Divorce Actually

Parenting half the time was not the plan. In this mini episode, my sister Pudding talks about what shared care and control actually feels like when you don't see your child every day: nesting, handovers, decisions you both have to agree on, and the one thing she'd tell a parent about to start. Pudding is a divorced mom of one with a shared care and control order, nearly two years in. This...

Is there a right way to parent through divorce? Guest expert Dr. Katrina Gisbert-Tay is a medical doctor, a certified parenting coach, executive wellbeing coach, and somatic practitioner based in Singapore. She's also a mother of three. In this conversation, we get into why "right vs. wrong" is the wrong frame for parenting through divorce, the real difference between guilt and shame...

Her parents split when she was 7. Got back together when she was 10. Split again when she was 15. And by 18, she'd gone from only child to the oldest of three brand-new step-siblings. My guest today is Denyse - a lawyer, commissioner for oaths, notary public, and a dear friend of mine. But today she's not here as a legal expert. She's here as someone who actually lived the thing so man...

One of her children is only there half of the time. In this episode, I'm sitting down with Paula, founder of Kakuaa Coaching, who's living the exact thing she coaches as stepmother to her husband's daughter, and mother to the two boys they share, all under one roof. We talk about what she and her husband negotiated before they ever blended their household, how they make decisions once...

Don't shoot the messenger they say. Nobody mentions what happens when the messenger is a trained lawyer, but not trained for this. Raeza Ibrahim is a civil and commercial litigator, and an accredited mediator but strictly commercial and civil disputes. Family law is a territory he's never trained in and actively avoids. Yet more than once, friends going through divorce have asked him to st...

Not sure where to start untangling your own situation? Take the free Divorce Readiness Diagnostic https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnostic Everyone says they want an amicable divorce. Most people mean it but they just don't always appreciate what it actually requires. In this episode, Franklin shares his side of a real neutral-agreement divorce: no court battle, no drawn-out fight over t...

Not sure where to start untangling your own situation? Take the free Divorce Readiness Diagnostic: https://imanibrahim.kit.com/divorce-diagnostic Divorce By Mutual Agreement: Everyone says they want an amicable divorce. Most people mean it but they don't always appreciate what it actually requires. In this episode, Pudding Ibrahim shares her side of a real divorce by mutual agreement: no court...

The problem isn't finding a good lawyer. It's knowing how to use one well. That means arriving with an agenda instead of a download, knowing what your lawyer actually needs versus what you need to say, and building habits between meetings that protect both your strategy and your budget. In this episode: Why most clients confuse what they need to say with what their lawyer needs to hear How to stru...

Most people choose a divorce lawyer the way they choose a contractor. Someone recommends a name. You book a consultation. You feel like you're doing something. Sometimes that works out. Sometimes it costs you $40,000 and eighteen months to find out you hired the wrong person for the wrong problem. Choosing the right lawyer isn't about finding the most aggressive or the best-reviewed. It's about kn...

Have you ever asked someone a question, gotten a perfectly good answer, and still felt completely stuck? This is the diagnostic episode. Where Episode 5 gives you the clarity framework, Episode 6 gives you the question-refinement tool. Here's what happens: the question you ask is almost never the question you need answered. Especially in divorce. Because the real questions feel too scary or to...

By the time most people come to me, they have enormous amounts of information and almost no clarity. They've Googled, consulted lawyers, know what's legally possible - and still can't decide anything. The problem: they know what's available, but they haven't decided what they want. And those are completely different questions. Most people enter divorce with inherited goals. The...

You're stuck between two options that both feel terrible. You've analyzed yourself in circles. You keep thinking "I just need more information" but what you're really waiting for is certainty that will never come. Here's what I'd walk you through in a coaching session: First, we'd get honest about what you're actually optimizing for - not what you think you sh...

Every text, every email, every WhatsApp message you send during divorce has two audiences. The visible audience: your ex-partner. The invisible audience: the mediator, judge, or custody evaluator who will read it 6 months, 12 months, 24 months from now with zero context. Most people write only for the visible audience - trying to convince, explain, defend. But the invisible audience is the one who...

You've explained it five different ways. You've provided evidence. You've been calm, then firm, then emotional, then logical. And nothing works. Because this isn't a communication problem. It's a strategy problem. Trying to reach understanding with an unreasonable person is structural failure - not communication failure. You're using a strategy designed for reasonable people on someone who isn't o...

The most common question people ask when they first reach out: should I stay or should I go? And what they're really asking is: do I have the courage to leave? Wrong question. Because what people call "needing courage" is actually needing a gameplan. Strategic staying isn't passive endurance - it's active preparation with clear milestones. Strategic leaving isn't emotiona...