Football Ramble

You’re fighting for your life in a World Cup knockout…. Spain are banging down the door and the pressure’s on… And you turn to unemployed 37-year-old, Axel Witsel. Yeah, cheers Belgium, thanks for coming. Pete, David and Luke bid farewell to our Belgian brethren after unfortunate injuries left them looking like Pete’s over 50’s vets side. We also roll out another Spanish inquisition and look ahead...

France had a beautiful day as they eased past Morocco to reach the semi-finals of the World Cup. Can anyone stop them? Pete, Luke and David reflect on last night’s football on today’s Ramble. Elsewhere, Dan Burn has been doing some big, beautiful backflips. Could owning sheep help teams win the World Cup? Plus, Luke and David question whether Pete really owns a chainsaw. Get your Football Ramble x...

With dozens of hours of sleep lost to the sheer chaos of the World Cup schedule over the past month, perhaps a one night break from the football wasn’t the worst thing in the world. And now we’re well rested, it seems like the ideal time to reflect on some of the joy, heartbreak, and downright bafflement the World Cup has offered us so far. Marcus, Luke & Vish are here to answer your World Cup...

Egypt were on the cusp of an era-defining result, but then… Argentina gonna Argentina. Marcus, Luke and Vish try to work out if the good guys won that outrageous match out in ATL or if THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT IS MASSIVELY RIGGED. In less goal-happy matters, Charlie lost out to the Chocolate Factory and so Switzerland’s quest to stink out the latter stages continues. Plus, some Mariah Carey-based min...

Cristiano Ronaldo is out of the World Cup! A lesson to everybody that we all get to a point in life where we simply become nothing more than a nuisance to everyone around us. Cristiano, it's time to call it a day old son. Marcus, Vish & Pete are here to dwell on the downfall of one of football's all-time great players. Plus, the frankly baffling situation that arose from Folarin Balogun's red...

The Azteca, one of football's mystic powers, has been conquered by Thomas Tuchel and his merry band of fine England men. Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish are here alongside their giddy aunts to relive last night’s action. It was a joyous evening where Jude Bellingham went full Zinedine Zidane and Harry Kane went full Darren Cann. Jump in, the water’s warm. Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here ....

After a long 40 years, England are heading back to the Azteca! Has anyone mentioned the altitude yet? On today’s preview show, Marcus and Vish are on hand to discuss team selection, game approach and little tumescence-assisting blue pills. Plus, we've got questions about the security measures around England’s hotel and gravitational time dilation in high-up places. Could Tommy Tuchel’s lads be fac...

Paraguay put in a generational display of housery in their loss to France last night. It was one for real anarchists to enjoy (aka Pete Donaldson). Marcus, Vish and Pete wonder whether France should be concerned at all after this game. We also say goodbye to our old friend Jesse Marsch after Canada's loss to Morocco. Plus, Donny brings a very special gift for the lads to enjoy. Get your Football R...

Cape Verde, take a bow gentlemen. The curtain falls on their first World Cup appearance, but take nothing away from them - they have been outstanding this tournament. So to give them the credit they truly deserve, on today's show we discuss a big fluffy dog wearing ear defenders in the stands. Pete tells Luke and David why he isn't convinced those ear defenders were actually covering that dog's ea...

For our collective sins, Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portugal bros have made it to the round of 16. Cheers Snicko. Luke tells Marcus and Pete why he simply cannot fathom the idea that Croatia's Igor Matanović touched the ball on its way to Joško Gvardiol. Plus, a much-needed update on Danny Murphy's cat, Pete shouts at Andy Brassell, and an in-depth analysis of streakers. Get your Football Ramble x...

DR Congo, you’ve been discharged thanks to Thomas Tuchel and Tony Baz’s beautiful England boys. But should we be worried about the performance? Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to discuss. Elsewhere, Belgium’s win over Senegal is a reminder not to fall asleep mid-match. Plus, we learn how England could keep the blood pumping at altitude against Mexico. Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here . Fi...

Marcus, Jim and Pete were live on YouTube to preview England's clash with the Good Doctor. But will it be just the medicine Thomas Tuchel and his men need for the knockouts? We discuss the right back situation as Reece James and Jarrell Quansah are sidelined, while there's plenty of debate about the situation on the flanks because as England fans we can simply never be content. Come join us for yo...

Graham Potter and his cowboy hat have been sent packing at the hands of the French. Pity for Potts, and for the rest of the teams in the tournament. Those boys in blue look frighteningly good. Marcus, Jim & Pete are here to heap their praise on that glorious French front line. Plus, Norway row on into the last 16, Mexico lie ahead for England, and Pete tells us why some ants can have a grandfa...

We’ve had our first major scalp! Julian Nagelsmann’s German slugs have been sent Heim at the hands of plucky old Paraguay. Pete, Luke and David are here to celebrate. Elsewhere, things get even worse for the Germans as their infamous guru is proved wrong after Morocco saw off the Netherlands. Plus, Brazil spoiled all the fun with that late goal to beat Japan. THE FOOTBALL RAMBLE X ADMIRAL HOME STR...

The knockouts are underway! And bloody hell let's hope it gets better from here. Marcus, Luke and Jim unpack what might be the worst game of the tournament so far between Canada and South Africa (sorry Canada). We do give Jesse Marsch and his men their dues and then do an in-depth analysis of every nation's World Cup music, because why not? Elsewhere, conspiracies continue to swirl around Algeria...

Marcus, Luke and Jim jump back on the pod for a big ol' easay after England's underwhelming meander / clinical, professional job (delete as you see fit). Still, at least Jude Bellingham proved he remains the absolute business! Elsewhere, Croatia qualified for the knockouts (because of course they did), that little Argentine wizard was at it again and Algeria & Austria abandoned any sort of gen...

Marcus and Jim were live on YouTube to look ahead to England's final game of the groups vs Panama! Get it done lads, because you'll never guess who we'll have if we finish second... They react to the completely surprising news that Reece James may be out for the rest of the World Cup. Who replaces him? And if Elliot Anderson is out, will Jordan Henderson make England history? Plus, we worry about...

Wouldn't you bloomin' believe it, Cape Verde have qualified for the knockouts! Delight for the Cape, but despair for Marcelo Bielsa's Uruguay who head home. Can we take one of their four stars away from them for that? Marcus, Pete & Jim are here to revel in the Cape Verdean joy. Plus, a Mexican fan sticks his head in a candyfloss machine and Channing Tatum pops up at the Norway match, because...

Pete, Jim and Luke - AKA your favourite barbershop trio - are here to celebrate a magical win for Ecuador, who beat already-qualified Germany even though they spent half the game getting kicked in the head. Elsewhere across a chaotic night of action: Sexy Hervé can’t right the Tunisian ship, Japan legend Keisuke Honda brings some unrivalled commentary gaffes and we establish a fair price for getti...

Oh, Scotland… Steve Clarke and his men have been doomed to a painful wait in third-place purgatory. Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim review where it all went wrong for Scotland against Brazil. Elsewhere, we share our thanks to the Ghanaian witch doctor, aka Nick Hewer, for lifting the curse he placed on Harry Kane. Plus, Mexico beat Czech Republic and Switzerland beat Canada. However, the lads explain...

Well, that was a tough watch. Queiroz-ball (and My Fizzy Aunt) was in full flow last night as England were forced to settle for a goalless draw with Ghana. Marcus, David & Pete try to bring us some positivity after that drab affair. Plus, Merlin the Mexican duck meets the president, Darren Fletcher makes a fool of himself (again) and a listener gets in touch with some breaking Flo Rida news. G...

England are back in action tonight! After putting those Croatian slugs to the sword, it's Ghana's turn to face the wrath of Tommy Tuchel's boys. Marcus and Luke are here (lamppost flag in hand) to preview the big one. What's England's best centre-back partnership? Is Declan Rice actually fit? And is it coincidental that Luke's very own Gosport is the hottest place in the UK today? Makes you think....

Lionel Messi, Kylian Mbappé and Erling Haaland all had their fill once again. Is Erling Haaland somehow underrated? Marcus, Luke and Jim battle with that idea on today’s Ramble. Elsewhere, Marcus and Luke disagree on whether Argentina will be able to deal with tougher tests later in the tournament. Plus, could Algeria and Austria both try and lose their final group game? Get your Ramble World Cup...

More superhero stuff from The Cape! Pete, Vish and Jim carnival into the studio off the back of another miraculous Cape Verde performance, which could help secure their passage to the next round. Yes, you read that right. Elsewhere, Spain dish out a particularly Spanish brand of gubbing, bucking our new theory that key Schengen Area protagonists continue to disappoint this World Cup. Plus: Egypt e...

When it comes to Germany, we’re not neutrals. But despite the disappointing ending, we enjoyed the spectacle of their 2-1 victory over Ivory Coast. Today, Marcus and Luke reflect on that, plus Spells (predictably) explains why Hervé Renard has improved Tunisia despite their panelling at the hands of Japan. Elsewhere, Curaçao get a famous point and the “naked” Guru’s prediction is looking a bit bet...