SunShan & Rainbows ☀️🌈

In this episode, we take on the most common myths about polyamory and put them to the test. From the belief that everyone in polyamory is in or wants a triad, to the misconception that it is all about sex or not about sex at all, we explore the full spectrum of misunderstandings. We address the assumptions that polyamory is for people who fear commitment, want to cheat without guilt, or are emotio...

In this episode, we sit down with Desireé B. Stephens, an educator, counselor, and community builder whose work centers on liberation through decolonization and whole-self healing. Desireé shares her journey of engaging in consensual non-monogamy during her early dating life and first marriage at 19, long before she had the language for it. While her husband dated and had sex with others, she rema...

In this episode, we unpack some of the most common pitfalls people encounter when entering or navigating polyamorous relationships. We explore the challenges of unicorn hunting and dating only as a couple, the risks of using polyamory as a solution for failed monogamous relationships, and the problems that come from copy-pasting monogamous norms into polyamory. We also discuss the difference betwe...

In this episode, we sit down with Kykujichagulia Wright to hear the powerful story of his journey into ethical non-monogamy. He shares candid reflections about his teenage years, when he often found himself having strong feelings for more than one girl and resorted to cheating because he lacked the language and models for healthy non-monogamous relationships. We follow his story from those early d...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we talk about our experiences navigating polyamorous online spaces and dating apps. From the vibrant communities we found in Facebook groups like Poly Black & Dating, Poly Coast 2 Coast, and Black & Poly, to the differences we noticed between polyamory-focused groups and those centered on polygamy, we reflect on how these spaces helped us find community and f...

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Evita Lavitaloca Sawyers, a renowned coach, educator, and speaker in the polyamory and non-monogamy space. Evita opens up about her personal evolution—beginning with a conventional monogamous marriage and the desire to explore her queerness. That desire led her and her husband into swinging, a journey that exposed challenges around communication, jealousy...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we unpack the very real tension between living authentically and managing how family, friends, and the public perceive our polyamorous relationships. From navigating dual social media identities to experiencing awkward moments at events, we talk candidly about what it’s like to be “out” in some spaces and "in the closet" in others. We explore the gendered dou...

In this episode, we sit down with polyamory coach and educator Chaneé Jackson Kendall for a rich and heartfelt conversation. She shares how she chooses love over fear when navigating the challenges of polyamory, and how that mindset has shaped her personal journey and the way she supports others. Chaneé also opens up about gaining acceptance from family and friends for her lovestyle and what it to...

In this episode we explore the differences between privacy, transparency, and confidentiality and why navigating agreements and boundaries concerning them can be especially complex in polyamorous relationships. We discuss how to craft agreements and boundaries when it comes to communication with other partners and introduce the concept of a communication alignment spectrum, which ranges from peopl...

In this powerful conversation with Kris Parker, we explore how her bisexuality became the catalyst for opening their ten‑year marriage. We discuss how that journey led them into polyamory—dating both together and separately—the emotional challenges she faced with her husband’s other relationships, and the profound shift in her perspective. Kris also shares the inspiration behind founding Poly Coas...

In this episode, we explore the unique experience of being a hinge in polyamory—the central person who connects two partners who aren't involved with each other. From defining the hinge role to diving into why it’s challenging, we unpack what it really means to carry emotional labor, balance multiple needs, and set healthy boundaries. Sundiata and Shani each share heartfelt stories from their own...

Listen in as we trace Tank & Pink's journey—from meeting as teens, marrying, and raising a family, to exploring swinging, embracing polyamory, and co-founding the powerful Facebook community Poly Black & Dating . This inclusive space has fostered life-changing connections for many, including Shani & Sundiata. Poly Black & Dating Facebook Group Poly Black & Dating App More From SunShan: Polyamory E...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we delve into our personal experiences with polyamorous dating , shedding light on the nuances and dynamics we've encountered. 💫​ We discuss: 🛤️​ Our Polyamorous Dating Journeys : Sharing stories from our paths in the polyam dating scene. ⚤​ Gender-Based Experiences : Exploring how dating differs for a man and a woman in polyamory. 🌈 Sexual Orientation Dyn...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we delve into the complex emotions of jealousy and envy within polyamorous relationships, sharing personal experiences and insights. 💫​ We explore:​ 📚​ Defining Jealousy vs. Envy : Understanding the distinction between these emotions. 🛤️​ Personal Stories : Sharing moments when we've felt jealousy or envy, and instances where metamours have experienced the...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we dive into the misconception that polyamory is solely about mff triads (male-female-female) or throuples and explore the rich diversity within polyamorous relationships. 💫​ We discuss:​ 🔄​ Understanding Triads : Defining closed and open triads, and their dynamics. 🛑​ Stereotypes in Polyamory : Addressing the common portrayal of polyamorous relationships...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we delve into our personal experiences with sexual liberation and how embracing polyamory has transformed our intimate lives. We discuss: 🛏️🔒 Our Sex Lives Before Polyamory : Reflecting on our intimate experiences prior to embracing non-monogamy. 💫💞 Our Sex Lives Since Polyamory : Sharing how opening our relationship has enriched and diversified our sexua...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we explore our evolving perspectives on marriage and why we've chosen a different path for our relationship. We discuss: 🔄 Shifting Beliefs : How our views on marriage have transformed over time. 🏛️ Patriarchy's Influence : Understanding marriage's roots in patriarchal structures. 🔗 Compulsory Monogamy : Challenging the societal push towards monogamous rel...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we’re talking all about metamour relationships—the unique connections between your partner’s partners. We explore: 💡 What is a metamour? Defining the role and what it means in polyamory. 💬 Our personal experiences—the highs, the lows, and everything in between. 🪞 How we perceive ourselves as metamours—personal reflections. 🌱 Hopes & fears—what we wish for...

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we’re talking about nesting —our decision to live together as a polyamorous couple and how it has shaped our relationship and family life. We explore:🏠 Why we chose to nest – How and why we got to the point where we wanted to live together.🔄 Our nesting experiences – The joys, challenges, and surprises since moving in together.💡 Gender roles vs. team role...

Episode Description: We’re back for Season 2! 🎉 In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we dive into parenting and polyamory , sharing insights from our own experiences as parents navigating consensual non-monogamy. We discuss: 👶 Our family dynamic – How many kids we have and their ages. 🧠 Conscious parenting – How we foster open-minded, emotionally intelligent children. 💬 Introducing polyamor...

Click above to listen to the audio ⬆️ Click below to watch the video on YouTube ⬇️ Description: In Episode 8, the final episode of Season 1, of SunShan & Rainbows , we’re diving into the topic of sex and how we navigate open communication about sexual experiences with other people. We discuss the balance between autonomy and responsibility, sharing how we manage risk, prioritize safety, and mainta...

Click above to listen to the audio ⬆️ Click below to watch the video on YouTube ⬇️ Description: In Episode 7 of SunShan & Rainbows , we dive into the ways we communicate about our other relationships and the importance of maintaining openness and clarity in polyamory. 💬 We share the questions we ask each other, the kinds of updates we give (and sometimes don’t give), and how we handle logistical...

Click above to listen to the audio ⬆️ Click below to watch the video on YouTube ⬇️ Description: In Episode 6 of SunShan & Rainbows, we dive into the purpose and significance of relationship labels and titles, particularly within the context of polyamory. We explore the commonly used title "partner" and introduce a new, meaningful title created by Sundiata called "Libbei." 💫 Join us as we unpack h...

Click above to listen to the audio ⬆️ Click below to watch the video on YouTube ⬇️ Description: In this insightful episode of SunShan & Rainbows , we dive into the Theory of Sustainable Relationships , a philosophy developed by Sundiata and expanded by Shani. This unique approach to dating and connection challenges the common "romance or bust" mentality, where relationships are often discarded if...

Click above to listen to the audio ⬆️ Click below to watch the video on YouTube ⬇️ Description: In this episode, Shani and Sundiata take us back to the beginning of their love story, sharing how they first met and the early days of their journey in polyamory 💖 From their initial connection to navigating the complexities of consensual non-monogamy, they discuss the challenges, triumphs, and lesson...