Midlight Crisis

Jingle your bells, don your gay apparel, and get ready for a holly jolly good time as we depart from our regularly-scheduled Eragon content to bring you CHRISTMAS DRAGON LLC, the festive rom-com (with dragons!) you didn't know you were missing! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they pitch their feel-good holiday love story with with miscommunications aplenty, totally scientific dragon magic, and the...

Chapter 34 is lurking in the Unprecedentedshadows, ready to leap out of a hidden bramble on the back of a dragon! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the use of glottal stops in fantasy, the two different types of hemlock, and who is faster: a dragon or a vampire?

Welcome to the hut of Gertrude, the town healer, sit down and enjoy Chapter 33 with a side of poultice or whatever. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss draconic stamina, shark teeth, and the many potential horrors of chafing.

Freak out and hide in the woods to listen to Chapter 32, because some mysterious strangers are in town! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the implications of hexapods in fantasy literature, napping in the face of certain disaster, and whether dragons have thumbs.

Open up your Dragonology textbook and turn to Chapter 31 for a life history lesson! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they calculate dragon growth rates, discuss delayed embryonic development, and spiral into existential dread.

Pour yourself a cup of tea and get ready for story time with Brom! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss wing loading, how absolutely huge dragons can get, and the intricacies of dealing with animal dung.

Chapter 29 arrives in Carvahall to tell treasonous stories! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the secret history of Alagaësia, the fantasy patriarchy, and eggs (again, but longer).

Pull out your fantasy maps and join us in an exploration of Chapter 28! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how far Eragon lives from town, the teen perspective FROM the teen perspective, and E G G S.

Put that copy of Midnight Sun back on the shelf (or follow in Sam's footsteps and do, um, something else with it) and crack open our next read, because we've finally moved on to a new book! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they find their fantasy names, discuss the hottest new series of 2001, and accidentally find a vampire in a story that is absolutely NOT supposed to have one.

Chapter 26 races into your podcatcher at 69 m/s, bringing with it all the secrets of the mythical, mysterious Twilight vampire! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they review, summarize, and lock in the biological theories of the last 25 chapters to finally and definitively answer the question: But how does a Twilight vampire really work?

Chapter 25 takes a page out of Jasper's book and focuses on feeeeelings! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how their views on the Twilight franchise have changed, play a very fun guessing game, and pitch various ways to make Midnight Sun actually good!

Chapter 24 - the epilogue! - dresses up all fancy to either turn you into a vampire or go to prom. Could be either, really. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they celebrate the end of Midnight Sun, discuss unfortunate vampire hairstyles, and disparage Edward Cullen for one final time.

Chapter 23 crashes through your podcatcher to commit insurance fraud! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss vampire plastic surgery, Bella's apparent heart defect, and Renee's weird brain and choices.

Chapter 22 bites you on the hand and starts turning you into a vampire, oh no! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how much Edward sucks (literally) (like with his mouth), first aid treatments for vampire bites, and how holographic glitter is a complicated mystery.

Chapter 21 steals your car and drives dangerously into your podcatcher! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss grand theft auto, Grand Theft Auto V, and really just an awful lot about cars, actually.

Chapter 20 races straight into your podcatcher in a Jeep Wrangler! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss carnivorous flowers, how fast a vampire goes (but like, definitively this time), and some truly horrifying parasites.

Chapter 19 is here to hurt you in the most specific, heartbreaking way possible. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how to put a shredded vampire back together again, the tenuous connection between Henrietta Lacks and Twilight, and make hilarious vampiric conflations with various non-human social signals. 

Chapter 18 is cloaked in a magical mantle of boredom, but it's all a ruse! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the acoustic characteristics of vampire baseball, tracking (but fantasy style!), and old timey swears.

Chapter 17 hits a home run right into your podcatcher! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss, of course, vampire baseball, an actually plausible theory for the origination of venom in Twilight vampires, and Sophie's interrupting cat.

Chapter 16 is waiting for you in Carlisle's office, welcome, come on in. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Jasper's mood swings, body-snatching parasites, and how every cryptid is just vampires.

Episode 15 is ready to become your boyfriend and meet your parents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Twilight Expanded Universe, Bella's khaki skirt, and the things vampires might have in common with moths, jellyfish, and owls.    

Chapter 14 is strangely flattered by all the attention it's getting from its three stalkers fans this week. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discussion vampire evolution, the official Sam Swoon Scale, and get angry about pandemics, like, more than once.

Chapter 13 shines bright like a diamond (or a vampire) with Twilight's iconic meadow scene. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what mineral vampire skin is made of, the neuroscience of multitasking, and, to Hannah's delight, how Formula 1 relates to vampires.

Chapter 12 comes with not one, not two, but THREE chapters of Midnight Sun, and it's just kind of a lot. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss proper hiking clothes, vampire showers, and metamorphosis.

Chapter 11 is here to ask you your favourite colour, and your favourite sport, and your favourite book, and -- well, it's a lot. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they struggle to do simple math, discuss what Bella's favourite things say about her, and lament the realization that they're all Edward.