Lifewine Podcast

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It may be 5 o’clock somewhere, but here, it’s always Lifewine Standard Time! Join us as we discuss DYING TO BELONG (1997), starring Hilary Swank, Sarah Chalke, Jenna von Oÿ, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Much like the stinky dried flowers and spices sitting on the back of Grandma’s toilet bowl, we promise to overpower even the most offensive attacks on your senses!  Support the show

This week, we celebrate the birthday of our own personal bad movie connoisseur, occasional guest host, and unfaltering ride-or-die bestie: Kris M! Kris has supported the show since the very beginning (if you’re looking for someone to blame), so we are honoring him with a movie that stars his favorite leading lady, Tara Reid. In DEVIL’S POND (2003), we learn that it’s never a good idea to marry som...

You’re traveling through another dimension; a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of morbid humor, irreverent commentary, and psychological dysfunction. Next stop: The Lifewine Zone! In THE PERFECT TEACHER (2010), starring Megan Park, David Charvet, and Boti Bliss, we disentangle our collective consciousness, intertwine parallel universes, and questio...

The Trinity needed to take a small break from their recording schedule, so this week we are sharing last month’s Patreon-only episode, FEAR STREET: Part One – 1994. We apologize for having to take a knee, but we’ll be resuming our regular schedule next week to bring you episode 87. Thanks for understanding, we love you! (and you’re fine)  We are so excited for scary movie season that we’re startin...

  For the next installment in our back-to-school compendium, we present 10 YEAR REUNION (2016) starring Kacey Clarke, Kayla Ewell, Jillian Nelson, and Anya Engel-Adams. After five high school besties create their pre-graduation time capsule, the one who holds the only key mysteriously dies. A decade later at their reunion, one of the friends sets out to unearth each other’s secrets, only to learn...

You think the United States’ justice system is warped? Italy says, “Hold my chianti!” In AMANDA KNOX: MURDER ON TRIAL IN ITALY (2011), starring Hayden Panettiere, Marcia Gay Harden, and Vincent Riotta, we meet an American exchange student who finds herself the indagato principale in a sloppily handled murder case. We get melancholy at life, angry at wrongful convictions, and we desperately try not...

What better way to celebrate back-to-school season than with an academic assassination? In DEAD ON CAMPUS (2014), starring Katelyn Tarver, Tamara Duarte, and Nicki Aycox, we learn the Greek life may not be that different from the Mafia. We’re reading how to bake designer drugs, writing our memoirs, and arithmeticking the gestation of elephants. Educate yourself the Lifewine way!    Support the sho...

In honor of the recent passing of a comedy and feminist icon, we bring you APPOINTMENT FOR A KILLING (1993), starring Markie Post, Corbin Bernsen, and Kelsey Grammer. Lifetime meets Dateline in a St. Louis Steak & Ale as we talk killer dentists, fabric softener fetishes, and the horrifying concept of ever-recessing eye sockets.  Support the show

Imagine an alternate universe where Uncle Jesse leaves Full House, moves to Vermont, starts banging all the hottest ladies in town, then becomes the primary suspect in a murder case. In SECRETS OF EDEN (2012), starring John Stamos, Sonya Salomaa, and Anna Gunn, we learn that not even decent talent can save a train wreck!   Support the show

This week, we delve into a veritable trope-o-copia of overacting, confusing relationships, and muddled motivations…but enough about your Lifewine hosts! Join us as we descend into A DANGEROUS DATE (2018), starring Jillian Murray, Brianna Joy Chomer, and David Chokachi. There is so much to love about this film that we almost had to make it a two-parter! Plus: Foreplay names, Rachel is a muse, and w...

Fact: In the Lifetime Movie Network universe, the 1990’s didn’t end until the late 2000’s. Proof: A LOVER’S REVENGE (2005), starring Alexandra Paul, William Moses, and Gary Hudson. A psychopath with too many names blames his battered wife’s unexpected death on the local radio psychologist. Also, Stephanie still hasn’t seen The Wire, Rachel still hates Quentin Tarantino, and Zach blames his intesti...

In honor of Lifetime Movie Network’s 31st anniversary (and Lifewine’s two-year anniversary as a podcast!) we’re discussing the very FIRST Lifetime movie: MEMORIES OF MURDER (1990), starring Nancy Allen, Robin Thomas, and Vanity. This inaugural effort has no lack of our favorite tropes, confusing character motivations, or remarkably conspicuous late-80’s fashion choices. Don’t forget to remember to...

Finally, the Trinity has been reunited in the studio! To commemorate this momentous event, we’re discussing “The One That Shall Not Be Named”, aka DEATH OF A CHEERLEADER (1994), starring Tori Spelling and Kellie Martin. Many false starts and stumbles have led to this episode, so we hope you have as much fun listening to it as we did recording it for you. We even talk about the movie occasionally!...

This week, Stephanie and Rachel’s childhood PTSD is triggered as they examine LETHAL SOCCER MOM (2018), starring Sarah Grey, Christina Cox, and Tanya Clarke. Some parents will stop at nothing to ensure their child is the very best at what she’s being forced to do! We  ask movies to stop showing vomit, discuss a fascinating phenomenon that causes one to permanently lose their talent overnight, and...

The Lifewine crew has been reunited (virtually)! Join us as we review Jodi Picoult's SALEM FALLS (2011), starring James Van Der Beek, Sarah Carter, and AJ Michalka. Small town secrets, witchcraft, and are we EVER going to talk about the semen??? Let the naked rituals commence!  Support the show

Even the Trinity needs a break now and then…so this week, we’re sharing our Patreon episode from March of this year, I CARE A LOT (2020), starring Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage, and Eiza Gonzalez. Sometimes art is provocative, and sometimes it just pisses people off. When that happens, Lifewine will be there to bridge the gap! We’ll dive into the reasons behind the backlash while also unpacking th...

When this train wrecks, it POURS. This week, the part of Zach will be played by Rachel as two-thirds of the trinity gather to discuss THE BABYSITTER’S SEDUCTION (1996), starring Keri Russell, Stephen Collins, and Phylicia Rashad. Grab your favorite pair of killing gloves and sit back as we modem this episode directly over to your ear holes!    Support the show

This week, we encounter a film so atrocious that even its IMDB page has jumped ship! In DEADLY MISCONDUCT (2021), starring Anna Marie Dobbins, Louis Mandylor and Colt Prattes, we learn the true meaning of creative impropriety. More importantly, we create a new dramatic principle that would certainly make Chekhov proud (or offended, we aren’t sure which).    Support the show

Lifewine Podcast presents our greatest train wreck yet! Bestowed with a surprise scheduling misinterpretation, we shift gears mid-summary and even trade identities as we discuss ESCAPING DAD (2017), starring Sunny Mabrey, Trevor Donovan, and Jason Wiles. We Rock/Paper/Scissors our way through the Reverse Stapler and attempt to forget the Diamond Trifecta as we ring in Father’s Day early. Try as yo...

Do those who murder together, stay together? In THE PERFECT MARRIAGE (2006), starring Jamie Luner, William R. Moses, and James Wilder, we meet a woman whose love for her partner(s) is outmatched only by her love of ill-gotten gains. Stephanie hasn’t slept, Rachel takes over as “the clumsy one” on the show, and Zach’s brain chemistry is filling him with a rage that’s even more blinding than usual....

Just when you thought it was safe to listen to Lifewine…We’re kicking off the start of summer with DEEP BLUE NIGHTMARE (2020) - aka SHARK SEASON - starring Paige McGarvin, Juliana Destefano, and Michael Madsen. This film is a treasure, complete with CGI blood, incompetent military forces, and a kinder, gentler Mr. Blonde. We lose all the last name contests and learn that strokes can be contagious,...

What’s worse than one Rachel? MULTIPLE RACHELS! Join your hosts as they dissect THE RACHELS (2017), starring Caitlin Carver, Daniela Bobadilla, and Madison Iseman. Is it a darkly comical satire? Or does it fall into the same trope-y trench as so many other Lifetime movies? Also: Are there certain foods you avoid because they resemble human genitalia? We here at Lifewine are unequivocally here for...

This week, we mark an episode milestone with a film we’d anticipated to be sultry, erotic, and provocative: TEMPTED (2003), starring Virginia Madsen and Jason Momoa. We lose the paralegal account, but we DO get the go-ahead on “the project”! We also witness what is most certainly the demise of Stephanie’s sanity.   Support the show

This year for Mother’s Day, why don’t you give her the gift of REVENGE? In YOU KILLED MY MOTHER (2017), starring Carlena Britch, Ashley Jones, and Seamus Patterson, we meet a bad a** b**** whose goal is to dispense payback to those who failed to save her dying mother. We also make our case for who should be the new Jeopardy host, reminisce about the Scholastic Book Fair, and nearly enter a state o...