Halal Cartels

Halal Cartels

Society EN ↓ 104 episodes

Halal Cartels Global hot takes from a couple local brown guys living in the center of a sundowning empire.hosted byGabe PachecoSameer Naseem, And just like the Wu, we do it for the childrenIG: @gabepac1IG: @sameermonContact: Halalcartels@gmail.comtwitter: @halalcartels https://www.patreon.com/HalalcartelsIntro Music by SAREEN @sareenpatel @Brownprivilege

Author

Halal Cartels

Category

Society

Podcast website

www.patreon.com

Latest episode

May 8, 2026

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Episodes

Yeah our May Day episode is late but so is the rent 08.05.2026

A little dive into current events, politics, military technology, and culture, featuring insights on May Day, worker solidarity, military industrial complex, and the influence of culture on politics. 00:00 Introduction and May Day Reflections 02:35 The State of Comedy Post-Pandemic 05:23 The Rise of Clip Comedy and Social Media Influence 08:16 Personal Updates and Artistic Community 11:00 Economic...

Match Stick Mario Bros and The Power of Direct Action in a Disconnected World 28.04.2026

Chatting about recent global events, the realities of Cuba, the impact of sanctions, and the importance of community action and direct protest. This episode offers insights into international solidarity, economic systems, and grassroots activism. Chapters 00:00 Welcome to Halal Cartels 01:46 Direct Action and Involvement 02:06 Cuba: A Journey of Solidarity 05:57 Challenges of the Blockade 09:02 Cu...

Veteran's Day USA, Homegrown Zetas at Fort Bragg, and Skyscapers to Nowhere Boomerang Time 12.11.2025

What's up with holiday travel in the times of crumbling infrastructure, climate change, and government disfunction. Let's become passport bros and move to Mexico. How did suppressing the Zapatistas lead to the Zetas. Are the Fort Bragg military personnel our homegrown drug trafficking Zetas? The rise of surveillance technology, and the implications of the AI bubble on the economy seem inevitable....

Istanbul's international airport is like a casino you can't leave and we go to South Africa to see if there is a White Genocide happening 21.08.2025

Recent travel experiences adventures in France, Istanbul, and South Africa. We gain new cultural insights, the uniqueness of various museums, and the contrasts between different cities. We talk about Istanbul, Cape Town, and Soweto. Throughout, they reflect on the importance of understanding different cultures and the shared humanity that transcends borders.   While the rest of the world is descen...

The borders are in your mind, soak up the culture, live life like a traveler w/Courtney Fearrington 18.07.2025

We talk art exhibits in NYC, Black Listed at New York Historical, Black Dandies at the Met, the Khajistan Archive exhibit at the Sculpture Center. Discussion topics also include the Red Scare, traveling across the USA in an RV, life in the marines and more. With special guest, comedian Courtney Fearrington. He's a divorced ex-marine with a live show Thug Passion recreating staged reading of classi...

Put Bezos, Diddy, and Oprah in Alligator Alcatraz and a realistic remake of the Truman Show where the FBI radicalize kids in mosques 05.07.2025

Jeff Bezos has an extravagant wedding in Venice. The laws keep changing but good and evil stay the same. The police state is booming. Geo Corp and Core Civic need to find new ways to keep putting bodies in their prison cots. Is philanthropy any good? It's a freewheelin' episode today. Enjoy your July 5th

Inner Space: Acts of Service, Bi-Polar Disorder, and Manic Tales w/ John F O’Donnell 09.06.2025

We are joined by John F. O’Donnell to talk about living with mental illness. We talk about bi-polar disorder, acts of service, Pee-Wee Herman, 3rd Wave Alternative Comedy, Tulsi Gabbard, self-care, and his new one-man show American Psychosis: A Bi Polar Comedy at Baker Falls http://jfodlovesyou.com Rate, review, subscribe, share Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Halalcartels

An Ex-Gangster for Capitalism, a Former Guerilla for Peace,and a T-1000 walk into a bar 03.06.2025

In this episode, we chopped it up talking about Gabe’s folks visiting town, the Lower East Side and Alphabet City, and Zohran's campaign. We touch on the legacy of war hero, gangster for Capitalism, and later-pacifist Smedley Butler. We talk about the new documentary on Gustavo Petro's election in Colombia, “Petro”. We also delve into the implications of automation and AI in warfare, drawing paral...

2+2=5? w/ Luisa Diez 24.05.2025

In another Why You Mad/Halal Cartels crossover, Luisa and Gabe Pacheco discuss a recent trip to Havana, Cuba, a vibrant, complex, society full of public life and community engagement. Topics include disinformation, tourist art & cultural exchange, code switching with locals, lying & propaganda, consumerism & interpersonal relationships, and the shared (but distinct) disillusionment pre...

Holiday in Cuba! Alternative Realities and Possible Futures 20.05.2025

Experiences and observations from a recent trip to Cuba, discussing the etiquette of air travel, cultural differences, and the unique societal structure of Cuba. Contrasting the experiences of tourists with those of locals, highlighting issues such as food deserts and health in both Cuba and the US. In this conversation, we explore the rich cultural tapestry of Cuba, focusing on communal living, g...

NYC is a Ghost Town, Zohran for Mayor, and Tankies saved Cambodia: With Davidson Boswell 03.05.2025

In this episode, Davidson Boswell joins the hosts to discuss a range of topics including urban planning, the impact of American politics on tourism, and the increasing paranoia surrounding surveillance in modern America. The conversation delves into economic predictions, the flaws of the immigration system, and the legacy of cultural icons who have faced deportation. They also explore the misuse o...

Creepy Crawling Apocalypse with a Sam Jackson Voice Over While We Put the Chipotle on Layaway 25.03.2025

In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer explore various themes ranging from the experiences of comedians on the road to the societal implications of modern consumerism and entertainment. They discuss the irony of living in a world where basic needs like clean water are compromised, while simultaneously, people prioritize extravagant experiences like mega concerts. The conversation also touches on mo...

Green Card Deportation to a WeWork Detention Center in Damascus 11.03.2025

In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer explore the intersection of passion, business, and ethical consumerism, reflecting on the rise and fall of WeWork and the implications of corporate control over the workforce. They discuss the illusion of choice in democracy, the impact of remote work, and the importance of food and water as fundamental human rights. The conversation also touches on the conseq...

French Connections, Oval Office Roasts, and Fly Coach with Parachutes 03.03.2025

In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer discuss the current state of the U.S. government, reflecting on the perceived dismantling of social safety nets and the implications of recent political changes. They delve into the impact of air travel safety, the effects of war on society, and the representation of conflict in media. The discussion also touches on the intersection of crime and politics, the...

Space Travel or Three Hermanas 25.02.2025

In this episode of Halal Cartels, hosts Sameer and Gabe engage in a lively discussion covering a range of topics from the launch of Gabe's new child-friendly historical podcast to the challenges of navigating the comedy scene in the age of social media. They delve into the implications of reduced public safety in national parks, critique the obsession with space travel, and explore the illusio...

Eating Credit Cards for the Microplastics and Watching the Superbowl for the Commercials 09.02.2025

Gladiator 2, microplastics, American diets, cinema critique, Nosferatu, community art, Pakistani catfish incident, media critique, journalism, global politics, grassroots activism. In this engaging conversation, Gabe and Sameer delve into various topics ranging from their disdain for the film Gladiator 2 to the implications of microplastics in American diets. They critique the narrative of Gladiat...

The US and France Are Having A Racism Contest! 23.09.2024

This episode features Mehdi Walker, a stand up comedian living in Paris, France. Ever want to know what it's like to be a comedian in Paris right now? How about a brief history lesson on how France conducted nuclear tests in Algeria and then had nuclear fallout waft back to France? We also talk about racism, the Olympics, colonialism and supporting diverse voices in comedy. If you like this ep...

Faking pregnancies and breakdancing like kangaroos for clout 13.08.2024

A prank pregnancy announcement to promote a comedy show. The Olympics and the controversies surrounding it, including France banning athletes from wearing hijabs and the unsanitary conditions of the swimming venue. Breakdancing and the subjective nature of rating art and dance, emphasizing the importance of style and interpretation. The discussion also touches on the unfair treatment of athletes b...

Marseille is better than Paris, Turkish Delights, and the Panopticon State 01.08.2024

It's a vibe. We brought the music back for this one. Israel's grapes of wrath, fun times in Turkey and Marseille. DO cop camera's help? Are Electric Vehicles going to save us? We should all have chicken coops in our apartments. join the patreon

Copa America, Argentina's Chainsaw Economics, and the Multipolarity Express with Davidson Boswell 16.07.2024

In this episode, Gabe Pacheco and Davidson Boswell discuss the Copa America, political situations in France, Argentina, and Colombia. They also touch on the history of political instability in Argentina, the impact of imperialism, and the complicated legacy of Pope Francis. The conversation covers various topics including multipolarity, the political climate in New Mexico, and upcoming events for...

Makruh Mukbang with Hanan Issa 12.07.2024

In this episode of Halal Cartels, Gabe, Sameer, and guest Hanan Issa discuss various topics, including the extreme heat in New York City, the recent political developments in France, the upcoming Olympics in Paris, and their experiences living in Astoria. Hanan also shares her journey as a comedian and her solo show called Halal Habibis. The conversation takes a humorous and light-hearted tone, wi...

Godzilla Minus One and Your Annual Father’s Day Work Noose 09.07.2024

In this conversation, Sameer and Gabe discuss various topics including the importance of context, the frozen identities of individuals, the impact of first impressions, the movie Godzilla Minus One, the experience of taking LSD, and the Fourth of July celebration on the National Mall. They also touch on the toxic products marketed to children, the use of psychedelics by Silicon Valley entrepreneur...

Happy 4th to the world from Guam to Gaza 04.07.2024

In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer discuss various topics including Independence Day, comedy shows, agent provocateurs, fake violence at protests, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Guantanamo Bay, police funding, reproductive rights, and the state of Detroit. They touch on themes of injustice, government manipulation, and the erosion of civil liberties. Detroit is often portrayed as a dystopian...

Give the Columbia kids cookies, learn about axolotls, and don't use Expedia 29.04.2024

The conversation revolves around the recent events at Columbia University and the broader implications of Ziontology and institutional control. The hosts discuss their experiences at Columbia, the encampments of activists, and the role of real estate moguls in the university. They also highlight the problematic behavior of Shai Davidai, an adjunct professor at Columbia, and the complicity of the u...

Sipping Yemeni Coffee at Sleep No More While My Wife is in Jail and Diddy is Free 01.04.2024

The conversation begins with an introduction and a discussion about the Yemen crisis. The hosts then provide personal updates on their lives. They talk about their experiences with archery and their participation in an experiential theater production. They also compare their experiences with immersive performances like Sleep No More. The conversation concludes with a discussion about Diddy and con...

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