Lumps & Humps - The Audio Files

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this is the story of how my breast cancer was found — starting with a routine annual mammogram I almost had every excuse to skip. Newly divorced, newly moved, newly insured, and finding all new doctors, I kept my mammogram appointment anyway. What followed was eleven weeks of callbacks, ultrasounds, biopsies, an MRI, and a phone call on a street corner in...

I’ve been a Washington football fan my whole life. Through three team names. A lot of losing. A few different cities. A few different men. One marriage. One divorce. Two cancers. Through moves across the country, bad boyfriends, a marriage, a divorce, and cancer, there has always been this. In this episode I trace a lifetime through football—from watching games in a basement as a kid, to 7am kicko...

What does it mean to be done with cancer treatment? A port check—one of many tests done following admittance to the ER after my last round of chemo—has me wondering whether I’m approaching the end of active treatment. And whether I’m ready for that. Along the way, I return to the same hospital room where this all began six months ago, think about everything that’s happened since, remember someone...

“Life gets better from here.” That’s what the nurse told me before I started my final six cycles of chemo—the "easier ones." I wrote it down. Almost had her initial it. She was wrong. One cycle in, I was in the emergency room with chest pressure, shortness of breath, and the worst chemo reaction I’ve had yet. In this episode: what happened, the few things I remember about the ER, and whe...

This week I found myself in a familiar spiral: checking, searching, obsessing, trying to figure it all out—until I ended up crying on my living room floor to my dog: “I don’t want to live like this anymore.” So, I made a decision. This is a story about the family disease of alcoholism, loss, playing the tape, asking for help, and trying to choose myself when I don't know where I'm going. A...

A theory that's never been clinically tested. A serious gap in the research.

Six weeks post-LAR, I’ve been doing everything I can to recover—so I can knocked down again. In this update: getting back to the gym, what my InBody scan says about the muscle I lost during treatment, some new nerve and shoulder weirdness, acupuncture, the current state of my post-LAR poop, and prepping for chemo 2.0. I’m starting six more cycles of 5FU and Leucovorin while continuing Herceptin, a...

A framed print asks the same question through a divorce, a broken-off affair, two cancer diagnoses, and the exam room where the numbers finally turn. "The Best That Could Happen?" follows the object that stayed hung on the wall through everything — moved once, replaced with a blank corkboard, and still somehow present the moment good news finally arrives. A story about the particular kin...

One year ago, on what would have been my eleventh wedding anniversary, I did my first cold plunge. I was going to do it once, for bragging rights. But I returned. In that water I started to learn how to sit with discomfort, stop fighting myself, and trust that I was safe—even when every part of me wanted out. Six months later, I would need that lesson more than I ever could have imagined.

Hospitals, superheroes, cancer, and more cancer.

How can I have been diagnosed with Stage III rectal cancer—but have Stage I pathology after surgery? In this episode, I explain the difference between clinical and post-treatment pathologic staging, what cT3N1M0 and ypT2N0 actually mean, and how both can be true at the same time.

What it showed, what's the plan, how I'm feeling.

One week after my Lower Anterior Resection (LAR) surgery, I'm home recovering. In this episode, I share what surgery was actually like: the da Vinci robot, waking up to learn I didn't need an ostomy, what they removed, the unexpected pain that turned out to be a surgical drain, and the incredible all-women surgical team that helped save my life. I also talk about my pathology report, my fi...

Three weeks. One surgery wrapped up. Another begins. In this update I talk about finishing breast reconstruction rehab, pausing Herceptin, chemo hair loss, hot flashes, my final preparations for tomorrow's low anterior resection (LAR), and the strange reality of standing on the edge of the biggest surgery and what may be the biggest milestone yet: once this part is over, there won't be a t...

What does it mean to reconstruct a body? And what does it mean to reconstruct a relationship with that body? After a mastectomy, a tattoo, a boudoir photoshoot, and a trip to Montana, I found myself learning how to touch, see, and inhabit my body in entirely new ways. This episode is about grief, beauty, sexuality, courage, and one quiet realization that changed how I see myself.

On Choice My plastic surgeon said something at my last post-op appointment that completely stopped me in my tracks: "If I see you again, it'll be by choice." After more than seven months of pathology reports, surgeries, chemotherapy, and appointments dictated by cancer, I realized I'd been handed something I hadn't had in a very long time: agency. This episode is about trauma...

My biggest surgery yet is just days away. In this episode, I share what a Lower Anterior Resection (LAR) is, why it scares me, and how I'm trying to balance preparation with surrender as I face another life-changing chapter of cancer treatment.

On strangers going through it, putting on a bra after reconstruction, salads, and adaptability.

On the eve of my first cancer surgery, I skip the Super Bowl and follow a quiet pull to hear a group of Buddhist monks on their Walk for Peace. The year before, after divorce, heartbreak, and a visit to the Garden of 1,000 Buddhas in Montana, one unexpected realization changes the way I think about purpose, love, and what it means to keep living.

This week: MRI news, a successful implant surgery, and a clear path to my next surgery on July 28. But behind the scenes: a positive Signatera result, unexpected stomach pain, and some of the hardest mental health days of this journey that have reminded me healing isn't linear—and that acceptance is something we have to practice over and over again.

The night before surgery, I learned a friend had died from an overdose. The next day, I woke up in recovery and was offered fentanyl and oxycodone for my pain. This is a story about a man who dedicated his life to helping others recover, the day I drove two hours to help him after a relapse, and why I believe addiction deserves the same compassion we so readily extend to illnesses like cancer.

In this update: a surprise return of rectal cancer symptoms, an emergency visit with my colorectal surgeon, and the MRI everyone seems to be waiting on. I share my first Herceptin-only infusion, the joys of hot flashes and possible chemo-induced menopause, pre-op appointments for my implant swap surgery, hair loss, acupuncture, and a question I can't stop asking: Why is the universe testing me...

A friend once suggested there’s a place even further left on the spectrum than surviving. I thought I understood what he meant. Then came divorce. Cancer. Chemotherapy. Grief. In this episode, I share what happened when my body finally stepped out of survival mode—and all the things I had been too busy surviving to feel came rushing in. Sometimes making it through the day is too much. Sometimes th...

Chemo set one, complete. Now it’s time for the next block. This episode is about surviving cancer one day at a time, breaking impossible things into manageable pieces, and borrowing a mindset from the human-performance world to stay psychologically afloat through dual-cancer treatment.

How do you tell people the worst news of your life? This episode is about cancer, crisis communications, spreadsheets, trauma, strategic messaging plans, and the strange things we cling to when our lives explode. Also: audience segmentation, Instagram rollout strategy, and why being a former communications professional turned out to be unexpectedly useful during a dual cancer diagnosis.