Connecting Couples

Underneath the content of our fights there is a narrative. A story we tell ourselves; about ourselves, about our partner and about our relationship. When we are in a negative cycle, those stories tend to not only be the most negative view you can hold, but also tend to be about identity and security. "I am bad." "My partner is bad." "Our relationship is bad." A healthy goal to work toward in build...

This episode marks the first full year the Connecting Couples Podcast. The Imhoffs celebrate a little and then look back over the year at some of the series they have done and highlight some key points. In this episode they go back to the cycle and why the goal of not getting into cycles in unrealistic. As usual, they share from their own experience and then cue up a conversation for you to have w...

In this special episode, Chad and Angela respond to a listener who wrote in asking about finding a partner and then learning the same language. Dating again after a failed relationship can feel impossible, especially when our body is trying to make sure we don't get hurt again. The Imhoffs share their own experience about finding a partner after divorce, and the step they took to make sure the rel...

In this episode, Chad and Angela warp up this series by encouraging you to consider the mindset you had when you were dating your spouse. Can you remember the effort you made to impress your partner? Can you remember the things you did to let your partner know you were interested in being together. Sometimes life and comfort shift our effort and we can forget to do the important things that help b...

Withdrawers are stoic, steady, and maintain composure in the face of chaos and conflict. It's why we love them. Withdrawers also don't want to get it wrong and therefor can find themselves in a place feeling like no move is the best move. In this series, the RealImhoffs encourage you to keep going on dates... even more, to consider what it was like when you started dated and how to possibly bring...

Pursuers have energy and charisma. They plan great events and keep things on track. Some of the unpleasant things pursuers are known for are the very things that usually attracted their partners in a different context. But over time- with the fade they discussed in Episode 1- it can start to look like pursuers are just mad all the time or only ever pointing out what is not right. In this episode,...

Do you ever consider the amount of effort that you and your partner put into impressing each other when you were dating. The curiosity. The intentionality. The communication that went it to the next time you would see each other. While it is great the there is a level of acceptance and comfort that comes when you are married, we can often forget to make an effort for our partners. In this new seri...

In this final episode of their mini-series on speaking The Same Language, The Imhoffs help you apply the tools from the previous episode and also set your partner up to respond well when you finally open up. Let's face it, it's not only about being able to be vulnerable, it's also about that risk being responded to in a way that helps to build, not disconnect, your security. Chad and Angela give y...

Have you ever tried to explain something to your partner, but they just don't understand? What if you could both speak the same language? In this episode, Chad and Angela give you practical tools around how to articulate your experience to your partner in a way that will be understood. First, Chad breaks down his acrostic PERMS about how you are feeling- Physically, Emotionally, Relationally, Ment...

Have you ever felt that you were clearly communicating yet your partner just wasn't understanding? It happens in all relationships. No matter how clear you try to articulate, sometimes the words just don't mean the same thing. In this new mini-series, Chad and Angela normalize the very common practice of misunderstanding. They not only give you examples to relate to, but they also set up the conve...

There are clearly things that can be done to schedule, planning holidays, vacations, having budget talks, keeping a family night, going on dates... but underneath all of the events that are calendar worthy, there needs to be a secure foundation. In this final episode of their Marriage Maintenance series, Chad and Angela discuss the importance of having an understanding about some of the fundamenta...

Its the small things we do on a daily basis that can really have an impact on how our connection feels. In this episode of their maintenance series, Chad and Angela discuss things you can do each and every day that will help you stay more in tune and in touch with your partner. From being intentional about exits and entries, to including rituals like praying or calling when you are on the way home...

Monday hits and it's already Friday. The weeks come quick and are filled with lots of opportunities to connect that we often miss. In this episode of their Marriage Maintenance series, Chad and Angela discuss the intentional ways we can connect in the midst of the business. From weekly rituals like a special night out to eat to the anticipation of connecting physically throughout the week, join th...

In this episode of the Marriage Maintenance Series, Chad and Angela share the practical and necessary conversations to connect with your partner on a regular basis. Maybe its a monthly date night or sitting down with the calendar to see what this quarter holds. Either way, without these conversations events can sneak up on a couple and get them into a negative cycle. The Real Imhoffs cue up the co...

How do you and your partner ensure that yearly events in your relationship go as smoothly as possible? From the fun things, like your wedding anniversary or birthdays, the boring things, like taxes and planning, and even the sometimes hard things like life events you grieve each year or places where your negative cycle shows up around annual events. In this second episode of the Marriage Maintenan...

The Real Imhoffs shift gears a little in this series to cue up conversations that are preventative in nature. Just like a vehicle needs proactive care, like oil changes and tune up, marriages that take the time to 'tune up' have the best chance at running the most efficiently and connected. Join Chad and Angela in this first episode of the Marriage Maintenance Series as they share a few examples f...

When you get sick, can you let your partner know what you need or how you prefer to be cared for? When your partner gets sick, do you feel you have a good idea of how to the best caregiver? In this final episode of their series "Sick At Home", the Imhoffs cue up a conversation about sharing how you feel and what you need in times of sickness. Being sick or having a sick partner creates enough dist...

Sometimes the best way to know how you will responds is to review how you have responded. In this episode of their "Sick At Home" series, Chad and Angela encourage a conversation about how you and your partner have typically responded to each other when one of you gets sick. Has it been a good experience, or is their room for improvement, not only on the part of the caregiver to show empathy and s...

In this episode of their series about being 'Sick At Home', Chad and Angela cue up the conversation for couples to talk about where they learned how to be sick. Sounds weird, but the reality is that we all learned patterns from our family of origin about not only being sick, but also how to respond when those around us are sick. Can you remember a time in your childhood when you or someone in your...

In this new series Dr. Chad Imhoff and his wife Angela discuss how the interactions between couples play out when one partner gets sick. In this first episode Chad shares his process of getting a positive COVID test and encourages couples to have an important conversation about how to respond if one of you gets it. They encourage discussing what the logistics will be, like how you quarantine and h...

This is the final installment of their series that has taken a look back at The Beginning of the journey for Chad and Angela as they experienced learning about emotion. In this episode, the Imhoffs check in with you about how all this stuff is landing for you, and also lay out a clear structure of how to get the most out of these podcasts. They even explain here their website name "The Real Imhoff...

Headed in to week 3 of The Beginning- the Imhoffs explain their first experiences with EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). This week we hear Angela share her side of their journey through understanding emotions in a new way. Unlike Chad's initially cognitive approach, Angela was hit pretty early on with the realization that emotions were not something she understood. Check out Angela's perspective...

In this second episode of their dive back into their first experiences with EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), the Imhoffs dive into Chad's side of their journey to understanding emotions. His initially cognitive approach let him to a place of change not only as a therapist, but also as a husband and individual. Check out this perspective of a new emotional experience from a 'heady-withdrawer".  F...

Rewinding a little bit in their journey, Chad and Angela discuss the beginning of their exposure to EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and their first impressions on their experience learning it. Going from a place where emotions ran in the background to now understanding the importance of emotion hits everyone differently. Listen as Chad and Angela discuss their two very different responses and ho...

In this final episode of the Holiday Series (and final episode of the year), Chad and Angela discuss some practical things to consider for planning ahead with your partner. Grab a calendar and your partner and sit down to talk about what you want your year to look at- and don't be surprised if you have to do a few repairs along the way. Check it out.  For more information about Chad and Angela, ch...