DNA Surprises

***SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: DNA Surprises will be taking a short summer break during July and August. I’m excited to come back in September refreshed, recharged, and with more stories from the NPE, adoptee, and donor conceived communities. Thank you for listening, sharing, and helping make this community what it is. Have a wonderful summer, and we’ll see you in September!**** DNA surprises take time....

Sometimes, DNA surprises aren’t about misattributed parentage. Sometimes, the biggest surprises are the feelings we experience as we explore biological connections. In this week’s episode, Tracy shares how she always knew was adopted, and always knew that she wanted to find her biological parents. Much to her surprise, after she reunited with both of them, she uncovered complicated feelings around...

The more, the merrier. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone involved in a DNA surprise had this mentality? While that’s unfortunately not always the case, this week’s guest has had an incredible time connecting with the family he discovered after taking a DNA test. Nick shares why growing up, learning about his paternal side never really factored into his thinking, and how a DNA test changed everythin...

Words have power. Language is how we make meaning of the things we’ve experienced. For some, having language around DNA surprises, adoption, and donor conception helps people feel less alone. And others take it even further, using the power of language to write about their experience. In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Linda Pevac, also known by her pen name, Emma Stevens. Linda has penned thre...

After a DNA surprise, it’s common to look back and reflect on moments where the truth was right there in front of you. A slip of the tongue, that eerie feeling that something just wasn’t right. But you don’t know it until you know it. In this week’s episode, Billy shares how he brushed up against the truth years before he learned the truth about his paternity. He shared what he’s learned, what rel...

For some people, one of the trickiest things about DNA surprises is that they force us to see our parents as human. It can be uncomfortable to come to terms with infidelity in a marriage, or that your parent would lie to you. In this week’s episode, Ann reveals how she uncovered four DNA surprises in her family. As the “found family” member in each surprise, Ann shares why she felt it was importan...

What are you? For those of us who are quote “ethnically ambiguous,” this question is one we hear over and over again when meeting new people.   In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Stephanie, who fielded questions about her ethnic background her entire childhood. She spent much of her early life trying to connect with others, to fit in somewhere. It wasn’t until much later that a DNA test reveale...

Papa was rollin’ stone. It’s a tale as old as time, and a phrase we’ve heard more than once on the podcast. But sometimes, there’s more to the story. Welcome to the Season 14 premiere of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Patrick shares how taking a 23andme test out of curiosity led him down an unimaginable road - one that made things make sense while simultaneously upending everything he knew...

An interesting thing about DNA Surprises is how much they can rock your identity, not once, but over and over again. Every time a layer is pulled back with new information, the foundation on which you’ve built your identity shifts. In this week’s episode, Rebecca, an adoptee, shares her heartbreaking - and heartwarming - DNA discovery. She reveals how she connected with her biological mother, and...

One of the things I’ve learned from hosting DNA Surprises is that these discoveries don’t lose their impact with age. Whether someone is 25, 45, or 70, learning that the man who raised you is not your biological father can shift your understanding of your identity in an instant. In this week’s episode, Randy shares how a DNA test organized by his half-sister uncovered that truth. With both of his...

My therapist once told me, “Some of us heal out loud so others don’t have to.” I think of that almost every time I get a note from a podcast listener telling me how much the stories people share each week have helped this. In this week’s episode, I’m joined by someone who is healing out loud for the donor conceived community. Nick, host of the Inconceivably Connected podcast , shares how he discov...

It’s usually the fathers. When people open up their DNA results, it’s the dad’s side that doesn’t line up, and the DNA surprise experience begins.  But sometimes, it’s the mothers. In this week’s episode, Robin shares how she uncovered a shocking secret after taking Ancestry and 23andme tests. Her story highlights the impact of family secrets and the power of learning the truth. Thank you for shar...

Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice? That expression doesn’t exactly translate to the DNA surprise community. As I often say, we believe what our parents tell us, and many times, our surprises are shocking even to the people who raised us. In this week’s episode, Amber shares the winding road she walked before discovering the truth about her paternity. She reveals the steps she took more than...

Surprise: an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing. Yet, for many people there was always a sneaking suspicion. A wondering. The unthought known. This week’s episode is not one of those cases. When Sonya first took her DNA test, she was quickly able to make it make sense. It wasn’t until years later that she found a truth she never saw coming. Sonya shares how she found the identity of h...

Have you ever made a decision without thinking about the long-term consequences? It’s a pretty normal human experience, right? Now imagine making a decision and never being faced with the consequence for 20 years. In this week’s episode, Shaun shares how his decision to become a sperm donor in his early twenties carried a gravity he didn’t realize until much later. He reveals how he learned that h...

“ My quest to find my past would return again and again in the years to come like a lighthouse beacon that flashes bright and then fades only to return again.” This quote, written by Steve Pemberton and shared by this week’s guest, perfectly captures the hold that DNA surprises have on so many. There are periods of intense focus - on our feelings, research, and desire for connection. These are som...

If DNA surprises were carnival rides, they’d be roller coasters. There are years spent leading up to the test results- the slow climb. The shocking results - the drop. And from there, we find ourselves on twists, turns and loops. We can’t always see where the drops are coming up ahead. In this week’s episode, Myranda shares how she uncovered the truth about who her biological father is. Her story...

So much of our identity is wrapped up in the stories we tell ourselves. How we came to be, who our parents are, who our grandparents are. What they did how how they lived. For adoptees, many of those details are a mystery. In this week’s episode, Barry shares how he discovered his father’s incredible story after taking a DNA test. He reveals how learning more about his father created a powerful co...

Hosting DNA Surprises gives me the incredible opportunity to speak to incredible people every week. And almost everyone I speak to says something along the lines of “I’ve been told to write a book!” It’s true - our stories are stranger than fiction. In this week's episode, I’m joined by someone who wrote that book. Kimberly Warner, author of Unfixed: A Memoir of Family, Mystery, and the Curren...

Welcome to Season 13 of DNA Surprises. We’re kicking off this season with a story that asks the question, what do you do when you learn that not one, but both of your parents are not related to you? A child of Russian immigrants, Maria shares her late-discovery adoptee experience, which includes a shocking ethnicity shift. During our conversation, Maria details how she uncovered the truth and she...

DNA surprises often lead to answers - the truth about parentage, insights into family dynamics, clarity about the past. Still, as I often say, they also leave us with questions. Questions that may never be answered. But what if something as simple as a birthdate was unknown to you, possibly forever?  Welcome to the season 12 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, I’m joined by James, a f...

What happens after you take a DNA test? After you make contact with newfound family? After you write that letter, or email, or hit send on a text? You wait. And wait, and wait.  In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Devon, who spent almost the entirety of her 70 plus years…waiting. From being raised by an aunt to life with her mother and a man whom she never felt biologically related to, Devon sha...

You can’t unring a bell. After a DNA surprise is uncovered, after contact is made with newfound relatives, what’s done is done. Which is why some people are hesitant to dig into the truth. You never know what’s waiting for you on the other side. In this week’s episode, Jeremy shares why he didn’t decide to take his test to confirm the identity of his biological father until his daughters Googled h...

"It’s a scam!" That’s what some family members say after a DNA surprise is uncovered. "Those tests aren’t accurate." Or, if a long-lost relative reaches out, they’re surely after money. If you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time, you know that’s not true, but it’s a common  response. In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Melissa and Dan, who were both advised to...

DNA surprises by their very nature change the lens through which we view family. Our raise families, our newfound families. Things that seemed normal become less so. With hindsight, we gain clarity on what was there all along. In this week’s episode, Angeline shares how her daughter’s desire to take a DNA test fundamentally altered her understanding of her family dynamics. She shares what’s helped...