Contemplations and Hyperfixations

Contemplations and Hyperfixations comes from inside the unresolved, not the other side of it. It's a show about the raw, messy middle of illness and becoming, where there are no answers yet, only the existential loops we don't usually say out loud. It moves through chronic illness, mysticism, queerness, disability, autism and neurodivergence, trauma, collective liberation and justice. Some episode...

Content note: this episode discusses chronic illness, death, and mortality, including a moment of reflecting on times when being alive feels unbearable. A contemplation on chronic illness, grief, and the longing to live. At 36, I received emergency surgery for a heart block that required a pacemaker to keep my heart beating. Since then, I’ve been contemplating my own mortality and noticing myself...

Content note: this episode includes me breaking down while recording and frank talk about chronic illness, pain, and graphic medical/GI symptoms. Reflections on chronic illness, neurodivergence, and finding kinship across five centuries. I sat down to tell you about Teresa of Ávila, a 16th-century mystic who was chronically ill, almost certainly neurodivergent and queer, and someone the Church nev...