Intelligent Intoxication

In this episode, we unpack the quiet heaviness of apathy — that feeling of being flat, uninspired, or simply tired of caring. It’s not laziness or lack of motivation; it’s often your body and soul asking for rest. After decades of constant motion — raising kids, managing households, giving your all — apathy can surface when a major season ends. It’s the body’s way of saying, “I need to reset befor...

As our kids grow up and leave home, many parents find themselves reflecting on the past — replaying choices, wondering what they could have done differently, and questioning the paths they took.  In this episode, we explore the difference between guilt and regret — two emotions that often surface in the quiet of the empty nest, yet hold very different meanings and invitations. In This Episode, You...

In addition to struggling to redefine their identity/purpose and renegotiate their relationships and connections, empty-nesters may struggle to reimagine their new lifestyle and the structure of their days, weeks, and months.  They may feel: a loss of routine, structure, and a sense of accomplishment without daily parenting tasks. restlessness or boredom with too much unstructured time. temptation...

There are three common challenges for empty-nesters: Losing one’s identity or purpose Missing convenient, organic relationships/craving meaningful connections Struggling with a new lifestyle and daily structure Relationships can feel challenging for empty-nesters if they: experience marital/long-term partnership shifts—sometimes feeling like they’re living with a stranger now that it’s just the tw...

I’ve noticed these three common challenges for empty-nesters: Losing one’s identity or purpose Missing convenient, organic relationships/craving meaningful connections Struggling with a new lifestyle and daily structure Identity and purpose is challenging for empty-nesters if they: are feeling like they’ve lost their sense of self after decades of being “mom first.” don’t know what their gifts, pa...

When do you notice struggling to discern or communicate what you really need? Here are a few questions that might provide some much-needed clarity: Am I willing to give myself the permission to have and communicate my needs? Am I worried that I’ll burden someone else? If I weren’t afraid of being a burden, what might I actually ask for? Am I willing to give myself the same compassion I offer to ot...

What if you’ve yet to meet the version of you who will actually love and thrive in the empty  nest stage of your life? But you might be wondering - how do I meet that version? How do I get to know her? You begin by spending as much time as possible in the present moment. Ask yourself: Am I focusing on something that’s happening in the present moment? Is everything I’m experiencing right now figure...

It’s common for mothers of adult children to experience regret over having: worked outside of the home and missed time with their growing children left a career to stay home and raise children, thereby losing temporary or permanent professional traction We can either use regret as a catalyst to get curious about what we really value most and commit to creating that now, OR, we can stay stuck in di...

When we work from the “bottom up”, we clarify what we need to strengthen in our foundations in order to build a life that is sustainably enjoyable and satisfying.  As an empty-nester you may be tempted to fill your days, stay busy, or bring in tons of new things. But, I invite you to reflect on your last or current stage, and get curious regarding what activities, commitments, and relationships yo...

Confidence requires proof or evidence. Think of something you do really well and have evidence that you’re good at. You’re “confident” that you can do this thing well. Self-Confidence does NOT require evidence. It is the commitment to yourself that regardless of what happens or what someone else says or does, you will have your own back. We have our back by: Sleeping/resting Eating well/hydrating...

To champion and thrive in the empty nest stage, we must be willing to identify and prioritize the essential few activities, passions, and relationships that truly matter the most.  ““The way of the Essentialist means living by design, not by default. Instead of making choices reactively, the Essentialist deliberately distinguishes the vital few from the trivial many, eliminates the nonessentials,...

So often in dysfunctional families, the members cater to the most dysfunctional person in the group, allowing that individual to set the tone.  This can also occur in the workplace, friend circles, or in any group of people in which the members “walk on egg shells” to appease and/or prevent an emotionally immature reaction.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice investing yo...

We cannot delegate the determination of our value and worth to other people. It’s almost as if we’re acting like hourly employees in our relationships with others and people-pleasing them in order to be “paid” with admiration, validation, or respect.  We are the only ones who can determine our value and worth and create relationships that align with that value and worth.  As a life coach, I’ve det...

The difference between rest/playing doing impactful “work” is experiencing the fulfillment that only comes when we challenge ourselves to utilize our gifts and talents.  When we rest, we are prioritizing these types of rest: The 7 Types of Rest You Need When we “play”, are are engaging in these types of activities: Find Your Play Personality But, when we’re engaged in impactful, meaningful “work”,...

There are two emotions I encourage you to practice feeling regularly in order to embrace life in the empty-nest stage: acceptance and willingness.  When we feel acceptance, we are thinking something along the lines of: “I’m no longer going to argue with what is or what I need to do in order to thrive.” We are more likely to: step out of resistance and a tendency to complain allow ourselves to feel...

We overcomplicate feeling “purposeful” as empty-nesters. The solution is pretty simple - identify your gifts (what comes so easily to you that you may disregard it), and learn how to apply your gifts to your passions (anything you’re curious about or drawn to).  We encounter resistance to living our passion when we lack the awareness of our passions and gifts, and or the willingness or ability to...

“Your self-concept is simply the collection of thoughts that you have about yourself. These thoughts make up your beliefs about you and who you are. Your self-concept determines how you feel and it determines the results that you get (or don’t get) for yourself.” Kristen Carder/Focused with Kristen Carder I encourage you to take about 5 minutes to complete the following exercise: Write down every...

“Freedom starts when you can identify the aggravation you’ve been accommodating for so long.” Danielle LaPorte When we’re “free”, we are intentional regarding how we invest our time, energy, and resources. When we’re “accodomating”, we’re buffering difficult emotions with unhelpful habits and choices.  I invite you to consider these questions: Where in your life do things feel inflamed or monotono...

We all struggle with decision-making at times, whether it’s packing for a trip, deciding what to spend money on, or what to change or shift in our lives.  Sometimes, decision-making can feel overwhelming, and even unsafe. Here are a few questions for your consideration: What narratives play in your mind surrounding decisions? (ie: “If you make the wrong decision, the consequences will be irreparab...

We all tend to overcomplicate choices and decisions. But when we embrace the “just choose” mindset, we practice choosing BEFORE we have clarity or despite the fact that our choices may be imperfect.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice not “just choosing” in your life? What clarity are you trying to find before you choose? What if clarity is only available during or after,...

As mothers, we often resist asking for or receiving help because we don’t want to be a burden for others. Accepting help also frees us to work in our own Zone of Genius. You have the right to ask for and receive what feels like “help” to you.  Being in a state of hypervigilance can prevent us from asking for or receiving help. If we’ve experienced being let down by others, asking for help can feel...

Time Anxiety is a psychological condition characterized by a feeling of uneasiness, fear or dread related to the passage of time. It’s associated with the feeling of being rushed, stressed and anxious about not having enough time to accomplish goals, or effectively use one’s time.  Which of these symptoms are you experiencing: feeling rushed and stressed? fearing missing deadlines or being late? w...

As a mother, it’s common to forget what you find truly valuable or what really matters to you.  I invite you to consider to these questions: What activities, experiences, or relationships are genuinely valuable to you? What really matters to you? What doesn’t? How willing are you to prioritize what you find to be valuable? If you know you could use some support and encouragement as you clarify wha...

If you’re feeling unsatisfied, stuck, or unfulfilled in your empty nest stage, it’s likely because you’re trying to live the same life you shared with your children when they were home. Much as a full schedule fails to ensure fulfillment, staying stuck in the emptiness of a life stage that’s ended will not be satisfying. We must be willing to create a different life once our children grow up and m...

I invite you to reconsider the way that you measure your success as a parent with these indicators: Did you keep showing up even when it was challenging and you were “squirming” because you didn’t know “everything”? Did you offer your kids opportunities to find and develop their passions and interests? Did you make continuous progress as a parent because you were willing to keep trying new approac...