepherds’ pies, celtic music, and fresh pints of Guinness! SLAINTE!!!!

Nothing I love more than being stuck on the 1 train underground in a smelly box with no service for 20 minutes! But if we didn’t have the New York City Subway system, the rats would have nowhere to live and, more importantly, I would have no way of getting to my favorite hot dog stand. CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADEEEE OFFFF BTW if you're from Chicago you should get tickets to my show o...

Some important lessons to take away from this week: everyone in The Great Gatsby is bad, you don't have to do drugs at a club if you don't want to, Survivor is 99% social game, and dogs are better than kids. I have spoken.

Despite sobbing over being an oink oink piggy at a boxing gym with a bunch of models, I had the best week! Shoutout to: my wonderful friends and fam, everyone who came to the Pesto and Goat Cheese first ever live show, Connor and all our guests comics, and, of course, Aunt Kathy.

I'm gonna show this episode to my therapist Kelly. Valentine's Day sucks but also I'm trying to love myself?!? Also that anglerfish has me questioning the whole meaning of life.

Aur naur Cleor! This is episode is about mermaids! It's only fitting that I just rewatched a monumental piece of television gold about three Australian girls with tails and magic powers. Also this week I cried at Pilates and also killed Voldemort.

I'm just a girl who wants to play Wii. Like I just want to experience the unimaginable thrill of getting a bullet power-up on Rainbow Road and zooming from 12th place to 1st. Is that too much to ask?

PESTO AND GOAT CHEESE LIVE IN NYC FEB 21ST! TICKETS IN INSTAGRAM BIO! This weekend I went to Chicago so naturally I flicked the bean, geeked out at an aquarium, and had a rather unfortunate incident with a bouncy ball. Now no one talk to me because I'm in mourning over Buffalo.

This weekend was a doozy, team. It appears I'm employed again but man I was STRESSING. I laid in bed reflecting on my traumatic OBGYN career, my acting skills, and my mental dependency on the Buffalo Bills. The only thing that saved me was Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, naturally.

HAPPY 2025! GO TO INSTA FOR INFO ON UPCOMING STAND UP SHOW WITH CONNOR!!! Make sure you’re following on Insta and subscribed on YouTube cuz girly might be out of a job next week! All that being said, let’s recap the holidays, manifest for the new year, and pray my grandma doesn’t see this episode. GO BILLS.

Just because sweet Willow girl got adopted doesn't mean I don’t have that dawg in me. Is the dawg in me a miniature long-haired dachshund wearing a sweater? Mind your business. Let’s talk DOGS! 0:00 Intro 0:23 Willow got adopted! 6:33 Weird park people 11:45 Old Man Barney 18:12 Rover adventures 26:20 Dog facts 28:56 Storytime 36:02 Any questions? 38:46 Outro

First and foremost, PLEASE CONSIDER ADOPTING SWEET BABY WILLOW! Dm me on Insta if you’re interested! Also I hope you all watched Wicked and were as pleasantly surprised as I was. I rewatched the Wizard of Oz so you don’t have to and spoiler alert: it was all a dream. I’ve been really holding space with that.

On this very special Pubcast, we’re welcoming the man, the myth, the legend JEFF all the way from Cockshiretonland. This Anglophile and local cowboy also happens to be my father, and he’s here to talk all about his pub, Downton Abbey, and his love for Kerrygold butter. Slainte! 0:00 Intro 0:20 Meet Jeff 2:16 The Pub 8:37 Our British travels 13:19 Queenie Liz 14:24 Jeff likes British attire 18:20 W...

This week’s episode is a short one cuz i feel like dookie but it’s a damn shame cuz we’re talking SHARKS! Shark tanks, shark dives, whale sharks, shark week… you name it. Also my grandma? Idk. 0:00 Intro 0:30 LI Aquarium review 4:44 My cage diving beef 7:00 More aquarium review 9:46 Butterfly dementia lady 11:35 My grandma 15:39 Soul Surfer 16:34 Shark facts! 20:50 Any questions? 24:15 Outro