Surviving Narcissism with Dr. Les Carter

Today Dr. C interviews author Debbie Mirza on her book, The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist. She describes what this pattern consists of, and the two of them discuss ways to stay out of their unique manipulations. To learn more about Debbie, visit her website at https://www.debbiemirza.com/. If you are interested in online therapy, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. Go to our sponsor ht...

Dr. C welcomes psychiatrist and best-selling author, Dr. Judith Orloff.  She has a deep history of studying and writing about the strengths inherent in the empathic approach to relationships.  Their discussion focuses on understanding what is at stake when narcissists attempt to minimize the healthy ingredients of an empath. To learn more about Dr. Orloff, visit her website, https://drjudithorloff...

Dr. C takes a detour from his normal talks about narcissism, describing a very difficult time in his own deep history.  During this time, he encountered an unusual man, Miguel, who could almost be described as an angel in disguise.  He was the exact opposite of the narcissistic people Dr. C has encountered on so many occasions.   Go to https://betterhelp.com/ survivingnarcissismpodcast for 10% off...

A common identifier of narcissism is the inability to receive input, as well as a refusal to tune into others' feelings and perceptions.  Dr. Les Carter explains that behind such a pattern is a deeper issue...Narcissists have declared themselves to be the keepers of truth.  They must be right.  The more you can see through a narcissist's need to lord over you with their version of false co...

Dr. C welcomes Rebecca Zung who has just released a new book, Slay The Bully, How To Negotiate With A Narcissist And Win.  Being a family law attorney specializing in high conflict cases, she brings a wealth of information to the table as she explains the SLAY method of responding with narcissists. Go to https://betterhelp.com/ survivingnarcissismpodcast for 10% off your first month of therapy wit...

Trauma bonding inside unhealthy relationships arises as the recipient experiences ongoing emotional overload.  Dr. Les Carter describes how you can break the bond by understanding what the narcissist hopes to gain, then by identifying and living into your best version of yourself.  You  can  succeed in defining who you want to be, separate from the narcissist. Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this...

Narcissists, being fully committed to the False Self, want you to assume they are the ones with the answers, when in fact, they are deeply insecure.  In this episode, Dr. C responds to questions he has received from listeners for the purpose of showing you some of the many ways narcissists display their inner tension.  They can't come to terms with their hidden insecurities, but you can stay d...

A defining feature of narcissism is the willingness to manipulate.  And because of other issues like the need for control, an attitude of entitlement, and raw selfishness, it is predictable that they will have serious anger issues too.  Not a good combination.  Dr. Les Carter welcomes therapist Jim Brillon who will discuss in detail how to maneuver through the traps narcissists wish to lay in fron...

Dr. Les Carter shares an insightful interview with psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, who is a lecturer at the Harvard Medical School in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and who also maintains an active therapy practice.  Dr. Malkin explains how narcissism is a combination of inborn temperament and learned patterns, and also discusses why they have such difficulty regulating themselves as adults. Go to https...

A hallmark of the mature personality is the willingness to take responsibility for who you are.  Mature people understand that every stage of life presents challenges, and they welcome the process of introspection as they determine how to wisely respond.  Narcissists, however, refuse to do the hard work of finding insight and making adjustments.  Instead, their psychological laziness prompts them...

Narcissists are predators who are quite willing to exploit and use you for their own personal gain.  Dr. C describes their mindset as they engage with you, then he also identifies cues they look for to determine if indeed you will susceptible to their schemes.  As you see through their patterns it will position you to remain true to yourself, staying out of the snares they lay in front of you. Go...

While narcissists try to present themselves as all together, behind the scenes there is much unfinished business they carry.  Dr. C talks with special guest Kati Morton about what drives narcissists and how we can maintain emotional steadiness despite their lack of it. You can find Kati on her website, https://katimorton.com/. You can follow Kati on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube at @ka...

Narcissists like to give the impression that they have life figured out and that you should defer to their mandates.  Dr. Les Carter offers a very different perspective, discussing how they are actually profoundly needy and act as they do because they have not learned to come to terms with life's challenges. Go to https://betterhelp.com/ survivingnarcissismpodcast for 10% off your first month...

Dr. C welcomes trauma specialist Caroline Strawson who explains how trauma bonding to a narcissist impacts you physiologically.  Having a history in the medical profession as well as surviving her own traumatic experiences, she brings a wealth of information and insight into this vital topic. Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this episode. Secure your online presence and get 40% off of all plans us...

Dr. C is joined by Dr. Kerry McAvoy, author of Love You More.  She clearly describes some primary signs to watch for as you determine the level of toxicity in a narcissist.  As you understand how their outward actions are an indication of inner turmoil, you can learn not to be pulled in by their manipulations. Go to https://betterhelp.com/ survivingnarcissismpodcast for 10% off your first month of...

The longer you engage with narcissists, the more they illustrate how internally conflicted they are.  But instead of using healthy introspection, they turn outward as they try to make you responsible for their personal turmoil.  Dr. C discusses this phenomenon by emphasizing that you are not required to enter into their combative games.  Instead, you can resolve to be a person who l...

Go to https://betterhelp.com/ survivingnarcissismpodcast for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsored Dr. Ingrid Clayton joins Dr. C in discussing her own history of trauma and abuse and how it has impacted her.  She is a talented therapist who specializes in trauma recovery and is willing to draw upon her experie...

If you are a healthy person, you know you are a work in progress.  You seek input.  You contemplate insights.  You embrace accountability.  Dr. Les Carter reminds you that such an approach is anathema to narcissists who instead will thwart others' efforts to discuss improvements.  As a result, they persist in all sorts of maladaptive behaviors. Thank you to Aura for sponso...

Illogical as it may be, narcissists approach their closest relationships with the goal of emptying you of yourself, filling you instead with themselves.  Dr. Les Carter outlines the many tactics they use, and explains their profoundly insecure reasoning.  Your task is to become aware of their aims, then leaning into your uniqueness as fully as possible. Go to https://betterhelp.com/ surv...

Dr. Jacqui Lewis is a highly respected author and speaker who recently published the book, Fierce Love.  She and Dr. C discuss how she learned to move away from toxic relationships by becoming devoted to the practice of love…beginning with oneself, then toward others, and then in the public arena. Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this episode. Secure your online presence and get 40% off of al...

In the best case scenario, as you build relationships, you will be honest about your strengths and  your weaknesses.  Narcissists, however, are schemers attempting to establish superiority, and are not interested in honest relationships.  In fact, their posturing is done for the purpose of setting themselves up as the gold standard, with you being the less-than-adequate one.  T...

Recently Dr. Les Carter interviewed Dr. Ramani Durvasula about how to break free from a narcissist.  In this wide ranging discussion you’ll get to know more fully what she considers the greatest challenges as you become separate and distinct in your manner of participating in relationships. Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this episode. Secure your online presence and get 40% off of all plans...

On the surface, narcissists can appear decent or cooperative, but that falls apart when tension and anger arise inside relationships.  Dr. Les Carter explains how narcissists carry many internal, dysfunctional patterns that show up in moments of conflict, so it is essential to know what you are up against.  Pulling back the curtain, he explains how to interpret a narcissist's blustery, n...

Central to the pattern of narcissism is an ongoing attitude of entitlement.  Dr. Les Carter breaks down this topic by explaining the many ways this trait impacts the narcissist's interactions with you.  As you clearly understand the lack of common sense associated with their entitlement, you can choose to step away from the "requirements" the narcissist wishes to impose. Thank you to Aur...

David Zahl is the author of a new book, Low Anthropology, which describes the need to be authentic and honest in the ways relate, as opposed to creating and maintaining an ideal image of oneself.  They discuss the need for letting go of the need to falsely impress, choosing an approach to relationships that embraces each other’s True Self. Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode....