Evolutionary Men

In this episode, I explore the difference between temporary state experiences and permanent stage transformations, emphasizing that while retreats, workshops, and spiritual practices can provide powerful glimpses into new ways of being, the real work lies in integrating these experiences into daily life through consistent effort, community support, and structural changes that facilitate lasting gr...

In this episode, I delve into the unique pain of debt - be it financial, health, or emotional. I share my personal experiences with credit card debt, weight loss struggles, and tackling years of accumulated clutter to highlight a common thread: the pain and paralysis of facing overwhelming debts in various aspects of life. I explore the challenging journey of paying off these "debts," high...

In this episode, I am joined by Luke Adler as we discuss the raw, unfiltered reality of personal growth and shadow work. We pull back the curtain on our own ongoing struggles with maintaining sexual vitality, showing up for our families, and confronting shame in long-term relationships. We explore how neglecting our core energies can lead to disconnection and unfulfilling patterns. We also dive in...

In this episode, I tackle a critical mistake in personal development: setting ambitious goals without addressing our nervous system's state. I challenge the "mind over matter" approach, introducing the counterintuitive concept of regulate first and action will follow. By prioritizing nervous system regulation and fostering genuine connection, we create a foundation of safety that enabl...

Almost every man I work with struggles with either mental or emotional rumination throughout their life. In this episode, I explore 3 strategies to help you stop ruminating as a man. Get support in person at the  Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat . Get support virtually in a  Breakthrough Coaching Group.

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I delve into the nuanced discussion of why men often fear coming forward emotionally, especially in intimate relationships. We explore the idea that while there is a growing expectation for men to be more vulnerable and emotional, there can be a disconnect when men express their emotions and their partners don't respond as expected....

In this episode I break down the subtle but important difference between waiting for permission from the outside to take action, and the much deeper capacity to rest in consciousness until we get a clear signal inside ourselves that it's time to act.

This episode explores the concept of masculine leadership via creating shared reality. Shared reality involves mutual understanding and connection, minimizing conflict that arises from a lack of being on the same page. This leadership brings structure, clarity, and context to situations, making implicit things explicit and creating safety along the way.

In this episode, I further bust the lone wolf myth, highlighting how the "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality isn't all we think it to be, and why men grow best in a collective.

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow podcast series, Luke Adler and I talk about the habit of men using ejaculation for self-regulation, and how a powerful alternative is to step more into our experience via checking in with a men's group. Join the Heart of Shadow waitlist at heartofshadow.com

In this episode, I explore the important difference between integrity and congruence, and how crucially important it is to understand the distinction for nice guys.

This episode is short and sweet and about the important reframe of focusing on a better, not easier life, and how connection and community are the most powerful ingredients for that to happen.

In this episode, I chat with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Luke Adler about the common experience of men wanting to understand everything and how that's often a way to resist feeling. We go deep into how this can lead to staying in the realm of the mind and avoiding emotional connection. We explore the power of moving from the head to the heart and body to come into our full power as men.

Inspired by one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs, in this episode I talk about what it means to "Do the Evolution", and its significance in personal growth and development. Drawing from developmental theory, I explore what it means to "do the work" through the lens of subject-object relations and how our awareness evolves allowing us to "see" more and more and thus make diffe...

Every intimate relationship will cross a critical, often make-or-break threshold moment in which the two foundational components of polarity and intimacy invert. Tune in to this episode to learn about this important milestone, what often goes wrong, and what tools can support your relationship in thriving beyond this moment.

In this episode, I'm excited to welcome friend and healer David Romero to delve into the healing potentials of psychedelic medicines. David shares his fascinating journey from the military to yoga, mental health, and psychedelic healing. He shares the importance of developing a relationship with the medicines, how they aren't a magical cure-all, the power of mindset and setting when workin...

In this episode, I delve into the transformative power of shifting our mindset from 'moving away' to 'moving toward', a crucial pivot that can radically alter our lives. I shine a light on our common male tendency to dodge emotional discomfort and the profound healing that unfolds when we bravely face our feelings. I then explore the vital role of vision in guiding our life's t...

In this episode I explore a lesser-known aspect of the saying "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you" that can be particularly hard for men!

In this episode, I explore the significance of having a safe place to return to after facing setbacks or feelings of shame in life, and how the power of a men's group and community can be the key to moving beyond our shame by giving us a place to consciously come back to relationship.

In this episode, I'm once again joined by Luke Adler to explore the sense of hurt and disconnection that many men are experiencing today, and how having the courage to feel is the medicine we desperately need as men to drop below all the surface-level forces that try to pull us away from our discomfort, whether it be relationally, politically, cultural, or from dopamine overloads. This is one...

In this episode, I delve into the topics of purpose and passion, two crucial aspects of a man's life. Contrary to a lot of the talk in the world of men's work, finding our purpose is often a lot less straightforward than we think, and not always as simple as "do what you love" or "follow your passion". Whether you love what you do or are yearning for something more when it...

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I discuss the impact of shadow work on long-term relationships. We share our own experiences of how shadow work has transformed our marriages and how important the work has been to maintain vitality and prevent stagnation. We explore the need for personal responsibility and owning one's pain and wounding in order to avoid projecting...

Anger and aggression are NOT the same thing, and the most dangerous men are aggressive men who aren't aware of their anger.   In this episode I break down the all-important difference between anger and aggression, and talk about the three keys to embodying healthy anger in the world, and why our planet needs a whole lot more men doing it. Want a safe container to explore your anger in? Check o...

In this episode, my co-host Luke Adler and I talk about why us men can be so hard on themselves. We delve into the roots of this harshness and scrutinize its impact on overall health and happiness. Drawing from personal experiences and knowledge gained from our work with men, we provide viable strategies to navigate through the maze of self-criticism and work towards a healthier self-perception. W...

In this episode, I explore 'Nice Guy Syndrome', its origins, and how to overcome it. Using Dr. Gabor Mate's idea of two primary human needs: attachment and authenticity, I explore how men often suppress their authentic selves to secure attachment, leading to Nice Guy Syndrome. I then discuss how reclaiming authenticity is one of the most powerful uses of men's groups, and how doing...