Seeing Other People

Have you ever been so focused on whether someone likes you that you forgot to ask yourself if you even like them? In this solo episode, I’m breaking down how easy it is to confuse validation, attention, and the excitement of being chosen with actually liking someone. We’ll talk about why dating can start to feel like an audition, how to shift your focus from “Do they like me?” to “Do I like them?”...

Cohosts for Life is officially moving to Tuesdays! This week, we're catching up on life lately, pregnancy struggles, nursery prep, and Ilana's trip to North Carolina before diving into your listener questions. We're talking about how to keep the excitement alive in a relationship once you've settled into a routine, sharing our favorite ways to plan dates and date card days, and giving advice to a...

Are you constantly thinking you should be married by now, should be over your ex, should know how you feel after a few dates, or should be further along in your life Dr. Lucette Beall joins me to break down what all of this “shoulding” actually does to our brains and how it can impact the choices we make in dating and relationships. We talk about societal timelines, learning to separate what you a...

Who keeps track of everything that needs to get done in your relationship? Ilana sits down with InvisiBILL – Anxiety Receipts founder Lisa Virginia Anderson to talk about mental load, invisible labor, and what happens when one person becomes the project manager of the relationship. They discuss why “just tell me what you need” isn't always as helpful as it sounds, how resentment builds when one pe...

Ilana and Jake are coming to you from a rainy weekend in the Hamptons with lots to catch up on: Ilana officially understands football, someone finally offered her a subway seat at six and a half months pregnant, she took her glucose test, and they toured their first daycare. Then, they get into your listener questions about how to stop internalizing rejection as proof that you weren’t “enough,” wh...

Rejection can make you question everything about yourself. Was I too much? Not enough? Did I do something wrong? And why did they choose someone else instead of me? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why someone not choosing you doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough, how to stop looking to everyone else for answers, and what rejection actually does and doesn’t say about you. Plus, I’m answerin...

Stefanos Sifandos, relationship coach, speaker, and author of Tuned In and Turned On , joins Seeing Other People to talk about what happens after you find the right person. We dive into why a relationship isn’t the finish line, how healthy relationships can bring unresolved patterns to the surface, and how to tell the difference between something you need to work through and something your partner...

This week, we’re talking daycare waitlists, baby registry decisions, why Ilana is becoming a baby product expert, and the realities of figuring out taxes when you’re self-employed. Then we answer your questions: Is the second date too soon to say you’re serious about having kids? How do you stop finding love from becoming the one thing you can’t stop thinking about? And should you write someone of...

An anonymous guest joins the podcast to talk about navigating a long-term relationship in a big city — from taking their first trip together just two months into dating, to moving in together before getting engaged, to ultimately buying a home together. We talk about the pressure of the “relationship escalator,” making major decisions on your own timeline, navigating family members who don’t under...

Jane Garnett, former Hollywood producer turned psychotherapist and author of This Time With Feeling , joins the podcast to talk about how to get unstuck — from old emotional patterns, the stories we tell ourselves, and the idea that our lives are supposed to look a certain way. We talk about why understanding our patterns doesn’t always stop us from repeating them, how disappointment can become a...

Ilana and Jake catch up on baby prep, their first stroller arrival, Ilana’s newfound obsession with baby clothes, Jake’s thoughts on being married to a content creator, and why apparently having a twin bed until age 26 builds character. Then, they get into your listener questions. If they were single today, how would they actually go about finding their person? They talk dating apps, singles event...

Missing someone after a breakup can make you question everything. Did you make a mistake? Does still loving them mean you should try again? And if nobody else compares, does that mean they were actually your person? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why missing someone doesn’t mean you should be together, how nostalgia can make us forget why things ended, and how to tell the difference betwe...

Erica Shea is back on Seeing Other People, and this time she’s married. After years of dating, heartbreak, situationships, and wondering if she was ever going to find her person, Erica is now on the other side of the story—and realizing that finding your person is only the beginning. We talk about what it feels like to finally have the life you spent so much time hoping for, why she wishes she cou...

This week, we’re catching up on life lately. We talk baby registry overwhelm, the stroller we think we’re getting, football season, the best things we ate this week, and how different our lives will look this time next year. Plus, Ilana’s newest obsession, getting ahead before maternity leave, and what we’ve been watching and reading. Chapters: 00:00 UPPAbaby vs. Bugaboo 02:40 Life lately 04:30 Gr...

Harry is back for his fourth appearance on Seeing Other People, and this time he's on camera for the first time. He just turned 35, his younger brother got engaged, and the feeling that everyone around you is hitting milestones while you're still out here going on first dates? We get into all of it. How do you make peace with being on a completely different timeline than your friends, your sibling...

Najwa Zebian, author of The One Who Broke You Can’t Heal You , joins the podcast for a conversation about heartbreak, healing, and what it really means to move on when someone has hurt you. We talk about why the person who broke you can’t be the one to heal you, why closure is a myth, and how waiting for an apology, an explanation, or someone’s regret can keep you stuck. Najwa shares what it looks...

Jake spent the weekend hosting a fantasy football draft while Barkley lived his best boys day and paid for it later, and Ilana went to her first pregnancy brand event and is currently dealing with back pain that she describes as someone stabbing her. Also: Ilana read two books in a week, including Hayden Panettiere's memoir and Michelle Obama's Becoming, and somehow still can't remember Garrett Wi...

What do you do when you and your partner have different ideal timelines 3 years into your relationship? How to be less anxious after a great date? I’m answering your questions about relationship timelines, rejection texts, dating anxiety vs. chemistry, and surviving the first trimester. Plus, I’m reacting to the most unhinged marriage advice you’ve ever received and sharing why I’m seriously missi...

Serena Kerrigan, founder of Let’s Fucking Date and author of Let’s F cking Date*, joins the podcast for a long-overdue reunion — five years after she was one of the first guests on Seeing Other People. We talk about why modern dating needs a new rulebook, how to stop dating from a place of scarcity, why rejection doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, and what it looks like to actually trust yo...

We’re back with a LOT to catch up on after another Jonas Brothers concert. We’re sharing what went down at MSG, why our entire section was rooting for us, and how we felt when it didn’t happen. Then, I’m sharing a big update about the future of Seeing Other People, what “maternity leave” looks like when you work for yourself, and what changes you can expect to see in the SOP world. Plus, I’m offic...

Isabelle Surielow, PhD candidate, matchmaker, and relationship consultant, joins the podcast to unpack what it really means to find love — and why sometimes the search for a relationship is actually a search for ourselves. We talk about dating with intention, why knowing what you want matters, the difference between standards and preferences, and how focusing on how you want to feel in a relations...

Mika Ross, therapist and relationship coach, joins the podcast to talk about the parts of relationships nobody teaches you until you’re already in one. We talk about what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship beyond chemistry and compatibility, why communication is so much more complicated than “just talk about it,” and how to navigate conflict without letting resentment build. Mika al...

It’s Ilana’s birthday weekend, the Jets are (almost) back, and somehow the Jonas Brothers might be helping us reveal our baby’s gender?! We’re talking about how our very unserious idea turned into a viral campaign that actually got Joe and Kevin Jonas’ attention, plus birthday plans, the weird guilt of posting on social media when you haven’t texted people back, and a conversation about choosing t...

This week I'm answering seven listener questions, and somehow they all circle back to the same underlying thing: learning which feelings you can actually trust. I get into why not missing someone might mean secure instead of anxious, why every breakup doesn't mean you failed, and what it means when someone checks every box but still makes you feel unseen. I also cover the line between healthy comp...

Kelly Ehlers, award-winning founder, writer, speaker, podcast host, and author of Nice Girls Win , joins the podcast to unpack the invisible rules so many women live by — and what it looks like to choose yourself without blowing up your life. We talk about why being “nice” doesn’t have to mean being a people pleaser, how boundaries can actually make you a better nice girl, and why saying no doesn’...