Feminist Wellness

#372: What if the reason rest feels so hard isn’t because you’re bad at it, but because your body has learned that rest is unsafe? What if slowing down doesn’t feel peaceful, but instead sparks anxiety, guilt, or that crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling? In this episode, I get into the real, practical side of rest, especially for those of us whose nervous systems have been shaped by emotional outsou...

Tenderoni Hotline #26: What happens when both people in a relationship are looking to each other for safety, reassurance, and a sense of “we’re okay”… but neither nervous system can consistently provide it? In this tender and honest episode, we explore the often unspoken dynamic of mutual emotional outsourcing, and why it can leave even the most loving relationships feeling intense, fragile, or st...

#371: Do you feel like you’re constantly running on empty, struggling to find space for rest while the world around you keeps demanding more? It’s a common experience, and it’s often the result of emotional outsourcing. But what if rest could be the key to reclaiming your energy, your values, and your connection to what matters most? In this episode, I'm diving into the concept of rest as an essen...

Tenderoni Hotline #25: Have you ever found yourself laughing when you’re actually scared, suddenly exhausted in the middle of anxiety, or walking away from a moment thinking you’re “fine” only to realize hours later that you were anything but? In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we’re diving into those paradoxical nervous system moments, the ones that feel confusing, mistimed, or just plain off, an...

#370: What does it actually take to stay engaged for the long haul when the world feels overwhelming and the crises keep coming? Showing up once is one thing, but sustaining care and action over months and years is an entirely different challenge. In this episode, I close out our series on how emotional outsourcing shapes our political engagement. We’ve talked about freeze, rage, and depletion. No...

Tenderoni Hotline #24: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re diving into two thoughtful questions about grief, empathy, and emotional boundaries, and what it means to care deeply w...

#369: Do you care deeply about what’s happening in the world, yet feel too exhausted to show up the way you wish you could? What if the problem isn’t that you don’t care enough, but that it’s time to reclaim your political energy? In this episode, I talk about the third pattern in this series: depletion. While some of us freeze and others burn hot with rage, many of us are simply running on empty...

Tenderoni Hotline #23: If you know you’re a people pleaser but cannot seem to stop, this episode is for you. In this Tenderoni Hotline, I answer two listener questions that go straight to the heart of emotional outsourcing and nervous system healing. First: “I know I’m a people pleaser. How do I stop?” We explore why people pleasing is not a personality flaw or lack of boundaries. It is a nervous...

#368: Are you the one who’s not frozen… but furious? The one whose rage erupts at the dinner table, at work, in organizing spaces, because you are done watching injustice slide by? What if your rage is valid, but not always effective? In this episode, I talk directly to the firebrands. I break down what happens in your nervous system when rage takes over, how sympathetic activation shuts down stra...

Tenderoni Hotline #22: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. Today’s episode holds two powerful questions. First, how do you use grounding and orienting when a space is not actually safe? What does nervous...

#367: Have you ever felt that deep yes in your body about speaking up, protesting, or naming injustice… and then frozen the moment someone showed disapproval? What if learning to unfreeze isn’t just about personal healing, but essential for collective liberation? In this episode, I explore how emotional outsourcing keeps us frozen when our values are calling us forward. I break down what happens i...

Tenderoni Hotline #21: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking a question that comes up all the time in somatic spaces, yoga classes, and Instagram infographics: Are emoti...

#366: Ever been certain someone was mad at you, disappointed in you, or about to leave you… only to find out you were completely wrong? What if that certainty wasn’t intuition at all, but projection? In this episode, I unpack projection through the lens of emotional outsourcing. I walk you through how your nervous system takes fear, shame, anger, or need and unconsciously assigns it to someone els...

Tenderoni Hotline #20: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today, I’m joined by the luminous and deeply grounded Rose Zealand, financial planner, death doula, and a radiant graduate of the Anchored program. In this powerful and heartfelt conversation, Rose shares her journey from emotional flashbacks, perfectionism, and the chronic belief that she was “broken”… to a place of...

#365: Have you ever noticed how often the word sorry slips out of your mouth before you’ve even decided whether you’ve done anything wrong? Sorry for asking. Sorry for taking up space. Sorry for having a feeling. Sorry for existing. If that reflex feels familiar, this episode is for you. This week, I explore why default sorry has nothing to do with politeness and everything to do with a nervous sy...

Tenderoni Hotline #19: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re moving through three questions that speak right to the heart of healing for emotionally outsourced humans: First: What...

#364: In this episode, I’m joined by Susan Klunder, a recent graduate of Anchored, my six-month coaching and somatics program. Susan shares her lived experience of moving from chronic people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional outsourcing into a life that feels grounded, joyful, and genuinely her own. We talk about what it was like before Anchored, when she had done years of therapy, coaching,...

Tenderoni Hotline #18: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tender Hotline, the soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most intimate and layered questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust. In this episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that so many emotionally outsourced folks grapple with: Do I have to fully...

#363: In this episode, I’m revisiting one of the most shared conversations on the show because it explains something so many people feel but can’t quite name: emotional outsourcing. Emotional outsourcing forms in early relationships, gets reinforced by family systems and culture, and persists even when you intellectually understand it. This pattern lives in the body, not just the mind, which is wh...

Tenderoni Hotline #17: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today, I’m joined by the brilliant and multi-passionate Busayo Ayodele, a lawyer, mother, writer, and radiant force of nature. Busayo is a graduate of the Anchored program, and in this deeply inspiring conversation, she shares her journey from emotional overwhelm, perfectionism, and constant overfunctioning... to sel...

#362: Have you ever thought, “I should be able to figure this out on my own”? Maybe it's about healing old patterns, setting boundaries, or finally stopping the people-pleasing that's exhausting you. Here's what I've learned after years of doing this work: That voice telling you to go it alone? It's not wisdom talking. It's the same pattern that taught you your needs were too much in the first pla...

Tenderoni Hotline #16: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline , our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re exploring questions that sit at the heart of healing work, especially for those of us socialized to over-function, peo...

#361: Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I don't have any real trauma, so why do I still struggle with people-pleasing?” Many people hear about emotional outsourcing and immediately disqualify themselves from the conversation because they didn't have what they consider a "bad enough" childhood. In this episode, I want to speak directly to those folks who recognize codependent, perfectionist,...

Tenderoni Hotline #15: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline . Today’s episode is tender, powerful, and so deeply human. It is a conversation about breaking free from people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits, and what it truly means to come home to yourself. I’m joined by the radiant Monica Silva, a nurse, artist, parent, and graduate of the Anchored program. In t...

#360: This week, I'm diving into something that came up with a client recently who said, “Listen, I want to stop emotional outsourcing, but there is a part of me that feels really scared. Because I've been doing this my whole life and I'm realizing I don't really know who I am without these habits.” And wow, does that make so much sense. Join me on this episode as I paint you a picture of what's a...