Midlife Maps

Traversing the Jungle of Perimenopause is treacherous for those experiencing its unrelenting effects. It's certainly full of cliffs and ravines and can be a difficult terrain to navigate. But what about those who live with a woman experiencing perimenopause? What is their experience of this jungle like? And how do they navigate it without becoming disconnected or even resentful of their partner an...

'In the end, there doesn't have to be anyone who understands you. There just has to be someone who wants to. ' So said Robert Brault. And in this Jungle of Romantic Love , isn't that what we're all looking for? Somewhere in this dense scrub, we hope there's someone making the effort to cut away thick foliage to get to us. To see us. To try to understand us. And being in midlife doesn't diminish ou...

In midlife, modern society can seem a lonelier place than the world that preceded it. In fact, studies have shown that between 30-40 percent of people around the world report being constantly lonely. In just the USA, over one-third of adults over 45 report feeling lonely. Our society, particularly the media, associates feelings of shame with being physically isolated, thus manipulating the meaning...

In midlife, we've inevitably lingered at the edge of the Jungle of Meaning , wondering if there's even any point in entering its domain. Some of us wonder about the meaning of life, whilst others assert that modern life just has no meaning. The trouble is that we have periods when we feel there's no meaning in what we're doing (perhaps in our studies, or workplace), or in our relationships (with a...

Ah, the Jungle of Social Media is an environment riddled with ravines and steep cliff faces. It's a terrain that can levitate between offering comfort, reassurance, and entertainment, to darker traits of sadism and malice. And it's a merciless jungle that doesn't go easy on those who fear unworthiness and endure panic in a desire for reassurance. But though this Jungle of Social Media is undoubted...

Ah, the Jungle of Decision-Making. One we step in to, then out of, then back in to... And of course, the more time we take to decide, the more anxious we become until eventually we freeze - a sense of overwhelm shutting down our ability to move forward. It's ironic that although the quality of our lives is predominantly composed of us making decisions relating to our work and relationships, we giv...

It's quite crowded in the Jungle of Unfulfilled Spending , and everyone seems to be wandering around aimlessly, looking for a way out. In this jungle, we find ourselves purchasing items we don't want or need - usually overspending - and sometimes unsure why we've even bought things! This can leave us with a myriad of unhelpful feelings including guilt, shame, or just plain annoyance. But if we per...

As we enter midlife, we find we also re-enter the Jungle of Friendships . A jungle in which we search for new, meaningful, and fulfilling friendships in midlife. But also a jungle in which we may feel an inexplicable urge to cull some folks we spend time with. What's going on? Well, no need to worry - we all come across this jungle and should push through it because studies show that having secure...

In midlife, it's very easy to find ourselves in the Jungle of Mediocrity : with our work, our relationships, with ourselves. And unfortunately, we can find ourselves burdened with feelings of resentment, inadequacy, or a general dissatisfaction with the way things are. But most of us want to leave this jungle with a legacy: a sense we've at least considered the meaning of our life and so made the...

Ah, the shapeshifting Jungle of Motivation, where first we're motivated, then we're not, then we are... It's a jungle awash with myths about its elements and how to navigate it. We'll face problems as we either try to get motivated or try to stay motivated - never mind that motivation changes depending on where we are in a project! But we should persevere with understanding motivation in midlife b...

Right now we find ourselves in the unpredictable Jungle of Self-esteem. Self-esteem is just another way of saying how well we like ourselves, and it's something that's influenced by various factors and can fluctuate. So, this means it can be managed and improved. But how? Well, as with most of life's jungles, this trek is an individual pursuit. But that doesn't mean there aren't tools available to...

The Jungle of Self-Knowledge is one all of us will journey through, but one in which some of us will spend less time than others. Ironically, despite spending extended periods with ourselves, we often lack self-awareness regarding our desires, feelings, and reactions. As a result, unless we're conscious of our patterns, we're doomed to continue reaping consequences without truly knowing why. So ho...

Many of us in midlife will find ourselves facing the absolute joy of becoming a grandparent for the first time. And whilst it's certainly a time for celebration and anticipation, it can also be a time of trepidation. So, how do we wrap our heads around this tremendous midlife change? Well, let's find a map to navigate that!

Many of us in midlife have experienced some form of age discrimination - either subtle or direct - reinforcing society's growing enamour with early success whilst simultaneously deriding late blooming as some kind of deficiency. But are there any strengths late bloomers bring to the table to achieve success, fulfillment, happiness, and health? Well, stay with us because we're going to come up with...

So, we've stumbled into this Jungle of Uncontrolled Emotions . We know this jungle will make us react in unexpected ways: we wonder if we should have calmed ourselves before exploding, or resisted polishing off the entire block of caramel chocolate. But self-control isn't just a fashionable tool in this jungle - it's vital to our success. People who are good at practicing self-control are more pop...

Studies have shown our mind actually spends about 50% of its time in the state of mind wandering. It's in this state that many areas of the brain quieten themselves to focus on output from the hippocampus - the area of the brain critical for memory and learning. But is daydreaming in midlife important? And if so, how do we do it effectively? Well, let's find a map to navigate that!

The Jungle of Imposter Syndrome seems to give us the pervading feeling that people like us could never achieve personal or professional success. And if we do, others will eventually expose us a fraud. Assuming any successes we have result from good luck, but failures are our fault makes it easier not to achieve anything of note. And keeps us stuck in this jungle. So, how do we find a way out? Well...

Our values guide every aspect of our lives; from what we think about, to what we do, to how we behave, to what type of work we do (or don't). They are, in fact, akin to a compass that gives us a sense of direction on how to spend our time, how to behave, and what decisions to make. And they encompass not only moral factors but also ideas about who we are and who we want to be. So they're definitel...

Ah, the Jungle of Anxiety . A jungle we seem to find ourselves visiting, with uncanny regularity, at around 3 in the morning. Just when it's dark outside and the sounds of night critters pervade the air, our anxious doubts bubble to the surface. It's unsettling. But we should push through this Jungle of Anxiety because what we're facing is a smokescreen hiding genuine worries. But how do we naviga...

Despite some people never encountering this Jungle of Kindness before hitting midlife, numerous studies have shown that it may be more a case of people not knowing how to show kindness rather than being inherently unkind. For instance, one study found that seventy-two percent of people will report a lost wallet containing a large sum of money. So, how can we show acts of kindness to others during...

Our beliefs are our feelings of certainty around what something means. They form the basis of the meanings we give to events that occur within both our individual lives and the world generally. They can either be resourceful or unresourceful: either moving us forward or, alternatively, holding us back and keeping us stuck. So, how do we replace these with more resourceful beliefs that support us i...

The Jungle of New Year’s Resolutions can easily make us feel bad about ourselves for not keeping our well-intentioned resolutions. Apparently, two-thirds of us give up within one month of committing to them! So, how can we decide upon personalised resolutions that are achievable and how can we sustain them? Well, let’s find a map to navigate that!

Most of us have been in a situation where we've either missed an opportunity to speak to someone we consider interesting or else said something we've later wished we hadn't. So, how do we confidently speak to anyone we want? Well, let's find a map to navigate that!

Most of us existing within our modern world have at some time entered the Jungle of Busyness; the jungle whereby no matter what we do or how hard we try, we can't seem to successfully leave. So, in midlife, how do we exit this jungle in such a way that personally suits us and makes our journey a little less chaotic? Well, let's find a map to navigate that!