The Divorced Muslim Dad Podcast 🐻

Having gone through an acrimonious divorce in 2013 Nav Mirza was faced with something he wasn’t prepared for; legally losing access to his beloved son. Concerned for his welfare after a series of incidents he raised the alarm with the authorities but wasn’t taken seriously. The experience drove him right to the edge on more than one occasion as he felt hopeless in the face of powerful institutions...

Salams and Ramadan mubarak! The conversation you’re about to listen to is with Naushad Qayyum; a highly qualified experienced teacher and international educator turned advocate and campaigner for men’s mental health amongst south asain men. Naushads story is incredible to listen to and covers many themes related to faith and relationships. You see Naushad’s world was turned upside one fateful day...

It’s clear now that our experiences in childhood shape our beliefs that in turn determine the decisions we make about how we live our lives. But what if you don’t like the script you’ve been given? Is it possible to change it and lead a more intentional life and one that’s aligned with the person you want to be? Well to find out the answers to these questions and more I’ve been speaking with Will...

In this episode Alyas Karmani (activist, therapist, counsellor, imam) and I have a meandering conversation about subject of Resilience. Essentially our ability to bounce back from adversity. As usual our discussion take us to unexpected places and we revisit historical events such as apartheid in South Africa, the civil war in Sierra Leone as well as the Crusades, the Battle of Uhud and the Conque...

Following on from publishing the ‘Addiction:Just Say No’ episode I set off to take a break on an organic dairy farm in Amsterdam. Whilst sat in the idyllic dutch countryside I was finishing off Dr Gabor Mate’s book ‘In the realm of hungry ghosts: close encounters with addiction’ when I came across a section that forced me to recognise my own addictive behavioural traits and how they negatively imp...

In this episode Alyas Karmani (Imam, Therapist, Activist) and I discuss the oft misunderstood psychological phenomenon of addiction. Many of us are unaware of what addiction actually is, why it happens and how its impacting our communities. Worryingly society’s attitude to addiction is leading to already traumatised vulnerable people being ostracised, neglected and plunged further into despair. In...

Really excited to share this episode with you! I got to speak with Tafazal Mohammed who is an award winning professional relationship coach based in the UK. Normally my guests offer either a personal story or professional advice but here we get both. Listen to Tafazal’s incredible personal story and the events that led him to get married (for a third time) to someone totally out his context but ve...

On a road trip to Edinburgh part-time Imam and relationship councillor Alyas Karmani and I decided to discuss the potential impact of the ‘Roe vs Wade’ abortion ruling in the USA on Muslim communities living in the west and address the one question everyone seems to be asking ‘What does Islam have to say about abortion?’ Apparently, quite a lot! Comments/feedback/suggestions Email: divorcedmuslimd...

Alyas is back in the hot seat and this time he’s got a bee in his bonnet about…the Manosphere! Never heard of it? Well in short it represents an online global movement of disenfranchised men who wish to reassert there masculine identity through misogynistic rhetoric, extreme ideology and violence. Alerted by a distraught Muslim mother who felt her son was being groomed online to hate women Alyas u...

When’s the last time you changed your mind? I don’t mean about what to have for breakfast but changed your mind about a deeply held belief? Its not an easy thing to do but by challenging our assumptions we can sometimes see the world more clearly. That’s what Shemsah Farooq did by re-examining her beliefs about who she might like to marry. As a never previously married high flying professional Mus...

In this episode I speak with Sarah Khan Bashir, a Muslim lawyer based in the UK. Sarah runs SKB Law; a specialist Family Law firm providing services to the Muslim and South East Asian community. Its a fascinating meandering conversation where we shoot the breeze about: - Whether you really need to get lawyers involved when splitting up - Why Muslims are getting divorced these days - Intra-family m...

Whilst I’ve been publishing this podcast series over the last 12 months a number of listeners have emailed me about their relationship dilemmas. In this episode we hear from ‘Naeem’; a young, educated, articulate Muslim guy from India who takes his faith seriously. He’s keen to get married and has met someone Jess fallen in love with. At the beginning things are great between them but as time goes...

I've been dating since my divorce in 2011; trying to navigate the new world of online dating whilst adhering to the tenants of my faith has been the trickiest of balancing acts. I've made a tonne of mistakes over the years meaning wasted time, money and emotional energy. Although I'm yet to find success online it hasn't made me a relationship sceptic; if anything the amazing women I've met along t...

It's clear that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. If that's the case then it makes sense to assess how we behave with people we care about; especially when they act in a way we find hurtful. Is our reponse constructive or destructive? Do we seek to engage and resolve or hide away? Are we prepared to be honest, brave and vulnerable? In this short but essent...

Good looks? Check. Great job? Check. Good Muslim? Check. Shared interests? Check. Great family? Check? Emotionaly healthy? Check. Now if you manage to find someone to marry that ticks all these boxes then you've hit the jackpot right? Well not necessarily. There's another dimension you really should consider that's absolutely crucial; spiritual compatability. In this episode of Insights Alyas and...

It's taken a bit longer than expected but in this episode I'm finally talking about my divorce: how we went about it, the emotional journey I've undertaken and some of the lessons I've learned. You'll also hear why I believe emotional compatibility between couples is more important than having common interests, why you're probably wasting your time looking for a soulmate and why 'til death do us p...

Tariq is a dear friend; someone I've known for over 20 years. He married in 1996 and 16 years and 4 kids later he experienced the anguish of a painful divorce. Remarkably only 12 months later he found love again in a far away land. As someone who has been single after divorce for many years I wanted to hear first hand how he overcame the heartache and trauma and how he was able to find the capacit...

A newly married couples first experience of intimacy togther is a critical moment that sets the tone for the immediate and perhaps long term future of a relationship. In this episode Alyas Karmani (imam, psychologist, sex therapist) and I speak candidly about intimacy problems Muslim couples experience, the increasing prevalence of psychosexual disfunction, the impact of pornography on sexualities...

Becoming a father is straight forward. Being a dad is not. Add to the mix the desire to bring up your children as Muslims at a time when Islam is under the spotlight doesn't lighten the load. In this episode I talk about my experience of becoming a father and my sometimes painful transition to embracing parenthood. I talk about helping my kids to forge their Islamic identity in a hostile environme...

It's summertime here in the UK and that means one thing...wall to wall weddings! You just can't move for invitations. But something strange had happened over the years with the simple wedding transformed into incredibly elaborate and extravagant affairs with no expense spared and nothing left to chance. But what about the actual marriage itself? How much marriage planning had gone in to ensuring t...

As the birth of our first child approached we did what any excited couple would do…we went pram shopping! But little did we know what this seemingly innocuous event would reveal so much about ourselves and our relationship. In this episode Alyas and I chat about conflict in relationships and the lost art of negotiation and compromise. This is the fourth episode in the ‘insights' series: a deep div...

In this episode Alyas and I discuss how mental health can impact relationships and conversely how relationships are impacted by mental health. This is the third in the 'insights' series: a deep divie into specific aspects of Muslim relationships provided by counselor Alyas Karmani. Check it out. tw/Insta: @moiazam

This is the second in the 'insights' series: a deeper dive into specific aspects of Muslim relationships provided by counselor Alyas Karmani. In this episode Alyas offers 8 behavioural traits - based on extensive research and experience - that lead to nurturing and sustaining a successful marriage. Always super fun talking to Al. Check it out.

How do you know when a relationship is over? Like really over? Throughout my 10 year marriage there were countless moments I thought we shouldn’t be together but we endured oblivious to the walls slowly crumbling around us.  I guess what I'm asking is; at what point you should call it day even though you’re not 100% sure why? Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com tw/insta: @moiazam

Remember Alyas Karmani? Of course you do! On one of my previous episodes he spoke passionately about his experiences of counselling Muslim couples over the last 25 years but painted a bleak picture of the future if the quality of relationships in the community didn't change for the better asap. It got me thinking: how can we start to affect change? 'Insights' is a new series of conversations that...