Beyond The Surface

Meliesa joins Sam to share what it was like to grow up inside the Two by Twos — a high-control religious group where conformity was everything and the gap between outward appearances and internal reality was vast. She speaks honestly about the psychological toll of an upbringing built around compliance and fear, and the hidden dynamics of abuse that can thrive in environments like this one. What m...

Nicola joins Sam to talk about her experience inside the Osho Rajneesh community, a high-control group that doesn't always get the airtime it deserves and what the process of leaving and recovering from that has actually looked like. She speaks openly about the disillusionment that comes when beliefs you once held close begin to fracture, and the particular challenges of rebuilding your sense of s...

In this episode, Sam sits down with someone very close to home; her wife, Chrissy for an honest and personal conversation about Chrissy's journey through organised religion, from a confusing early experience of Catholicism to the demands and contradictions of Pentecostalism, and everything that unravelled along the way. Chrissy speaks candidly about navigating purity culture, the alienation that c...

Brandan joins Sam to talk about what it was like to find belonging in a fundamentalist Baptist community at twelve years old and to be a closeted gay kid inside it at the same time. He speaks honestly about the cognitive dissonance of feeling genuinely loved by a community whose theology told him who he was amounted to sin, and the anxiety and fear that slowly built underneath that. The conversati...

In this solo episode, Sam sits with something that doesn't get talked about enough during Pride Month - grief. For queer people who've come out of religious environments, the celebrations of June can sit alongside a very specific kind of loss, and Sam reflects honestly on that tension: the way communal joy can sometimes make private sorrow louder, and why those two things don't cancel each other o...

Jay (they/them) joins Sam to talk about growing up as a pastor's kid, navigating queerness and gender identity within a family deeply embedded in faith, and what it meant to wrestle with all of that while also surviving childhood leukemia. Jay is honest about the toll of living between personal truth and family expectation, and the work it takes to find your own voice when the people closest to yo...

In this solo episode, Sam examines the deeply uncomfortable overlap between domestic violence and high-control religious environments. Specifically, how the same systems that teach women what love looks like also teach them not to recognise abuse when it's happening to them. From submission doctrine to male headship theology, Sam unpacks how religious frameworks don't just fail to protect women fr...

Elise Heerde joins Sam for a conversation that is equal parts exciting and meaningful; a behind-the-scenes look at the evolution of their organisation and a heartfelt invitation into what promises to be a landmark community event for survivors of religious trauma and high-control systems. They discuss the growth of the RTC, its deepening commitment to inclusivity and to holding space for people fr...

Psychologist Joh Knyn joins Sam for a thoughtful and nuanced conversation about dissociative identity disorder. A topic that is so often misunderstood, sensationalised, or flattened into something it isn't. Together they explore the intersection of DID and high-control environments, unpacking how trauma shapes plural identity and what genuine, affirming support actually looks like in a therapeutic...

Liz Cameron, author of Cult Bride , joins Sam for a conversation that is as grounding as it is eye-opening, bringing her own story and hard-won insight to bear on the realities of life inside a high-control religious group and the long, non-linear road of recovery that follows. Together they dig into the way fundamentalist belief systems shape identity from the inside out, leaving traces that don'...

In this solo episode, Sam turns her attention to something that might be uncomfortable to sit with and that's the way progressive, supposedly safe communities can replicate the very dynamics of control and harm that so many of us fled organised religion to escape. Drawing on her own experiences, Sam examines how the instincts shaped by high-control environments don't just disappear when we land so...

Alicia joins Sam to offer a candid look inside The Truth also known as the 2x2's - a high-control religious system that receives far less public attention than it deserves. Drawing on her own lived experience, Alicia traces the gradual process of waking up to the inconsistencies within her faith community, the anxiety that accompanied that awakening, and the profound identity questions that surfac...

Andrew joins Sam for a conversation that is as honest as it is moving, reflecting on his journey out of a fundamentalist environment and the particular complexity of navigating that path as a queer person. Together they&...

Easter is supposed to be a time of joy and renewal, but for many who've experienced religious trauma, it can bring up something far more complicated. In this episode, Sam and Elise set aside the conventional Easter narrative to sit with the harder, quieter feelings this time of year can stir up, drawing on their own experiences to explore how themes of suffering, sacrifice, and mandated celebratio...

In this episode, Naomi shares her journey of leaving the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) world and navigating life after such a high-control environment. She talks openly about the emotional and psychological toll of religious trauma, including the difficulties of estrangement from family and the fear that comes with questioning deeply ingrained beliefs. The conversation highlights the impor...

In this episode, Tristan shares what it was like growing up in the 2x2's, a high-control religious group that shaped much of his early life. He reflects on the strange mix of freedom and restriction in his childhood, and the confusion that can come from trying to make sense of both the good memories and the harmful parts of that upbringing. Tristan talks about the lingering impact of indoctrinatio...

This solo episode is basically me unapologetically loving Wicked and unpacking why it hits so hard for anyone who’s left a high-control religion. I talk about my deep connection to Elphaba; the “problem,” the scapegoat, the one who won’t stay small and how her story mirrors the experience of choosing authenticity over belonging. We explore the grief and liberation that come with being cast as the...

In this episode, Sam chats with Katie about what it actually looks like to rebuild life after religious trauma, especially coming out of a strict Catholic environment. Katie shares how growing up in rigid faith shaped her identity, leaving her stuck in perfectionism, people-pleasing, and constantly second-guessing herself. Together, they unpack the idea of redefining spirituality outside organised...

For the 100th story episode, the roles flip a little as Sam steps into the guest seat and hands the hosting mic over to Matt, creating space to share more of her own lived experience of religious trauma. Together, they reflect on the complicated grief that comes with leaving high-control faith communities, not just losing beliefs, but losing belonging, identity, and sometimes entire support system...

Stacy shares her long and complicated relationship with fundamentalism and evangelical Christianity, starting with a childhood shaped by strict values rather than overt religiosity, and moving into a born-again faith she found as a teenager while searching for belonging. What initially felt like connection and purpose slowly became transactional, where her worth was measured by how much she served...

Ben shares his story of growing up in a small town in New Zealand, where Christianity initially felt like safety and belonging; until his queerness made that same faith feel threatening and conditional. He opens up about the pressure of staying closeted, the impact of religious trauma, and the fear of rejection that shaped his sense of self. Ben also speaks about a turning point during his time in...

In this episode, Brianna shares her journey growing up in a high-control religious environment and the impact of her mother leaving a restrictive sect while pregnant. She reflects on the effects of purity culture, shame around sexuality, and years of believing she had a sex addiction. Brianna discusses reclaiming her identity, separating her beliefs from her upbringing, and finding empowerment. Th...

In this episode, Sam sits down with Scott, a journalist and author, to discuss his latest book examining the rise of megachurches and their ties to Christian nationalism. Scott shares his experiences growing up in a Southern Baptist megachurch and explores the power dynamics that often leave congregants feeling voiceless. The conversation highlights systemic issues within megachurch culture, inclu...

In this episode, I’m joined by Louise for a raw and honest conversation about intimate partner abuse, faith, and the long road back to self-trust. Louise shares how love, control, and religious beliefs became tangled together, making it hard to recognise abuse while she was inside it. We talk about the ways faith and religious language can be used to justify manipulation, silence doubt, and keep p...

In part two of Chris’s story, we explore the shift from denial to self-acceptance as a queer person shaped by faith. Chris reflects on how embracing authenticity accelerated his journey, and how connecting with others who had already walked this path made healing feel possible. We talk about the grief that comes with recognising lost time spent under shame, conversion ideologies, and trying to sur...