Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette

Let's explore the grief, sadness, and loss that can accompany healing, personal growth, and life transitions—even the ones we've worked hard for and desire. In this episode, I talk about how attachment styles shape the way we process difficult emotions, why minimization of our experiences keeps us stuck, and how honoring the parts of ourselves that helped us survive can illuminate our path forward...

Romantic partnerships, relationship skills, self-awareness, communication, and connection are at the heart of this episode where I explore what it really means to show up well for your partner. Instead of focusing on what your partner isn't doing, I invite you to slow down and ask yourself what kind of partner you are—with a list of honest reflection questions covering everything from listening sk...

The avoidant attachment style is commonly misunderstood and framed negatively in our culture. Today, I want to share about some of the things I think we get wrong about the avoidant attachment style and explore how we might create a more balanced perspective on relational healing. I reflect on some of the writing I've done related to the avoidant style and the feedback I've received.  Here are the...

In this episode, I'm inviting you back to the core concepts of self-care, healing, and personal growth. I'll explore what it truly means to nurture your mental health, protect your emotional well-being, and build sustainable wellness through healthy boundaries and meaningful connection. What it means to engage in genuine self-care can feel confusing, especially with the noise of consumer culture r...

Internal Family Systems, or parts work—a model I use every single day in my therapy and coaching practice—is one of my favorite things to talk about (especially when it comes to healing attachment wounds). This episode is a shout out to anyone who has felt like they've had to put parts of themselves away to be more accepted or loved. I talk about how we learn to break ourselves into pieces early i...

Relational skills like reflective listening, embodied presence, and attunement are the tools that create deeper, more meaningful connection and I want to share them with you! I'm so glad to be back to the podcast! In this episode, I dive right into what it actually means to become relational and why sharpening these skills matters (especially now). I introduce a relational framework and walk throu...

In this episode of Becoming Relational, we explore shame, self abandonment, and how breaking people-pleasing patterns can transform your relationships. I'm sharing honestly about something that took me years to understand: how shame and self abandonment are deeply connected. I explore my own experience of hitting rock bottom and the slow, sometimes painful journey of finding my way back to myself....

Self-abandonment, people-pleasing, insecure attachment—in this episode, I'm exploring a pattern I see every single day in my therapy and coaching practice, and one I've struggled with myself. I'm talking about the painful cycle of choosing someone else's comfort over your own, repeatedly pushing down your desires to keep the peace, and staying in relationships that don't work for you because self-...

Today, I'm sharing about my personal journey with self-worth and confidence, and how attachment theory has supported me in navigating unworthiness and insecurity. I've been wrestling with feelings of unworthiness lately, a familiar struggle with believing that I belong and that what I offer truly matters. If you've ever felt like you're not enough or wondered how to show up authentically when self...

Today I'm exploring relationship repair, secure attachment, and relationship disconnection—and why investing in the relationships you already have, rather than constantly searching for something new, might be the most revolutionary choice you can make. Let's discuss how to navigate relationship disconnection, practice intentional repair, and build resilient, secure relationships through accountabi...

Let's explore nervous system regulation and how understanding your unique nervous system can transform your relationships and daily life. I discuss attachment styles, nervous system health, and practical tools for emotional regulation that you can use right away.   I share how your attachment adaptation—whether anxious, avoidant, disorganized, or secure—shapes the way your nervous system responds...

Becoming better at relationships isn't just about intimate partnerships—it's about how you show up for your community and support your neighbors. In this brief episode, I'm sharing a meaningful tradition my family started a few years ago that transforms Valentine's Day into something for meaningful to us than flowers and chocolates. For my family (and a handful of dear friends!), February 14th has...

Building capacity for stress is a skill that supports all of our relationships—and helps us cope more effectively with our daily challenges and our greater emotional landscape.  In this episode, I'm sharing practical tools for building capacity in our nervous systems so we can show up more fully in our relationships and communities, especially during challenging times that require us to be active,...

Let's talk about concrete, practical skills that can support you in having healthier, more fulfilling, and reciprocal relationships this year.   In a world that seems to be consistently generating new injustices, fears, and concerns about the safety of people we love, I want us to feel a sense of agency in how we show up in our relationships. My hope for this episode is that you will take the time...

Relationships, attachment styles, boundaries, and the hard-won lessons I've learned over the course of my relational life--that's what we're chatting about in Episode 2! I recently turned 40, and I've been reflecting deeply on how my relationships have shaped who I am. In this episode, I'm sharing the most important lessons I've learned about relationships throughout my twenties and thirties using...

Welcome to the very first episode of Becoming Relational! I'm Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW and I'm so grateful you're here with me. In this episode, I discuss my passion for relationships, my own path to becoming an attachment specialist, and why I believe compassionate, nuanced connection is so vital in our world today. You'll hear a bit about my story, my work, and my hopes for this podcast as a spa...