ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

Das Programm lehrte sie, jeden heilenden Aspekt von Genesung, Einheit und Dienst anzunehmen. „Was ist mit dir passiert?“, fragte meine Großmutter. Ich war acht Jahre alt. Schweigen. Ich war von meinem Vater vergewaltigt worden. Er hatte mir gedroht, dass ich meine Mutter umbringen würde, wenn ich es ihr erzählte. Galt das auch für meine Großmutter?

Die Genesung zeigt ihm, welchen Schaden Fluchen und Sarkasmus bei anderen und bei ihm selbst anrichten. Ich hebe in den AS-Meetings meistens dann die Hand, wenn der Beitrag eines Mitglieds mehrere aufeinanderfolgende Fluchausdrücke enthält. Warum? Ich spüre und sehe den Schmerz des Sprechenden und wie sich dieser Schmerz auf die anderen im Raum überträgt.

Le rétablissement n'était pas quelque chose à observer en marge de la vie, mais plutôt à vivre.  Lorsque je suis arrivé dans la Fraternité, j'étais déconcerté et confus. Je n'avais aucune idée de comment me rétablir et certainement aucune expérience de rétablissement à partager. Je me suis donc simplement assis en réunion et j’ai absorbé les connaissances, les informations et, surtout, l'expérienc...

Il a appris à respecter certaines limites qui lui ont permis de s'exprimer en toute sécurité et d'écouter attentivement.  Il y a un temps pour parler et un temps pour écouter. J’ai dû réapprendre à parler et à écouter dans les réunions afin de rester au sein de la Fraternité et de continuer à travailler les Étapes. À mes débuts dans les réunions, j’étais impétueux et égocentrique. Mes témoignages,...

Le rétablissement lui montre les dégâts que les jurons et le sarcasme causent aux autres et à lui-même. Je lève le plus souvent la main lors des réunions de SA lorsqu’un membre, dans son témoignage, utilise des jurons à plusieurs reprises. Pourquoi ? Je ressens et je vois la douleur chez celui qui parle, et cette douleur se répercute sur les autres personnes présentes dans la salle. Quand j’entend...

In this edition, we will explore the world of the Three Legacies. What are the Steps, Traditons, and Concepts, and how do they promise recovery, unity, and service? While each legacy is different, all three are equally important for individuals, groups, and SA as a whole. Members will share their experience, strength, and hope, which aims to shed light on this theme.

SIP and TRADITION 11: Attraction or Promotion? A closer look at the Traditions helps groups and committees discern whether they are in the problem or the solution. SIP (Support for Institutions and Professionals) committee members sometimes get asked the question: Is SIP work attraction or promotion?

When he acts in God’s will, the world is forever changed. At the Mayflower Hotel, Bill feels the craving for a drink slowly rising in his mind. Without the slightest resistance, Bill gives in to the insane idea. He walks toward the hotel bar and orders a glass of gin—then another, and another. His allergy plays its final hand. A week later, Bill dies from alcohol poisoning.

The Traditions allow the Fellowship to exist in order to carry the message of recovery. The Twelve Traditions are the foundation of SA life, and deserve full attention. Without them, factions, personalities, outside interests, and money would easily destroy us. It is the Traditions, formed with much trial and error by AA, and adapted for SA, which keep us safe from these pressures and free us to c...

He and his group could survive and thrive with the Traditions. The Twelve Traditions of SA are a vital adjunct to the Twelve Steps of SA. While the Twelve Steps help the individual sexaholic recover and enjoy life, the Twelve Traditions help SA groups survive and thrive. As my grand sponsor colorfully described it, “The Twelve Steps help prevent sexaholics from committing suicide, while the Twelve...

She learned that she is safe and protected within the boundaries of the Traditions and Concepts. I serve in an SA group and on an SA Trustee committee. I’ve learned that the Concepts and Traditions are boundaries that not only protect people from me but also protect me from people. These boundaries, the Traditions and Concepts, tell me where a group or person ends and where I begin. When I break o...

His “right of decision” comes with the responsibility to listen to God and others before deciding.  Concept 3: “To ensure effective leadership, we should endow each element of [SA’s] service structure, the General Delegate Assembly, and the Board of Trustees and its staffs and Committees with a traditional ‘Right of Decision‘” (Service Manual ch. 1 p. 3).

Calling out the myths in service helps her to identify what is true. My sponsors taught me that service is essential to my recovery and that I cannot completely work the Steps without it. Working together in service gives me a rare opportunity to put my program into action. Recovery is about healing relationships, and that occurs in the small everyday interactions. Recovery is in the small stuff.

Practicing recovery, unity, and service daily set her on a course to a fulfilling new life.   “Always look at the Three Legacies (recovery, unity, and service) to see how you are doing in your recovery. What are your weak spots? What are your strengths?” I learned this from an SA member six years ago when I began attending a mixed meeting. I have never forgotten it. 

The conviction that wrongdoers are very sick helps show their behavior is not personal.  Page 60 of the AA Big Book states that the first requirement (for Step Three) is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. I have seen this as the foundation for the decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God. I just recently came to see another huge significan...

She learned how the Traditions keep the group healthy and unified.  When I started my recovery journey, my original home group met seven days a week, and we studied a Tradition every Wednesday. As my sponsor recommended that I go to the meeting every day, regardless of the topic, I was always there. Some of the long-time members would speak about their experience, strength, and hope with whatever...

This series covers how vital each concept is for our world services to function.   The “Twelve Concepts for World Service” were written by Bill W. in 1962. Sexaholics Anonymous has adopted these concepts as guides for our service structure. The Twelve Concepts of Sexaholics Anonymous are presented here. The essays that follow are intended to expound upon these simple statements, based on the exper...

Through his program, God gave him the promises he never thought possible.  “Working my program” and staying committed to the SA fellowship fosters a stronger, more focused inner life for me. By working my SA program, I am developing the humility and maturity necessary to trudge the “Road of Happy Destiny” each day. As I experience each day of sobriety, I find the changes in my life very satisfying...

The following is an excerpt that was recently added to our SA Service Manual. “The three legacies of Sexaholics Anonymous are Recovery, Unity, and Service. These legacies are the basic foundation of our fellowship. The Twelve Steps of SA are our suggested path to Recovery. The Twelve Traditions of SA are the suggested path to Unity within the fellowship. The Twelve Concepts of SA are the suggested...

These concepts keep committees on task while protecting them from personalities.  Concept 10: Every service responsibility should be matched by an equal service authority, with scope of such authority well defined. (Step Into Action 214) A committee’s responsibility is stated in its mission statement. It’s easy to forget our purpose and carry on the way business is done in the corporate world. 

(Instrumental Break) Hope, live in hope, Surrender, ask for help, let it go Hope, live in hope, Surrender, ask for help, let it go   I’ll make a call, I’ll say a prayer. I’ll ask for help and leave lust there. Hope, live in hope, Surrender, ask for help, let it go   Serve the meeting, be the Chair. Serve the coffee, make a share. Hope, live in hope, Surrender, ask for help, let it go   Read the bo...

Being rid of anger through the Steps allowed him to experience peace and hope. Although I was sober, serenity seemed to elude me in my SA recovery. It wasn’t until I wrote my Step Four inventory that I discovered why: I was still an angry person. I had surrendered my desire to lust, but I was still waging a war of anger against my spouse, my coworkers, my friends, and anyone who didn’t see things...

A need to step forward and serve with integrity led to the creation of a spiritual bridge between the Arabic-speaking community and ESSAY.  In the middle of 2022, our journey began not with a grand plan, but with a quiet realization between two fellows. We saw a gap that felt like a canyon: the life-giving words of the ESSAY magazine were largely locked away in English, leaving many of our Arabic-...

Deliverance and acceptance came after giving away Step Four in Step Five. Three months into recovery, I felt a powerful, almost irresistible urge to undertake the Fourth and Fifth Steps. I believe it was a moment of grace—a call from God directing me toward a long-overdue reckoning with my past addictive behavior. At the time, I was attending a daily phone meeting and one in-person meeting each we...

Finding a Higher Power through the Steps made him a kinder person.  I’ve been incarcerated for over four years now, and I will spend 13 more years in prison because I let my sex addiction take over my life. For about a year after my arrest, I was too numb and scared to address my problems. I doubted that I could change the negative stigma associated with me.