Beyond The Surface

This episode explores the impact of religious trauma on personal identity, focusing on Chris’s experience as a queer person raised within fundamentalist Christianity. Chris reflects on growing up in a Charismatic Baptist church, where emotionally intense healing practices and fear-based teachings shaped his early understanding of faith and selfhood. He shares how messages about sexuality, particul...

This episode delves into the complexities of navigating the Christmas season, particularly for individuals grappling with religious trauma. I reflect on both nostalgia and discomfort that arises during this festive period, articulating what I miss from my past experiences within a church context, alongside the burdens I no longer wish to bear. The conversation emphasises the duality of memory; ack...

In this bonus episode, Sam sits down with ex-Mormon therapists Ashley and Melissa to unpack the latest season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives through the lens of religious trauma and deconstruction. Drawing from both their lived experience and clinical work, they discuss the heavier themes woven through the show; sexual assault, childhood trauma, purity culture, and the emotional toll of life insi...

In this follow-up episode, Liz and Jesse open up about parenting after faith deconstruction, an experience filled with both healing and unlearning. They reflect on how leaving a high-control church reshaped their ideas of authority, discipline, and what it means to raise kids with curiosity instead of fear. Through personal stories, they share the challenges of guiding children who question everyt...

Liz and Jesse join us for a deeply honest conversation about what it means to deconstruct faith while rebuilding a relationship that began inside a high-control church. Liz shares her experience growing up as a pastor’s daughter and the shock of discovering her father’s double life, a revelation that shattered her worldview. Jesse reflects on his eclectic spiritual background and the dissonance of...

Jeremy shares his experience of growing up within a strict Lutheran sect, offering a candid look at how faith, identity, and his late AuDHD diagnosis intersected throughout his life. From early moments of doubt at just ten years old to the long process of deconstruction that followed, Jeremy reflects on the challenges of navigating a belief system that often discouraged questioning and individuali...

In this episode, Brandie opens up about her experience within a commercial cult operating under the guise of a multi-level marketing (MLM) scheme. She reflects on the allure of belonging and empowerment that initially drew her in, and the eventual disillusionment that came with realising the manipulative dynamics at play. Brandie explores the guilt, fear, and loss of autonomy that many, especially...

In this powerful episode, Cheryl shares her courageous journey of escaping the Exclusive Brethren, a high-control religious community marked by isolation and fear. Born into a life defined by strict rules and emotional repression, Cheryl recounts her childhood in rural Saskatchewan, revealing experiences of sexual abuse, indoctrination, and deep psychological control. Leaving the group at just 17,...

Raised in an unorthodox Mormon family, Ashley shares her journey of navigating faith, identity, and the pressures of patriarchal religious structures. In this conversation, she reflects on the tension of growing up with a non-Mormon father, the weight of expectations within her community, and the shame that often accompanied rigid doctrine. Now a therapist specialising in religious trauma, Ashley...

Shunned after leaving the Geelong Revival Center, Jodie shares her journey from the insular world of fundamentalist faith to a more expansive and authentic sense of self. She reflects on the love and community she once knew, alongside the rigid expectations and lack of critical thought that shaped her childhood. Candidly exploring the pain of shunning and the challenge of rebuilding relationships,...

Lauren’s story begins with the role of golden child , expected to keep the peace in a high-control family by silencing her own needs and striving for parental approval. Over time, this weight collided with her growing awareness of politics and social justice, sparking questions that clashed with her upbringing and eventually led to estrangement. Her journey captures both the grief of losing family...

Hana, known online as the Suburban Witch, shares her journey of deconstructing a Pentecostal upbringing in Australia and the lasting impact of religious trauma. The conversation explores her childhood experiences of indoctrination, including purity culture, conformity, and the pressure to tie self-worth to rigid belief systems. Hana reflects on the psychological toll of growing up in a high-contro...

In this episode, Rachel shares her story of being immersed into the IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles), where the teachings of Bill Gothard shaped her understanding of faith, identity, and community in deeply controlling ways. She reflects on how the subtle mechanisms of spiritual abuse left lasting impacts on her ability to trust, belong, and feel secure in herself, even after leaving. As...

In this episode, Scott, a Japanese American, reflects on his journey of navigating faith, race, and identity within evangelical Christianity. His parents adopted the church as a path to assimilation after the trauma of their own internment during World War II, a legacy that shaped his childhood in predominantly white spaces where he often felt alienated. While evangelicalism offered belonging, it...

Sally shares her journey of recovering from her time in Providence, a high-control cult that exploited her search for belonging. From her childhood as a Vietnamese immigrant to the manipulative dynamics that drew her into the group, Sally reflects on how cults prey on vulnerability and maintain control through fear and psychological tactics. Her story sheds light on both the personal cost of spiri...

T shares their powerful story of spending over two decades in a coercive Sufi group and what it meant to finally walk away. We talk about the search for belonging that can draw people into high-control spaces, the manipulation and fear that keep them there, and the emotional cost of suppressing identity for the sake of faith. T reflects on cultic vows, spiritual betrayal, and the resilience it too...

Janice shares her story of growing up in religion, specifically a Pentecostal family in Canada, where vibrant expressions of faith like speaking in tongues were part of daily life. Raised by parents transformed by their beliefs, she navigated the tension between familial love, purity culture, and the pull of individual identity, a journey that would eventually inspire her to write Divorcing Religi...

In this episode, I sit down with Elise as she reflects on her experience growing up in a Pentecostal mega-church and the long, layered process of leaving a high-control religious community. She shares how fear and obedience were embedded in her early beliefs, and how that shaped her sense of self for years. As we talk through the pivotal moments that led to her deconstruction, Elise opens up about...

In this deeply moving episode, Erica shares her story of growing up in a religious household in Canada and then moving to Australia, a childhood shaped by fear, guilt, and shame. Her reflections offer insight into the painful journey of untangling self-worth from the expectations of family and faith. We talk about what it means to deconstruct beliefs that were never truly yours, the shame that pur...

Growing up in the Mormon church, Daisy was expected to follow the rules - and bring her siblings back into the fold. But beneath the surface of religious rituals and gender expectations was a deeper struggle with mental health, body image, and the pressure to be the “good girl.” In this episode, Daisy opens up about the impact of purity culture, the silence around emotional wellbeing, and the lone...

Luke grew up as the youngest of five, navigating family dynamics and a complicated relationship with faith. His journey from rural Canada to a deeply evangelical college in the U.S. brought him face-to-face with teachings that clashed with his emerging queer identity. In this episode, Luke shares candid reflections on conversion therapy, the pressures of purity culture, and the emotional toll of t...

This episode shares the powerful story of Grace, whose journey through religious trauma and identity is deeply intertwined with her experience of asexuality. Raised in a strict Calvinistic Baptist church, Grace was taught doctrines like total depravity and original sin, which left her believing she was fundamentally broken. These messages shaped her early understanding of self-worth, shame, and se...

In this episode, Michelle shares her story of growing up in a non-traditional Southern Baptist environment and how it shaped her sense of self. While her experience didn’t always match mainstream ideas of Southern Baptism, it still carried its own form of control and complexity. Through honest conversation, we explore how religious identity can look different for everyone and how stepping away fro...

This podcast episode delves into the complex journey of Melissa leaving the Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA) church, who shares her personal narrative of deconstruction and recovery from high-control religious frameworks. We examine the intricate layers of her upbringing, including the strictures imposed by the church that shaped her identity and relationships. Throughout, we explore the psychological...

This episode dives into the powerful story of a former Mormon who shares her journey from being a devoted member of the church to reclaiming her autonomy and identity. Elayna opens up about growing up in a tight-knit Mormon community, where strict rules around purity and behaviour made her feel isolated and controlled. She talks honestly about the fear, guilt, and loneliness she carried as a...