Off The Data Provided

In this latest episode of Off the Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard returns after a short break to explore adult friendships: how to form them, maintain them, and when to let them go. He revisits his friendship formula—investment, emotional closeness, trust, and support—and walks through the friendship life cycle from initial encounter to nascent and lasting friendships. Dr. Shepard shares real...

In this week's episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard responds to the New York Times essay " There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting Men," exploring the ideas of heteropessimism and the proposed shift toward hetero‑optimism. Dr. Shepard summarizes the essay's main arguments and places them in the larger context of social media narratives, the manosphere, and changing gender attitudes. The episode defines heter...

In this weeks episode, Dr. Shepard explores The Times of India piece, "The Quiet Grief of Adult Friendship," ( https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/civil-irony/the-quiet-grief-of-adult-friendship/ ) and examines why friendships often dissipate in adulthood. He introduces his concept of "amienship," discusses how social media and smartphones encourage voyeuristic, low-investment connections, a...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard explores the launching and post‑launching stages of the family life cycle and offers a practical framework for renegotiating relationships between grown children and their parents. Dr. Shepard reviews family communication patterns (consensual, pluralistic, protective, laissez‑faire) and explains how a boundary‑resetting conversation can move families from old...

In this week's episode of Off The Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard revisits Kat Vellos’s book "We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships" and explores why making and keeping friendships in adulthood is so hard right now. Dr. Shepard highlights the loneliness epidemic (quoting the former U.S. Surgeon General about its health impact) and how smartphones, social media,...

**Sorry for the delay, my hosting site was having technical issues for over a day** On this week's episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard examines a new Institute for Family Studies article that challenges the soulmate script and explains how social media, dating apps, and AI can distort expectations about romantic relationships ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/rethinking-the-one-how-the-soulmate-script-disto...

In this week's episode, Dr.  Marcus C. Shepard breaks down the Institute for Family Studies' 2025 survey ( https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/americas-demoralized-men-part-1 ) of over 2,000 young men (ages 18–29), exploring how definitions of adulthood are changing and how economic and educational shifts are reshaping life milestones. The episode covers major findings on how many young men delay t...

In this episide, Dr. Shepard examines a recent Institute for Family Studies/YouGov survey ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-one-role-gen-z-women-still-want-men-to-play ) of 18–29-year-olds about dating and gender roles. The episode summarizes key findings showing that most Gen Z men and women prefer egalitarian dating arrangements, which include sharing date costs and household responsibilities, wh...

In this latest episode, Dr. Shepard breaks down the Institute for Family Studies ' national survey of 5,275 unmarried young adults (ages 22–35) and shares what the data reveals about today’s dating landscape. The episode highlights key findings: 86% of young adults expect marriage but only about one-third are actively dating. Major barriers include finances, low self-confidence, and negative past...

On this episode, Dr. Shepard explores Dunbar’s Number, the idea that humans can meaningfully maintain about 150 social relationships. Drawing from Robin Dunbar’s book "How Many Friends Does One Person Need?," Dr. Shepard explains the social intelligence hypothesis that links neocortex size to social-group limits, breaks down the layered structure of relationships (from 3–5 closest friends to 1,500...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard breaks down three internet era relationship behaviors: ghosting, orbiting, and breadcrumbing through what they mean, why they’ve become common, and how they affect both romantic and platonic connections. Ghosting is the sudden withdrawal of communication without explanation; orbiting is staying digitally connected (likes, story views, occasional DMs) without r...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard walks through Sherry Turkle’s "Reclaiming Conversation" and explores how smartphones and social media shift us from deep, face-to-face conversations to mere, shallow connections. He highlights terms like fubbing, whole-person conversation, solitude, punctuation in texting, maximizers vs. satisficers, multitasking vs. unitasking, intellectual serendipity, and w...

Host Dr. Marcus C. Shepard discusses Jonathan Haidt’s book "The Anxious Generation" and how the shift from play-based to phone-based childhoods has reshaped Gen Z’s social skills and mental health. The episode covers key concepts including real-world versus virtual-world communication, conformity and prestige bias, discovery versus defend mode, safetyism, anti-fragility, and the four opportunity c...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard explains the family life cycle and the four core family communication patterns—consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire—focusing on conversation and conformity orientations and how they shape family dynamics. The episode ends with three practical tips for better family communication: reorienting relationships with restart conversations, managing words-thoughts-e...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard discusses a Wired article ( https://www.wired.com/story/ai-relationships-are-on-the-rise-a-divorce-boom-could-be-next/ ) on the rise of AI relationships and their growing impact on marriages, including legal disputes and financial secrecy tied to chatbot companions. He applies interpersonal communication concepts (investment, emotional closeness, trust, support) and Duck’s st...

This episode summarizes a Swedish longitudinal sibling-comparison study ( https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10680-024-09722-6 ) showing that cohabiting people have mortality risks between single and married individuals, with differences growing with age. Dr. Marcus C. Shepard discusses health benefits of partnership, implications for aging and COVID-19, and ideas for future research on co...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard reviews a new multi-country study reported by the Institute for Family Studies showing that couples who met in person report higher relationship satisfaction and stronger experiences of intimacy, passion, and commitment than couples who met online ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/couples-around-the-world-who-met-in-real-life-are-happier-than-those-who-met-online ). The episode di...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard explains how verbal communication creates meaning—covering symbols, arbitrariness, abstraction, ambiguity, brute vs. institutional facts, and how language evaluates and organizes experience. He outlines communication rules (regulative and constitutive), punctuation, totalizing, loaded language, and offers practical guidelines: use person-centered language, specify levels of a...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard explores nonverbal communication—what it includes, how it interacts with words, and types like kinesics, haptics, proxemics, paralanguage, and environmental cues—plus practical guidelines for monitoring and interpreting nonverbals to avoid miscommunication. The episode closes with an Ask Dr. Shepard segment about ghosting, offering a respectful “pre-ghosting”...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard examines the Institute for Family Studies article "The Sex Recession," ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-sex-recession-the-share-of-americans-having-regular-sex-keeps-dropping ) explaining how the share of Americans having regular sex has fallen from 55% in 1990 to 37% in 2024. The  decline is linked to fewer partnered adults, reduced face-to-face time, and shifting socializat...

Host Dr. Marcus C. Shepard breaks down what emotions are and how framing rules, feeling rules, surface acting, deep acting, emotional intelligence, and emotional competence shape the way we feel and express ourselves. He offers practical guidelines for owning feelings, using specific language, and creating a supportive climate for emotional conversations. The episode closes with an Ask Dr. Shepard...

In this episode of Off the Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard delves deep into the realm of modern friendships, exploring a compelling CNN article by Christian Rogers titled "Some of You Are Bad Friends, and That's Why You're Lonely" ( https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/02/health/signs-you-are-a-bad-friend-wellness )  The discussion touches on the increasing challenges men face in forming friendships,...

Join Dr. Marcus C. Shepard in an insightful episode of "Off the Data Provided" as we delve into the art of creating positive communication climates. Explore essential terms and concepts like confirmation and disconfirmation, defensive and supporting climates, and the role of conflict in communication. Discover valuable guidelines for nurturing healthy communication climates, ensuring your interact...

In this episode of "Off the Data Provided," host Dr. Marcus C. Shepard delves into the complexities of making, building, and maintaining friendships in adulthood. Exploring concepts like the seeds of connection and parasocial relationships, the discussion revisits key elements such as investment, emotional closeness, trust, support, and external pressures affecting modern friendships. With insight...

In this episode of Off the Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard dives into the intricate world of Celine Song's new film, "Materialist." Join us as we unravel the complexities of modern relationships through the lens of two love types: Eros and Pragma. Through engaging discussions, we explore the contrasts of romantic passion and the practicality of love. The conversation highlights how these dyna...