Halal Cartels

Triple-dem-ick!!!! Watching the Shining in Español Thanksgiving FIFA Dry Holiday in Qatar Sameer’s Friends love non-alcoholic beer Modern day slavery in the Gulf Gabe is buying random spices

We apologize about the audio on this thang, but the content is strong in this one. See you next week with cleaner and crisper audio. Today we talk about the National Security Agency vs Buzzfeed, the origin of the FBI and their campaign against the Flores Magon brothers, cops in gangs, arranged marriages, no Nut November, and embracing bachelorhood We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord&n...

How being polite will be your downfall. Punishers at comedy shows. Allergic reactions at languages schools.  Evangelical faith healers pray over Gabe.  Sameer's neighbor wants him to buy home made wine. We also roast the movie Top Gun: Maverick We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon  Twitter @halalcartels  MUSI...

We trot the globe from the Rogue Island Comedy Fest to the night clubs of Lagos Nigeria on this episode.  We also mention Midnight Mass, a variety of soups, haunted farmhouses in Portland Maine, Stephen King’s On Writing, CIA sponsored playgrounds in the Third World, Lagos as a libertarian free-market utopia, and more We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ ga...

Another banger for your ears and brains.   We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon  Twitter @halalcartels  MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher

It's an away-game episode. Gabe met Akau Jambo while he was performing a set at a coffee shop on the Lower East Side. Akau's is a riveting story, as the first English Language standup comedian coming out of South Sudan, the second youngest country in the world! Listen in as we talk about life in the refugee camps of Kenya, comedy in Uganda, and Akau's journey so far into becoming a global voice in...

The joys of the library app, misinformed by search engines cluttered with ads, biblical flooding in Pakistan, the Mandela Effect, the Nineties by Chuck Klosterman, landlines, microfiche, work/life balance, Industry- the TV series, and petty life hacks  We now have a Patreon : Join to enter our Discord   IG: @gabepac1    twitter:  @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon &nb...

We bring on guest and co-host of the WHY YOU MAD? Podcast, anthropologist/art historian, rabble-rouser Luisa Diez to talk about marriage, weddings, trads, the nuclear family scam, sex under socialism, and the return to the office. And we get a break down of what it means to be HALAL/CARTELS. This one is fuego  Follow Luisa https://twitter.com/luisadieznuts   We now have a Patreon :...

We tackle the big issues this time around. Allergies, Pets, the Tom Brown Jr. Tracking School, Samurai Bashing, UFOs, Climate Change, the Amish immune system, and space travel, Harvest of Empire, Gaddafi's drip, and more. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC...

Prey, Stand-Up Comedy in Paris, Ministry of the Future, the dangers of Door Dash, the limits of liberte, egalite, and fraternite, shoddy American construction, McMansions wastelands,  the rise of ecological protection by any means necessary, and we got MERCH coming. Holler for shirts and lighters. Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco  IG: @sameermon  twitter:...

Another fun episode with Gabe and Sameer. We cover the nightlife of Kviv, moving to Mexico City, the Rehearsal, medical interpreter training, and more. Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco  IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon   Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @eliz...

The boys are back together after a few weeks. We talk about Australians providing "authentic" Jamaica cuisine, the new Resident Evil, the Grand Tetons, the difference between grizzly bears and black bears, the return of the company town, antelopes, deer, comedy shows, and more. RIP James Caan. Go watch the movie Thief after you finish this pod. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG:&...

On this away-game episode, Eve Ellenbogen joins the conversation with some globetrotting stories about starting stand-up in Korea, traveling in the outback of Australia, getting stalked by thieving monkeys in India, and more.   We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1   twitter: @gabe_pacheco  IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sare...

On this away-game episode, Sameer is enjoying family time in an undisclosed location, near an Amish enclave. Guess which state! We've got guest John F O' Donnell, host of the Take Your Pill, Psychopath! podcast. He's a veteran NYC standup comedian, host of Live From Outerspace at Cobra Club on Fridays in Bushwick, and former correspondent for Redacted Tonight on RT USA.  Don't worry, we will...

Is Halal Cartels doing Ageism? Where can we get good Palestinian food in NYC? Does Ramallah have tech bros? What's it like to get into the West Bank? Was Jesús pro-seggs werkurs? What's life like under Israeli Occupation?s And more with Special Guest and co-host of the NO FLY LIST Atheer Yacoub We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord  IG: @gabepac1   twitter: &nbs...

The Boys, the new Predator trailer Prey, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Gabe's field trip on the John J. Harvey fireboat, the immigrant stories we tell our kids, the Argentinian crime movie, The Clan, the West German Red Army Faction, the dirty truth about pirates, and the Depp/Heard court cast. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter...

We talk about Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton gun fight statues, SoJo Spa, heatwaves, the slow-motion unraveling of the United States, office politics, terrible managers, the emotional con of linking work with passion, Elon Musk as bad boss, cargo cults, Critical Race Theory is real and Gabe is Brainwashing your kids, Wong Kim Ark and the Supreme Court Case that gave us birthright citizenship, a...

Stockpiling goods, summer time drips in NYC, traffic stops by cops, Eric Adams juking the stats, Monkey Pox, the war on White Comedians, We Own the City, and more!!! We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @...

It's an away game episode with Gabe Pacheco interviewing long time friend Natasha Jones about entering culinary school during the Pandemic.  What did the last two years expose about higher ed and education in general? We discuss the benefits of remote learning, the challenges of masking, the perils of dorm life and more. Are schools looking out for their students or their bottom lines? We now have...

We are back! Today we discuss the Baby Formula shortage, CIA torture queen-turned beauty blogger Alfreda Scheuer, Everything Everywhere All At Once, the relative failure of Sweden's "keep the country open" strategy, Our Father doc on Netflix, and Bitchin': the sound and fury of Rick James.  We now have a Patreon : Join to enter our Discord IG:  @gabepac1   twitter:   @gabe...

Another fun meditation on modern life.  We touch on hygiene in schools, Sameer opening for Hasan Minhaj, the Coxsackie Virus,  Elon Musk buying twitter, Wynn Bruce's self-immolation, the kidnapping of Patty Hearst, the transgender leaders against the Spanish Empire in the colonial Philippines, and mercenaries, and more. We now have a Patreon : Join to enter our Discord IG:  @gabepac...

The boys are bringing Halal Cartels out of Hypersleep.  Gabe has Covid. Sameer is about to open for Hasan Minhaj.  The Lord giveth and He taketh.  We discuss Miami, variants, the Seaquarium, dolphins, Colombia, FARC, epidemiology, and more.  The Riddler was right. We now have a Patreon : Join to enter our Discord IG:  @gabepac1   twitter:   @gabe_pacheco IG:...

Today we talk about all things Puerto Rico, from the independence movement to statehood, Hurricane Maria, the Jones Act, and Utuado uprising of 1950 and more.  This episode is the tip of the iceberg. So much was left unsaid, but it's a start. Guest Suni Reyes IG: @suni_rays   twitter: @SuniReyes We now have a Patreon : Join to enter our Discord IG:  @gabepac1   twitte...

Tiger attacks in India, CIA tomfoolery in Afghanistan and Pakistan sparks a health crisis, who are the true oligarchs, and Madeleine Albright and Henry Kissinger prove you should never hire refugees to become your foreign policy experts. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN...

Buckle up for another episode of Halal Cartels. Today we talk about pole dancing and comedy, check the trailer for Skinja on Vimeo, review the The Batman, parasocial relationships, obsessed fans, Elizabeth Holmes, selective empathy, and more. Gabe is proudly a Whataboutist. And we talk about Ukraine, austerity, globalization, and ask the question, what were your relatives doing during WW2?  W...