Greetings! The Greeting Card Podcast

Squawking and Balking at you good-for-nothings all the way from Beef Tallow (Hallow), Michigan, where Jessica Stimps holds the Tallow Tiara high and the Beef Tallow Tambourines make light the burden of existence! Join Bobby, Dan, and True American Idiot Dusty White as they watch the moon glow and the sun show on such topics as The Balkanization of Western PA, giving credit to borrowed jokes (steal...

Here's an idea: Bobby, Dan, and returning guest/friend of the pod/ co-host of Take Us to the Pilot, JJ Focaraccio, embark to see a recut of the 1979 Tinto Brass erotic historical drama, Caligula, titled Caligula: The Ultimate Cut (2023). Imagine our high hopes and anticipations. Imagine those being dashed, and replaced with all types of bad stuff. Imagine that we couldn't be bothered with the friv...

Don't throw the baby out with the yogurt water, because this episode promises a well-maintained culture that you have to digest slowly to believe! Join Bobby, Dan, and everyone down at Uncle Termite's Card Barn as they make do with what they have, which includes Tub Parts, Twister vs. Predator, and sexy negative comments! Later, the lads rate and review a multi-dimensional card that reminds us tha...

Bobby's got a lot of zingers to go through on both his Cameo and OnlyHate request pile (and most of them involve Napoleon's Continental System), so let's blow through this once-again-long-winded episode description, shall we? Join Bobby, Dan, and Sylvia Plath, Patron Saint of Cleveland, as they wind down the hot summer nights with such topics as Cleveland.com, the death of the JustWink App, and Th...

There's nothing particularly steamy about this episode, but boy do we not stop alluding to the potential innuendos! Join Bobby, Dan, and special guest Mike Molinari as they hem and haw on throat-singing to newborns, aunt werewolves, and "juicy sentences". Later, the lads rate and review a tactile puppet card that may just be the the literary connection between John Steinbeck and Fern Gully! Does t...

From your Lips to Rover Cleveland's Mouth! Join resident paleontologist Bobby, resident Ursonologist Dan, and Bobby Anxiety (a third person, promise!) as they tear up the high seas talking about regional pronunciation troubles, bloodletting children at barbershops,  and the Blubbosphere! Later, the lads rate and review the Bobby/Maddie Greeting Card Onion of Chaos! Let's unpack their love story, i...

It's been 10 whole freakin' cards, and while Bobby and Dan are in sunny Maiorca, trying to patch up the ragged quilt that is their professional relationship with bubbly wine and even bubblier fish, the therapist did say that a return to the ole' Greeting Card Bazaar wouldn't hurt! May even help! So invite yourself a daughter-Mamet and join the lads as they discuss the writing closet, Hunk Fortuna,...

Happy Mother's Day in July! What really ages this episode is us talking about Red Lobster like those are still a thing!  Join Bobby, Dan, and Cheerleader Morgue heartthrob Kelp Cunnigan as they hack away at the humidity with more tree holidays, fast food slogans, and woke pemmican! Later, these lads rate and review a card that does nothing to clarify relationships with parents and what we inherit...

Cast your Stained Armstrongs to the wind, because we got a medium-height 5-pack of Mica-Lobe Ultras and also probably a card to to beat this early summer heat, whether yourt a country mouse or a suburb gerbil!  Join Bobby, Dan, and the demon Joesixpack as they keep cool with such topis as free stuff on the street, medicine to share, and the concept of owning those items that require spit collector...

We're whispering our way to victory, and not dying!  Join Bobby, Dan, and secret 3rd mic Dev Brindle (nee Brangle) as we become true heroes in a half shell over topics like: songs that will save us from Last of Us Monsters, PG Live 2024 (and our lack of invitation to it), and a tall glass of whiskey tequila on the rocks. Later, the lads rate and review a card that all at once is balm and irritant...

It's the best worst season for just about anything, so lighten your load and attempt to decongest your sinuses with the cornucopia of greetings we have in store! Join Bobby, Dan, and the entire team behind Ba'al Omelettes (from Nabisco) as we clear through the spring clutter with topics like not dressing properly, and being cool at one point. We don't make it to a third topic however, as dive righ...

Thanks to another totally not rigged election, Babs and Din get another 45 years as co-hosts of the podcast! So buckle up, because audio-wise, we got you over an egg-barrel! Join 49.99999% Bobby, 48.75% Dan, and 1.02% Hupp Dhips (write-in) as they scrim and shaw over topics like card stashes, the fun type of people at the grocery store that buy Ore Ida curly fries, and who gets Bobby's wisdom teet...

Valentine's Day may have been a little over a month ago now, but this episode fits squarely in the "Cringe Kitsch Timeless" category, so we're not taking any notes on tardiness! Besides, this is on-brand for us now.    Join Bobby, Dan, and new hero of the cards @mesaloca (wherever your are) as we pull on each others' heartstrings with such topics as money souvenirs, wolf festivals, and finding you...

Are all of YOUR dreams just your regular waking routine, except a little bit wackier? We hope that doesn't involve listening to this, as that would be cheating us somehow! Join Bubby Bobby, Can't Speak Dan, and all the Latter Day Dinos as they pass the time on subjects like Zoom Smell Technology, February holiday crowding, and whether or not Gen A is getting into grapefruit! Later, in celebration...

We're a month into the not-at-all blessed year of 2024, so while that new year smell is still pungent, lets merry up this in-between holiday time with some youth sports trauma-dumping, shall we?? Join Babysitter(Club) Bobby, Baby New Year Dan, and Lunch Lady DearHunter as we huddle over a heaping trash can fire fueled with Frieza's advent calendar, media about making snowmen come alive, Gigan, Gir...

Alright, yes, we're really riding on our non-existent reputation with the delay on this one, but trust me, once we get into the climate change talk you'll be grateful that we waited until the bleakness of early February to get this one to your hopeful ears!  Join Bobby, Dan, and Aunt Hairdresser Blendle as they make light the burden of the season with Pokemon parodies, Bad-Tameters, and a frank di...

Dan's inability to keep to a regular editing schedule is YOUR good fortune, ding-dongs! For we have every intention of keeping the Grog-Nogging,  Honda-Day spirit rolling, right to the end of January, the bleaker of the winter months (short of Bobby's birthday, of course)! Join Bobby, Dan, and Late Night Gumby as they go through such scary ghost stories and tales of such glories as nepo baby G.I....

We hear no boats come sailing in, except for the long-awaited H.M.S. Greetsgiving dingy, spewing forth with Hogsheads filled with greeting cards for one and all in this new year! Join Admiral Bobby, 2nd Mate Dan, and the entire cast of Caligula (aka our cabin crew) as we ring in the Greetsgiving with Roman Pilum and Lion Units, sad Irish upbringings, and a gentle-yet-constant reminder that episode...

Yes, okay, look, fine, it took us (and by us we mean Dan) a month to get one episode out, but what better way to completely forget about Thanksgiving and barrel straight through to the holiday season than with a little visit down to the Duluth of the podcast superhighway! Join DJ Bobby, D.J. Conroy, and special guest DJ/ friend of the pod/ very tall friend/co-host of Take Us to the Pilot JJ Focara...

Yes Yes it's Nov. 8th, but we're still stuck in the bouncy castle inside the haunted mansion that is Halloween merriment, so unless you got some kind of anti-haunting mechanism, or too much holy water, you best follow us three for one more scare of the season, lest you j'regret everything! Join "Still Spooky" O'Rourke, "Frog in Throat" Conroy, and returning guest Dara Silverman as they rattle thei...

You're Late! Grab yourself a Masters Degree Pepper, a PostDoc Sprite, and/or a VoTech Surge, because these slumber party mirror demons aren't going to summon themselves! Join Bobby, Dan, and special guest friend-ghost/ghost-friend Kate Fallon as they rattle the rafters with such topics as summoning demons at sleepovers, cats that are cuter than Hapsburgs, and a lot more talk about "One Hour Photo"...

Cancel that reservation to Catphish Dandy’s Hot Soup Parlor, because you have podcast episodes to listen to, no matter how late they are! No, you can't do both at once, Mom! Join Bobby, Dan, and chemistry teacher Mr Skalisky (the one who drinks his skittles) as they pass the ever-loving time away, on greeting card speakeasies, save the date etiquette, and coming up with a new, better name for X (S...

We gotta fill Bobby up with these blood packets before the Boyz Night starts, but I suppose we could fit in an Olde Fashioned Style greeting card judgement before the lukewarm pizza gets here! Join Bobby, Dan, and the Dijon Birthday Boy himself Jibblo as they make a mockery of their 50 hours of Greeting Card/Candy blabbering, novels that make you sad, and the Buffet-Springsteen crossover we will n...

Put down the Tony Hawk's Velvet Underground and join us as we revel in the fact that September is Nothing!® Join Bobby, Dan, and Admiral Target as yammer the cool days away on subjects like English orphan pickpockets, holidays that start too early, and ice cream that comes out of cars. Later, these Fall-forward fools rate and review a duo of cards that either should've been postcards, or remind yo...

Look, if you ingrates aren't going to listen to your BobbyFather, the least you can do is subscribe and leave a review on this episode that he spent all week making over a hot, microwaved microphone!  Join Bobby, Dan, and late night pancake friend Michael LaRamba as they avoid dead air with Sweeney Todd's bathing schedule, Catfish: The Musical, and bachelor party wetness (yeah sorry about that one...