DNA Surprises

DNA surprises are, by definition, surprises, but sometimes there are murmurs and suspicions long before a DNA test confirms the truth. In this week’s episode, Liann shares how she uncovered her mother’s secret long before she took a test. She talks about how she’s navigated her journey so far, including rejection from her biological father. She also reflects on how her admiration for her raised fa...

What’s in a name? For people who have experienced a DNA surprise, a whole lot. In this week's episode, Morgan shares his DNA surprise story as the child of an adoptee. He describes how he first found his biological grandmother before the days of the internet and later found his biological grandfather’s family with the help of commercial DNA testing. He also explains why changing his name to th...

When an NPE connects with newfound family and begins building positive relationships, many people consider it to be a success story. Sometimes, though, relationships take a turn, and rejection happens further into the relationship. In this week’s episode, Kimberly shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and connected with her biological father. She also discusses her surprise when, 18 months int...

Content Warning:  Please note that there are references to suicide in this story. If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please contact an emergency or mental health professional. If you’re in the US, you can call or text 988. Sometimes DNA discoveries occur without the aid of a DNA test. In this week’s episode, Jen shares how her mother revealed the truth about her paternity after a near-...

Welcome to Season 5 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Christa shares her NPE story.  Christa always knew that something wasn’t quite right because she looked different from her family.  When she got the results of her 23&Me test, she learned that her biological father wasn’t who she expected, and neither was her ethnicity. Christa talks about how she’s navigated building re...

Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! Today I am joined by my good friend and co-founder of the  DNA Surprise Retreat,  Debbie Olson. Debbie is a Certified Life Coach and founder of  DNA Surprise Network.  She helps others navigate life’s path after having a DNA Surprise, having experienced one of her own. She enjoys using her skills of empathy, understanding, and communication with her coa...

Welcome to the season 4 finale of DNA Surprises.  One of the things I’ve observed throughout my conversations within this community is that NPEs often explain away confusing details about their conception or births because we trust our parents. We believe what we’re told. In this week’s episode, Sam explains how she always felt different from her sisters and raised her father but trusted what her...

Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Christine Wolf is a  Chicago-based author and writing coach  whose focus is on memoir and biography. Her award-winning work is regularly featured in national newspapers, magazines, and on live storytelling stages.  Through her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, Wolf empowers writers and non-writers alike to find their authentic voices. In 2018,...

Sometimes DNA surprises lead to flourishing relationships with newfound family, but sometimes they do not. In this week’s episode, Angie shares how a comment from her birth certificate father’s wife revealed a non-paternal event.  She discusses how she identified her biological father with the help of  DNAngels  and her disappointment at his unwillingness to build a relationship. Angie also shares...

Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Lindsay Johnson, a registered nurse, board-certified nurse coach, and  integrative health coach  who cares for the caregiver through stress, burnout, and trauma healing. She utilizes various methodologies in her practice, including mindful listening, transformative coaching, somatic experience and trauma healing, mindfulne...

DNA surprises can cause major disruptions to our interpersonal relationships, particularly the bonds we have with our raised parents. But often what most affects those relationships isn’t the surprises themselves, but how people act afterward. In this episode, Stacy shares how she uncovered not one, but two NPEs throughout her life. She shares how she’s built amazing relationships with her newfoun...

When people experience DNA surprises, the range of emotions they feel can be wide. There’s sadness. There’s confusion. There’s happiness, sometimes. And often, there is anger.  In this week’s episode, Aly shares how she felt when she learned that her birth certificate father isn’t her biological father and that she was born after a years-long affair between her mother and a colleague. She discusse...

Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Jennica Klemann, an  Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist  and Arizona Licensed Massage Therapist. She specializes in a variety of losses including death, divorce, loss of health, child loss, pet loss, and complicated familial dynamics, just to name a few. Jennica is facilitating a session on grief at the DNA surpr...

Sometimes DNA surprises aren’t surprising at all, but validating.  In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she learned that after feeling different from her family her entire life, she is not genetically related to her raised father. She also learned that she isn’t white as she believed, but descends from a large Mexican family. She shares how she’s processing her surprise and connecting with her f...

Oftentimes in the DNA surprise community, one NPE leads to another. In this week’s episode, Scarlett shares how she learned she was an NPE, only to learn that the man her mother identified wasn’t her biological father, either. She tells us about her tumultuous upbringing, how her relationship with her raised family and newfound family is progressing, and how she tackled processing her DNA surprise...

One of the things people in the DNA surprise community contend with is that we’ll never have all of the answers to our questions. In this week’s episode, Debra shares her story. She grew up with her mother and stepfather and was largely estranged from the man she believed to be her father. After reconnecting and building a relationship, she learned that the man on her birth certificate is not biol...

In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Jennifer Spencer, who is facilitating a session on Radical Acceptance at the  DNA Surprise Retreat .  Jennifer is a  licensed professional counselor  who works with people who want to make lasting change for themselves to better their relationships, enjoy life, and make an overall life worth living. She specializes in DBT, CBT, ACT...

DNA surprises often shake the very core of what we believe our identities to be. In this week’s episode, Laurie shares how she went from believing she was the only child of two concentration camp survivors of the Holocaust to learning she is one of at least 6 siblings - half of whom were born as the result of assisted reproduction. Laurie always knew her parents went to a fertility doctor but she...

This week’s story tells not one, but two, shocking DNA discoveries. Growing up, Phil believed that the parents who raised him were his biological parents. As a child, he learned that his biological mother abandoned him and he was raised by his stepmother. Decades later, he learned that his raised father isn’t his biological parent, either. This episode contains references to suicide, child abuse,...

How would you feel if you learned that your biological father was a constant presence in your life, despite being raised under the belief that another man shared your DNA? In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned that her biological father was a longtime family friend who even taught her how to tie her shoes. I spoke with Shannon just four months after her DNA surprise. She offers a...

In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Megan Irwin, who will be facilitating a session on Trauma at the  DNA Surprise Retreat . Megan is a  licensed therapist  specializing in grief and loss, trauma/PTSD, and associated challenges. She serves as a compassionate witness and guide for her clients’ healing and personal growth.  Megan will facilitate a session called “Big T...

Every DNA surprise is unique and layered, and this is especially true for those who have major shifts in ethnicity. In this week’s episode, Robin shares her NPE journey, which began more than a decade ago. Robin was always proud of her blackness. But when she made her discovery, she not only learned that her dad is not her biological father, but that her biological father is white—and racist. She...

Welcome to Season 4 of DNA Surprises. In our first episode of the season, Natalie shares her NPE story. When Natalie experienced her surprise, she had no idea that she was uncovering her mother’s decade’s-long secret about Natalie and her brother. So many of us are desperate for answers when we first uncover a DNA surprise. Natalie’s story perfectly captures how we often learn more and more truths...

Welcome to the Season 3 finale of DNA surprises. In this week’s episode, Kiara Rae Schuh shares her journey as she connected with her fellow donor-conceived siblings and eventually, her donor. Kiara discusses the importance of her chosen family, which is also the name of her brand new book, and how her mother’s openness about using assisted reproduction informs her views of donor conception and fa...

DNA surprises are often uncovered after innocent intentions. When Stacy’s daughter decided to take a DNA test to learn more about her father’s side of the family because he was adopted, she didn’t suspect that she’d uncover her mother’s NPE. Stacy shares how she always felt different from her family and how she is forging new relationships with her biological father, step-mom, and newfound sisters...