Movies with Ron

Once, the skies were dotted with them. Magnificent horned dildos and their hot-breathed wind. All hail Casiodorus Ron, dragonslayer! 

It's that time of year again, folks! There is no good. There is no evil. There is only Ron. 

Ron ain't too old for this $#!* so he recaps his favorite sequel from 1989 starring 5 Beers Gibson, Danny Backpounder, Robert & Mia's daughter, and a wadded-up ball of human waste named Joe Pesci. *Spoilers Ahead*

I love the smell of wasteland in the morning, and mutants too. This week, Ron recaps a cult favorite starring Roddy Piper as a man so virile, even the frogs can't get enough. 

Living for himself and answering to nobody, the mighty barbarian warrior, Ron, decides to recap 1983's favorite boob contest. 

Ron's back, in 3D, with 2 balls, and a recap of 1983's best horror film starring Anthony Anthony, Gene Quintano, $1.05, and a crapload of climbing gear! 

Everybody relax, Ron's here to look that big ole John Carpenter right in the brown eye and recap some pure 1986 magic: Dude, Where's My Truck? So sit tight, hold the fort, and remember what old Egg Shen says at a time like this, "Wasn't easy!"

Two men enter; one man recaps our favorite "death on foot" played by Mel Gibson, with Tina Turner hot on his tail in a gold phallus. So bring a diaper, a sax, and a gut full of fear. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Max Max Beyond Thunderdome is here! Recap starts at 00:10:30

It's a theatrical episode! Did you think Ron could go see the new Evil Dead and not tell us about it? So sit down, shut up, fuse with a couple family members, and let's do this!

This week, Ron wipes out most of life on Earth with his recap of a quintessential 80s favorite starring Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney, and Robert Beltran. Recap starts at 00:08:40

This week, he's not a "Ron," he's a witch! And the gang writes a proper love letter to Julian Sands with the help of a special mystery co-host... Recap starts at 00:09:20  

Things get real sticky this week when Ron recaps that one movie everyone saw on the shelf in the video rental store, and ain't no lamp oil gonna fix it. Recap starts at 00:12:00 *spoilers ahead*

This week, Ron's head finally opens up like a flower and spurts a spooky recap all over. You're gonna need a towel. Happy Halloween, folks! *major spoilers ahead*

...for God said unto Ron, "make a new recap," and he did, and it was pretty good!

This week's a "backwards dick" kinda week as Birthday Boy Ron does his absolute best to give Fred Ward a proper send-off without somehow recapping Tremors 2. *major spoilers ahead*

No guards. No walls. Endless dicks. Join us as Ron embarks on the greatest sausage-fest ever told. *major spoilers ahead*

Ron brings that good good 1980 stuff with Alligator: an Alopecian Story, starring Robert Forster, Robin Riker, and the biggest damn lhasa apso you ever saw. www.americanhairloss.org   *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Oh Mother Night, protect us in your big black embrace as we take on an 80s recap of epic proportions and attempt to answer the age old question: What is light without dildos? *major spoilers ahead*

You know something, Mean Gene, you don't have to remind me and my Ronmaniacs that Gremlins 2 is Joe Dante's true masterpiece, starring Haviland Morris, Tony Randall, and the lovable John Glover. You just have to ask yourself one question: What are you gonna do when the Ronster runs wild on YOU!?

Santa shakes his belly like a bowlful of jelly, watches his worst employee cheat on him with John Lithgow, then goes around the world with a homeless minor! Come unwrap this recap with Ron and the gang. Do you know how to say, "Yo?" *Major Spoilers Ahead*

In a special request episode, Ron's recap of this '80s straight-to-video gem starring Bo Hopkins and Wings Hauser will definitely have you questioning that next cup of coffee. *Major spoilers ahead*

Hold on to your milk because Movies with Ron will never be the same again. Our favorite recapper spews a 90's action flick starring Dolph Lundgren, Brandon Lee, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Vernee Watson, and Takayo "Do the thing" Fischer. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Ron (of empty crib and stillborn foal) makes the undoing of the cosmos sound pretty great in one of our favorite "man out of time" recaps starring Julian Sands, Richard E. Grant, and the beautiful Lori Singer. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Nurse Candy returns (!) just in time for a beloved 80s stinker starring James Le Gros, who plays a socially awkward bad-ass that leads his post-apocalyptic rollerskating team against an army of fascists, and all from a supporting role. Jason Patrick and Jamie Gertz are in it as well. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Hi. Ready to play? Yeah, me neither. Let's all just sit back, relax, and listen to undead soldiers running out of ammunition, because Ron's ready to whip out an 80s horror classic all over us.