Mending Fences

Divorce transforms relationships, requiring former spouses to reinvent themselves as effective co-parents. In this thoughtful exploration of post-divorce parenting, Patrice Brymner and Jen Hawthorne Kelsey unpack the critical elements of creating sustainable parenting arrangements that truly serve the changing needs of children and parents. What makes a "good enough" parenting plan? Rath...

Conflict is more than just a hurdle—it's an opportunity for transformation. Patrice and Jen explore how to harness the inherent the chaos of change toward personal and relational growth.  Discover the power of reframing your focus and understanding what truly makes you feel secure amid instability. From discussing the emotional rollercoaster of conflict to offering strategies for open communi...

Join us on Mending Fences as we talk to Attorney William Hickey, a seasoned family law litigator from Massachusetts. Together, we untangle the often-confusing world of divorce, focusing on the distinctions between mediation and litigation. Bill shares his expert insights on how he evaluates the suitability of mediation for his clients, highlighting crucial factors like the intricacy of the issues...

What happens when a conflict becomes bigger than any of the involved interests? Jen Hawthorne Kelsey and Patrice Brymner guide you through the maze of contentious standoffs to the calmer side, where interest-based dialogue fosters understanding and peace.  As they reflect on the art of conflict de-escalation on Mending Fences, listeners learn effective communication strategies that are more necess...

In this episode, Jen and Patrice explore couples' mediation with Dr. Susan Boardman. Unlike divorce mediation, couples' mediation is intended to strengthen relationship dynamics for couples who wish to remain married.  Susan's wisdom, drawn from years of experience, highlights mediation as an invaluable tool as a proactive strategy for enhancing dialogue and understanding between pa...

Discover the transformative power of words with our guest Karen Van Kooy in an episode that may reshape your approach to conflict resolution and legal negotiations. We engage in a dynamic dialogue, breaking down how subtle shifts in terminology can steer conversations from deadlock to collaboration. As we dissect the impact of word choice, from "proposal" to "settlement scenarios,&q...

Divorce and Family Mediator Daniele Ozeri joins Jen and Patrice to discuss strategies for mending the complex dynamics within families—be it the bond between parents and children or among adult siblings. Daniele explains the subtle nuances that differentiate family mediations from divorce mediations, emphasizing the importance of cultivating understanding and empathy. Her approach, centered around...

So you thought mediation would be easy. Well, even amicable divorces can be stressful and participants may feel at times like they are lost in uncharted territory. That's exactly what Jen Hawthorne Kelsey and Patrice Brymner delve into in this episode of Mending Fences. As seasoned guides, family law mediators, and collaborative law attorneys, Jen and Patrice illuminate the complexities that...

Even in an otherwise amicable process, some conversations are very difficult. Patrice and Jen explore the challenge of reaching agreements in an environment where there's no 'supposed-to-happen.'  As seasoned mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys, Patrice and Jen aim to demystify the process and unravel complexities that often can leave divorcing spouses feeling lost or frus...

Join us as we unpack the essential roles, differences, and overlapping concepts of these legal representatives and how, with their assistance, successful conflict resolution is achievable.   We explain how attorneys in the "Settlement Counsel" role can work directly on their client's behalf to achieve an out-of court resolution, and how attorneys in "review Counsel" role c...

Join us as we journey through the delicate web of step-parenting with our guest, step-parenting coach Maria Natapov.  What does it truly mean to be a step-parent and how can you navigate this dynamic, emotion-filled terrain? Maria sheds light on these questions and provides pragmatic guidance to help you transform family uncertainty into harmonious co-parenting. We'll unpack the layers of cha...

Are you shying away from initiating those tough conversations? This episode is filled with practical wisdom and guidance that will empower you to start tough conversations with anyone.  Hosts Patrice Brymner and Jen Hawthorne dive into the nuances of understanding your own motives and goals, identifying the right people to participate in the conversation, and whether you might want to consider pro...

Is your dispute resolution stuck?  Is your divorce mediation stalled? Your collaborative divorce just not moving?  As your hosts for this episode of Mending Fences, Patrice Brymner and Jen Hawthorne, we’ll guide you on how to breathe new life into stalled conflict resolution processes. We’ll share practical advice, from introducing a lawyer to mediation to using a mediator as a shuttle between par...

Can collaborative divorce or divorce mediation address pressure, coercion, and power imbalances more effectively than litigation? Join us for a deep dive into these questions with collaborative divorce attorney and mediator, Karen Van Kooy.  We share  our experiences and insights, contrasting the stark differences in handling a court-based divorce versus a collaborative law or mediated approach. I...

Jen and Patrice each share three things to avoid in any difficult conversation.  At Mending Fences, we always encourage people to keep talking, but when should you stop talking?  Of course it makes sense to avoid blaming and defending, but how do you do it? Patrice and Jen talk through practical tips for productive communication in difficult situations.      

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Allyson Clemmons joins Jen and Patrice to discuss discernment counselling, a way for couples considering divorce to gain clarity about the direction of their marriage.  In this approach, couples engage in a limited number of individual sessions to gain a deeper understanding of what has happened in the relationship, as well as each spouse's contribution to that. ...

Jen and Patrice talk about how conflict resolution skills can improve communication in daily life. 

Dr. Gina Arons joins Patrice and Jen to talk about the vital role of the Collaborative Coach in the Collaborative Divorce process.    

Jen and Patrice highlight five factors that may impact whether mediation is a good fit for participants. 

Jen and Patrice each share their top three tips for better communication. Highlighting several effective approaches for any difficult conversation, Jen and Patrice talk through what works and why.

Jen and Patrice talk with their colleague, Beth Aarons, about her work as a trainer and adjunct law professor teaching Collaborative Law. Seasoned professionals, as well law students, undergo a profound shift in mindset in order to effectively participate as members of a Collaborative Law professional team. Collaborative Law professionals provide holistic, non-adversarial, interest-based dispute r...

Jen and Patrice talk with Attorney/Mediator Barbara Nason about a range of out of court divorce options, including mediation, attorney-assisted negotiation, and conciliation.  This conversation covers the benefits of dispute resolution and some of the pitfalls of litigation, including the time, money, and opportunities wasted when attorneys engage in fighting rather than problem solving.  After li...

FIRST IN A SERIES Jen and Patrice share the advice they give people who are considering mediation for a divorce process: what to look for, what to avoid, how to approach the early stages of a choosing a divorce process.        

Jen and Patrice talk about shifting parental duties post-divorce. What happens when both parents become the "default" or "primary" parent?  Co-parents can't plan for every parenting contingency, but good communication channels can make a huge difference in how the unexpected (and the expected) play out. Mediation and collaborative process provide effective means for parent...

The busy holiday season, schedule changes, illness or any unexpected event can create real strain for co-parents. Jen and Patrice discuss the importance of solid communication, patience, and flexibility when facing any co-parenting challenge.  This episode highlights 1) how building a foundation in mediation or collaborative process can really pay off when things don't go as planned, and 2) t...