The Otis Advisory

Just in time for fall, Florida’s boss cat has surgically deposited a rolling assortment of extra-grateful migrating people, formerly Illegal Aliens, to an over-priced vineyard some 900 miles due north - as the bar flies.  The local bed wetters of Sanctuary Vineyard were eager to please until it was time for soldiers to scoop up the whole batch and send them to "camp" to be cared for properly - and...

Introducing BetoFrancis' new Flushless Toilet.  “Look how much water we’ll save,” cried Beto. “We’re running out because Republicans are using it all."  Beto's Flushless Toilet comes with 1 flush per week (if you’ve turned in your guns.)  Don't miss this story.  Get Happy.   Get Otis.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of per...

Your Royal Pain Megan, you know, Harry’s girl, just couldn’t wait to get back to the house after the funeral to start going through the Queen’s jewelry drawer.  This probably won’t end well even with Oprah and Elton helping to scratch that itch.  When opportunity knocks, try not to complain about the noise!  Get Happy.   Get Otis. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for i...

People stink.  Some worse than others.  And what you say or do can make it worse.  Put out enough BS and you’ll stink up the place.  So it’s up to you, you little stinker, to do something about it.  It’s not rocket surgery!   HEAR this Pre-Election Advisory from Think Tank Island.   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of person...

How can you tell if your dog is a Republican?  When a republican dog hears CLIMB IT he just things that means it’s OK to get up on the couch.  His idea of a drag show is what he gives you on the carpet after a particularly tasty T-bone.  In the time before filtered water, just about all dogs were republicans - showed up for work, chased a few cats, got some food pellets, licked somebody’s hand and...

Inflation makes you do crazy things like only toasting your bread on one side because you can’t afford to do the whole thing.  It’s starting to look like Paradise Lost, again, Home Edition.  Get Happy.   Get Otis.  Wash Hands. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Gang Green is coming for your heat and air.  Sandy O and the Ladies of the Squat will finally have control of your government-approved home thermostat. What temp is it set on?  Well that depends on you, ya’ pig.  If you behave and turn in your guns, you might qualify for a cozy 78 degrees next summer.  Get Otis. Wash Hands!   www.universalfoolishness.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. S...

Everybody wants to transition to something.  Anything will do, just please change me now to something else.  America is transitioning too.  We're not going bankrupt, were just transitioning to a poor place.  Hear Podcast.  Wash Hands.  https://universalfoolishness.com/   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for...

The Cowboy Code, which I learned as a young Otis (i.e. social drinker) reminds us  that if it’s not yours don’t take it.  If it’s not true don’t say it.  If it’s not right don’t do it.  The Cowboy Code might help you too Hunter, and the horse you rode up on.  Hear Otis.  Wash hands. https://www.universalfoolishness.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information a...

Maybe you still have a toy drawer full of green plastic army men.   Some are standing up, some kneeling down or lying flat, or even looking like they’re throwing something.   They only come in green!  They don’t make green plastic army men in black or brown or pink.  You just get green, that’s it.  If you want diversity, you’re s*** out of luck.  That's because they’re all army men just there to k...

You know when you come home and notice the pantry door open - again, the one you know you closed when you left. You look at the dog; the dog looks back. “Hey, Bingo, how’d you do that with no thumbs?” He’s thinking, “wouldn’t you like to know!” Right there you and the pup have an evolutionary reveal moment as you both notice the same hole in the argument - if we evolved from apes, why are there st...

Did someone forget and leave America outside, locked in a hot car with the windows rolled up?  Joey, was that you?  I’d get outside pronto, we’re burning up out here waiting for the November Jaws of Life to come save us from this!  Get Happy.  Get Otis.  www.universalfoolishness.com  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of perso...

Young Hunter hasn’t always had it so easy.  His first car didn't even have air conditioning.  But Hunter still rode around with the windows up anyway just to impress Jodie Foster.  It wasn’t until he landed on the new family business idea of professional back scratcher that things took off for the Cartel.  But Young Hunter starts getting distracted and soon finds out what the consigners experience...

After a hot Texas summer in the 1860s, reporters asked General Sherman how he liked riding around in August in full dress uniform. Sherman said, “If I owned Texas and Hell, I’d sell Texas and live in Hell!”  That’s clarity.  Now we have  a different kind of clarity.  Otis lays out the Joey buffet of truth - as it happened.  Be sitting down for this one.    www.suiteradio.net/otisradio Hosted by Si...

Kamala is On Sale – that’s right!  The price of having your photo taken with Kamala has been reduced – now only $5k - down from 15 when the Hate America First train first left Bankruptcy Station.  Hop on board this latest Otis Advisory from the salty scholars of Think Tank Island.  Hear Podcast - Wash Hands   www.universalfoolishness.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.co...

Finally got a peek at what the handlers write for Joey on his little note cards before they let him go talk, since McTumblenuts showed the wrong side of the card to the camera!  That cone of uncertainty can happen once the Sarbanes Oxley takes your mind!  It's all right here in the latest Otis Advisory from Think Tank Island.   www.universalfoolishness.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company....

Trying to get out of Joey's economy feels a lot like what happened to the lone hiker who fell down the hole and got his arm stuck in a crack.   Only way out is to chew your own arm off!   Wade into the guilt-free waters of Think Tank Island for this Otis Advisory. www.universalfoolishness.com  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and us...

President Joey usually stays over in Delaware.  But sometimes he stays at the White House. So we thought, when he’s there, go on and put the inflatable ape up on the roof so everybody will know when 10% Guy is in the house and working on the Great Transition.  That's a place where you may be broke, miserable and weigh about 90 pounds, but like Joey says, “Hey, I’m worth it!” It’s the lesion that n...

Everybody knows you NEVER bring the creepy dolls down from the attic.   But that’s just what’s happened!  Now you have olive loaf for dinner and something called Beto Francis for Governor.  What a mess.  Catch this report from the salty scholars of Think Tank Island.   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands.  www.universalfoolishness.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for informa...

Joey needs the JAWS OF LIFE to come get him and pull him out of this wreck.  “Why don’t they love me," cried Joey?  "Look how adorable I am when I tell ‘um how things could be worse!”  Clap or I’ll kill you works for Putin at his Moscow rallies, with a lot less processing and handling than those mail in ballots. That’s when the MIND VIRUS kicks in!  Hear Podcast.  Wash Hands.  www.universalfoolish...

President Joey, now a known pathogen, be-clowns himself each day with garage band psychotherapy designed to show you where you’re going wrong.  Wiggle words help him do that, so you need to know the difference.  "If we just stop drilling for oil, we'll have all the energy we need."  Get the latest Advisory.  more at www.universalfoolishness.com  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.ad...

INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS, The Otis Advisory is a daily News Cartoon for radio.  Senior Fellow Otis finishes off political correctness for a grateful nation in these fully produced news cartoons for radio,  Join the pageantry and wade into the guilt-free waters of Think Tank Island for a scalding look at the Shitegeist of our time.  Otis channels Roy & Will Rogers to hold up a mirror to all that off...

Say hello to Miss Information, she’s freedom’s executioner and bag man to keep a lid on anything you’ve got to say.  This means you, the gas supremacist complaining about what it costs to fill up the hummer.  Hear podcast. Wash hands. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Masks have risks too, and have been known to get caught in a fan or stuck in a bucket of chicken. But quitting is hard. Your therapy mask has been such a good friend and convenient way to help show disgust for others, like Hummer drivers. Comforting isn’t it, and not that different from when they used to put saltpeter in your food to calm you down. You’d just go limp and wait for further instructi...

The gag order has been lifted. Thanks to that nice Mr. Musk, now patron saint of self-expression, SPEAK YOUR MIND is back in town and fans of freedom couldn’t be happier. It only took 44 billion dollars to knock the bottom out of this yappy little waste processing system and make it into something worth tweeting in. Hear Podcast. Wash Hands. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswiz...