Passing for Normal

Jared and Colleen talk about their adventure of moving back to Austria, as Americans, who haven't yet gotten comfortable with things working out. They discuss how grief impacts everything and how they are trying to find ways to enjoy what they can. 

Jared and Colleen discuss their upcoming move and the mental load that brings as well as the concept of integrating grief and moving with it, as a part of the story, not the center. 

In this episode Jared is back! We discussed the contentious relationship we have with Mother's Day and Bereaved Mother's Day, a bit of the history around the days, and if we could change things, what we would want to see. If you have any thoughts we would love to hear from you! Send a message on Instagram @_colleenenglish 

Chloe is back and we talk about senioritis as she counts down to high school graduation and Colleen counts down to the move. We discuss SMOs, significant moments of overwhelm and how each copes with them differently. 

We are back! In honor of siblings day, Chloe joined me to talk about what it's like being the typical, surviving sibling. She shares her hot takes on the concept of the glass child, growing with grief and what we managed to do right as parents. 

In this episode we discuss the life altering, disorienting process of recovering, falling into normal, and pursuing magic again.

After a hiatus, Jared is back! We talk briefly about where he's been and why he's returning to the podcast now. In honor of it being Father's Day down in Australia, we focused our conversation around a dad's perspective on being a parent/caregiver. Jared shares how he told strangers in Hobbiton about our chaotic life and why he thinks reading fantasy with the girls was one of his best dad moves.

After my unexpected hiatus I am back and discussing the funk I've been in and reflecting on one of the lessons I learned from Claire, to do hard things, you need support.

It is no secret that I don't love Mother's Day and the consumer based forced nature of the holiday. Plot twist, I was very excited to learn about the roots of the holiday and how inclusive it inherently is of the bereaved. I would love to hear your thoughts, do we need a bereaved Mother's Day too? Message me on Instagram @_colleenenglish

Lessons from Claire: Adapt. I know I am preaching to the choir on this. This episode is not about how to adapt things for your child. It is a reminder to adapt things for yourself and a story about how much I love coffee and believe in the power of community. I would love to hear from you! Please let me know what you think of the podcast on Instagram @_colleenenglish You can find me on substack to...

Hello! After our extended holiday it is good to be back. This week marks four years since Claire passed unexpectedly. In 2023 I wrote a piece called " Leaving Holland " a response to the poem " Welcome to Holland " by Emily Perl Kingsley that attempts to describe a bit what this process has felt like. In this episode I give a quick update and read this piece that still resonates deeply within me....

Wishing you all peace and joy in the last few days of the year. We are exhausted and are off for a bit to recharge. This passing for normal stuff is hard, sending love to you all.

Chloe's back! We talk about the end of the school year and formal for all of you that remember the dress drama that started so many months ago. Chloe talks about trying to have fun and how much more complicated everything is without her sister her. As invisible as the grief for a mother can be, siblings seem to be even more forgotten. So Chloe wanted to share her experience to encourage others out...

In this weeks episode we discuss a encounters with the neighbors that could have been normal but were anything but that and why Colleen is not aggressively decorating the front yard for Christmas. We also discuss just how hard the holidays are and how our current best strategy is to try and escape.

In this episode Jared and Colleen discuss the importance of routine and how they continue to rely on it as a tool in coping with grief. Trigger warning, we talk about how something as simple as making coffee helped Jared on the day that Claire passed. We also discuss the recent news that has devastated the Rett community, of a child passing away due to complications within a clinical trial for gen...

As promised, in this episode we discuss our 25th wedding anniversary, but not in a typical format. Since Colleen just got a new workspace, we decided to discuss what we have learned over the years from all of our adventures in IKEA. And we have moved a lot. We hope you enjoy this lighter episode with perspectives of the full range of our life from young and newly married to exhausted parents to gr...

In this episode we discuss the October surprise that nobody was expecting, Colleen's sudden urge to celebrate Halloween, which is odd to observe from the Southern Hemisphere. We talk about how hard it is to get to a place of celebration in light of grief and how different it is to suddenly have the capacity.

In this episode we discuss how awkward October is, between Rett Syndrome awareness in our new world where nobody knows about it, the anniversary of the diagnosis and Claire's birthday. Jared and Colleen share their separate strategies for dealing with the birthday and when to tell new people about Claire.

October is Rett Syndrome awareness month so we dedicated this episode to things to be aware of, in regards to Rett syndrome, particularly what you CAN do to make it better.

First and foremost, we talk about the 9th World Rett Syndrome Congress. Very exciting! Sept. 14 is R U OK day in Australia, an effort lead by a suicide prevention group. We talk about why this is so important and how having a child with special needs doesn't exempt you from all the normal stuff in life.

In this episode we talk about how each of us uses social media differently and how complicated our relationships with it are. We also give a quick update/ follow up on Chloe's school.

Special guest Chloe wanted to come on and talk about how stressful school has been and how this is impacted by being an immigrant with a dead sister but nobody notices that. We also talk about how a love for accordions is getting her through and why Colleen irrationally went to great lengths to purchase a 90 year old German accordion.

After an eventful trip back to California, we are settled back into winter to talk about how the trip home was in reality after we discussed what we expected in the previous episode. Spoiler, we had a great trip. We also talk about how happy we are to be sad.

I know we said we were taking a break but surprise! We decided that we wanted to share something that was a little more raw while we are in the space to talk about it. In this episode we talk about some of the reasons that made the last place we lived with Claire really hard. In our typical lighthearted way, we discuss some very heavy topics closely related to Claire's death and how going back to...

In a special Friday evening episode, we discuss Chloe not needing us, how crazy winter in Australia is and the complicated feelings around social expectations of grieving parents. This will be our last episode until August. We are looking forward to a break and coming back with some fresh stories.