Shame Spiral

This week I spiraled out with screenwriter, showrunner & director Ilana Peña! ( Diary Of A Future President, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend )  We talked how earnestly loving things can make you an easy target, the double punch of when shame and anxiety spirals intertwine, annoying film and theater school bros, feeling haunted by the fear of being a horrible person, being too anxious to do drugs, and so m...

This week I spiraled out with brilliant and hilarious stand up comic, writer & actress Aparna Nancherla! (The Standups, Crashing, Bojack Horsemen, Colbert)   We talked the relentless suspicion that you're intrinsically wrong and how anxiety finds a million little ways to confirm that,  spiraling over confrontation and relationships, flip-flopping between anxiety and depression, the tortur...

This week I spiraled out with author, speaker, curator & librarian Lachrista Greco! ( @theguerrillafeminist, Olive Grrrls: Italian North American Women & The Search For Identity )  Lachrista has published several books with another coming soon,  is doing incredible work around preventing and coping with digital violence, and is all-around brilliant, passionate, hilarious and so relatable. ...

This week I spiraled out with hilarious standup comedian & actress Abbi Crutchfield! ( Up Early Tonight,  The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, The Kid Is In School Podcast )  We talked Mom shame, losing your cool, self-blame and that relentless internal critical voice, talking to kids about difficult topics, pandemic feelings, when your coping skills are also a defense, and soooo much more! Plu...

This week I spiraled out with brilliant comedian, writer and actor Jay Jurden! ( The Problem With John Stewart, The Late Show, The Tonight Show, High Maintenance ) We talked being a tortured queer youth and shameful early queer relationships, biphobia, obsessing over what others' think of you, the anatomy of a shame spiral, the plague of coolness being equated with not trying, fear of abandon...

This week I spiraled out with ridiculously funny & brilliant standup comic and Emmy-winning television writer Robby Hoffman! ( Workin' Moms, The Chris Gethard Show, Odd Squad, Just For Laughs )  We talked class shame,  being the poorest and most religious Jewish kid in school,  the way people disown and project shame on others so they don't have to deal with their own, queer love, da...

This week I spiraled out with hilarious standup comedian & Julliard-trained violist Isabel Hagen! ( The Tonight Show, Just For Laughs. ) We talked obsessing over what people think of you, the shame spiraling that performing comedy evokes and how Isabel deals with BOMBING,  addiction/ recovery, why being vulnerable feels both so good and oh so bad,  what it would be like to be a person who isn&...

This week I spiraled out with standup comedian & writer Clara Olshansky! ( Flamethrowers, My First Joke.)   We talked career shame, dating shame, shame embodied as the snake from the Garden of Eden, the horrible things you tell yourself when you've descended into a spiral, and SO MUCH MORE. Plus, Clara tells a heartbreaking and very relatable  shame story about a moment in a teen improv c...

This week I spiraled out with super funny stand up comedian and former UN war crimes lawyer Jess Salomon! ( The Tonight Show,  JFL, The El-Salomons ) We talked late-in-life ADHD diagnoses, the nightmare of being told you have bad breath, The L Word as a catalyst for Jess' first lesbian experience, Judaism and Zionism, Manatees as the embodiment of shame and SO MUCH MORE. Plus, Jess tells an i...

This week I spiraled out with standup comedian, writer & actress Marcella Arguello!!! ( Bitch, Grow Up! on HBO Max) We talked shamelessness, the value of owning your sh*t and being uncomfortable, plastic surgery, love and dating, family dynamics, and what Marcella thinks truly pushes the envelope in comedy.  Plus, Marcella tells a shame story about performing at a comedy festival while reeling...

This week I spiraled out with actor, writer & activist Theo Germaine! ( The Politician, Work in Progress, They-Slash-Them. )   We talked growing up queer/trans in the Midwest, shame embodied as a lanky, hungry bear, the relationship between shame and surviving trauma, navigating sharing vulnerably about yourself when you're a public person, and sooooo much more.  Plus, Theo tells a shame...

This week I spiraled out with comedian, writer & actress Milly Tamarez! ( Betches Sup Podcast, Clown Parade, Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me )  We talked shame and social media, dating and breakups, shame embodied as a sneaky, slithering snake, the brutal impulse to compare yourself with others in the entertainment industry, staying grounded and hopeful when your world view is challenged, and...

This week I spiraled out with stand up comedian, actress & writer Rosebud Baker! (Whiskey Fists, Life & Beth, SNL)  We talked being recovering alcoholics,  living like a disgusting swine on tour, feeling no shame when you should and big shame when you shouldn't, sparring with your therapist, the urge to isolate, screaming in the shower, and SO MUCH MORE.  Plus, Rosebud shares a story...

This week I spiraled out with stand up comic, television writer and director Niles Abston ( Dave, Household Name .)  We talked being a people pleaser in life and the furthest thing from it in comedy,  shame embodied as a chilled out orangutan, the most humiliating thing that could happen on a second date, and SO MUCH MORE.  Plus, Niles shares a  story about dropping out of college to move to LA an...

This week I spiraled out with the delightfully funny, charming, and ELEVEN TIME EMMY-NOMINATED Ariel Dumas (Head Writer- The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. )  We talked the three shameful things that happen to everyone in adulthood, why feeling bad can feel oh so good, the  spooky and powerful embodied physicality of shame- and Ariel even tolerated me enthusiastically (and obvs unofficially) diag...

This week I spiraled out with actor and writer Clementine Ford (The L Word, The Young & The Restless.)  We talked Mom guilt, bisexual invisibility,  shame vs embarrassment, toxic diet culture & fatphobia in Hollywood, the complexities of having a famous mother, and so much more! Plus, Clementine tells a shame story about how a seemingly benign seat on a plane quickly spiraled into feelings...

This week I spiraled out with academic, author & podcaster Hannah McGregor ( Witch, Please; A Sentimental Education.)   We talked sticky jam-handed shame monsters, confessed insecurities/projections about each other, unpacked humiliating teenaged moments and our queer femme identities,  and SO MUCH MORE. Plus, Hannah tells a super juicy and HORRIBLE shame story about a toxic dynamic with her a...

This week I spiraled out with film, television & theater actress, and incredible singer  Kuhoo Verma ( Plan B, The Big Sick. )  We talked about how being roasted can feel like being loved,  undiagnosed childhood ADHD and punk rock ADHD hacks,  the difference between real vulnerability and the performative kind, and so much more.  Plus, Kuhoo tells a shame story about a seemingly small but horr...

This week I spiraled out with tv writer,  actor, author & comedian Rachel Wenitsky ( The Tonight Show,  Friends Who Folk. )  We talked being shameless but not in a girlboss way,  inherited Jewish anxiety,  feeling dumb vs feeling bad, and so much more. Plus, Rachel tells a deeply relatable (especially to anyone with anxiety) shame story about absolutely SPIRALING after adopting her now extreme...

This week I spiraled out with writer, stand up comedian, and podcaster Pallavi Gunalan ( Lovett Or Leave It, City Counsel. )  We talked feeling like a big ol' mess, why stealing from corporations isn't all that bad, and even stumbled into some accidental DEEP INNER CHILD WORK.  Plus, Pallavi shares a shame story about not awesome choices she made while dating in her twenties- that she&ap...

This week I spiraled out with television writer,  showrunner & producer Jaclyn Moore ( Queer As Folk, Dear White People .)  We dove deep into shame showing up via religious trauma,  feeling like a bad trans person, horrible online trolls,  accidentally trashing someone's work right to their face, and SO MUCH MORE.  Plus, Jaclyn shares a shame story about being a curious Catholic youth and...

This week I spiraled out with stand up comedian, Emmy-nominated television writer, and VULNERABLE QUEEN Ellory Smith (Funnilingus, Robot Chicken.)   We talked re-parenting yourself as an adult, whether emotional or physical cheating is worse, the way that ignored pain will make itself KNOWN, and so much more. Plus, Ellory tells an incredible shame story about spending more money than she should ha...

This week I spiraled out with stand-up comic, television writer & podcaster Ashley Ray ( TV, I Say w/ Ashley Ray. )  We talked the power of a shameless Mom, the fear of letting people down,  the ferocity of high school theater kids, and how shame doesn't always have to be nefarious- to Ashley, it's a friendly lemur on her shoulder. Plus, Ashley shares a shame story about being in a r...

This week I spiraled out with stand up comic, writer and disarmingly charming person DeAnne Smith ( Comedians Of The World: Gentleman Elf, Just For Laughs. )  We talked feeling you must earn your worth, accidentally sexting your Dad, and learning that some of the awful notions we carry about ourselves for DECADES may not be true- and maybe never were. Plus, DeAnne shares a truly heartbreaking sham...

This week I spiraled out with comedian, writer, and total mensch Josh Gondelman! ( Desus & Mero, Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, People Pleaser. )  We talked the god-awful experience of having a human body, the desire to control others' perceptions,  the psychology of Elon Musk, and so much more.  Plus, Josh shares a shame story about his body absolutely betraying him,  minutes before...