Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

TW: brief mention of past suicidal ideation In this episode, I unpack a really heavy therapy day, realizing I’ve basically gone “low contact” with my mom while still living in the same house, and how that constant emotional monitoring wears on me. I talk about wanting my own space, wondering what my “best characteristic” actually is, and the tiny thread of hope that keeps me here: the thought that...

In this episode, I talk about literal growing pains : sore arms from the gym, stretching my comfort zone with a accidentally-launched Patreon, and an unexpectedly tender car conversation where my dad finally discovers my journals and books. I also unpack how it feels to crave pride and support in a family that doesn’t really “talk,” and why sharing my work with you feels safer than sharing it at h...

In this sleepy little episode, I talk about a discount Tuesday movie date with myself, a new “unicorn” crystal bracelet I picked up, and the quiet joy of having small things to look forward to again. I also share how I’m building a playful quiz/AI guide for my journals and podcast, and how, little by little, I’m starting to have more faith in myself , not just in everyone else.

In this episode, I share the spark of a new experiment I’m calling “13 months of yes,” inspired by Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes and my own habit of saying no to myself. I talk about DM’ing a Ford models manager on a whim, painting in a new style, planning future concerts and travel, and why learning to say ye s, to naps, opportunities, and my own soul , feels like inviting God and the universe to sa...

In this episode, I wander through a day that didn’t quite go as planned and ask what it means to move through life more methodically. I talk about wanting methodical motivation for my fitness, my routines, and even my emotions, and why these nightly voice notes feel like a sacred ritual I never want to give up

In this episode, I talk through the two extremes of my day: the joy of helping a stranger with her groceries and the quiet loneliness of realizing I no longer know how to treat myself or go out just for fun. I share the little chain of events that had to line up for that grocery-store “miracle,” how a year on a strict budget has reshaped my habits, and why it feels both good and a bit sad to notic...

I spent most of the day delaying, finally sat down and sent 17 press emails with subject line greetings like “Dear person who gets to decide what Oprah loves next” because I don’t believe in “to whom it may concern” and I never have. Episode 594 is about the mountain I made out of the molehill of sending emails, the fear of being chosen rather than failing, and why flirting is just friendly with i...

I went to the dentist, voted, got a spicy kolache when I always get regular and learned immediately that I do not need the spice, manifested my coloring book getting into Oprah’s Favorite Things on TikTok as a skit and every single person in the comments congratulated me like it already happened and maybe that’s not confusion, maybe that’s just people believing in me. Eric Dane passed away and it...

I went to the gym, set up my dad’s printer, wrote a Substack article I almost accidentally titled the same thing as my last one, rewrote protection affirmations because my brain caught the logical flaw in saying “I do not” to something I don’t want to invite back in, and decided I’m rewarding myself for going to the dentist tomorrow with a kolache and a chocolate glazed donut because that’s just g...

I saved over $1,000 today without spending a thing, found my razors at Dollar Tree after months of looking and bought three packs instead of one, test drove a Volkswagen Atlas that played “When You Say You Love Me” when I asked it what song it wanted me to know, and realized somewhere between the dealership and the dollar store that I’m more than meets the eye aka my own little transformer, and pe...

I painted two paintings, fangirled over green grapes at Aldi, accidentally recorded videos with no sound, and somehow ended up crying over a Reddit astrology reading that described my life so accurately it felt like being seen for the first time in a long time. The star card comes after the tower, and maybe all of 2025 was my tower , not one dramatic collapse but a few bricks at a time until one d...

I slept until 7pm on February 22nd and instead of apologizing for it, I’m calling it exactly what it was , a radical act of self-worth from someone who was taught her whole life that rest has to be earned. A message from a friend I didn’t expect, dumplings and mandarins, and a dream about deleting my whole book reminded me that 222 doesn’t have to look like a meditation , sometimes it looks like f...

I gave myself a weekend off, ended up sleeping until almost 2 pm , and somehow turned a Costco run with my sister into an unexpected solo adventure window shopping through the Galleria : Nordstrom, Valentino, Gucci, Lafayette 148, you name it. No budget, no plan, just me in a sparkly black shirt with a hole in the back of my pants, trying on orange puffer jackets and $26K crocodile Gucci bags like...

Today was a dive into the deep end of the "multitudes," starting with a literal "Eagle-Eye" session on KDP that taught me the hard way about Amazon’s bundle rules. I’m navigating a strange, reflective headspace after watching documentaries on death and a fascinating Korean show about shamans and destiny, which led to some surprisingly dark humor about my "discount cremation" plan and the reality o...

In this episode, I’m navigating a day that started with an "out of sorts" 11 AM wake-up and spiraled into a family whirlwind. I’m getting real about the emotional exhaustion of feeling in "limbo," the sting of not being heard during vulnerable moments, and the petty-but-satisfying decision to reclaim my digital boundaries after a blowup with my sister (goodbye, ad-free YouTube!). From "Goddess of...

Today was a marathon of "moving the needle," starting with a medical scare that turned into a lesson in self-advocacy and ending with a late-night push to get my new coloring book into the hands of the world’s biggest publications. I’m diving into the "rabbit hole" of PR , from emailing Oprah magazine and BuzzFeed to signing up for HARO and sharing the powerful mindset shift of "giving it to God"...

In this episode, I’m diving into a surprisingly profound therapy breakthrough where I discovered that my ultimate "safe space" isn’t a rainbow or a movie theater , it’s a Furniture store . I’m reflecting on the day I manifested my entire apartment's aesthetic, the mystery of how "protectors" always show up exactly when I need them, and why a furniture store is actually the world's best inexpensive...

Today was a masterclass in "Sovereign Cleaning" aka I traded my school homework for a top-to-bottom room reset, from organizing the closet to purging the "socks that will never show up." Between a monumental three-meal day and navigating the "mushy" reality of 93/7 ground turkey, I’ve been deep in reflection on the feedback I received about my new journal's neurodivergent accessibility. Join me as...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jTDxujngVs1lspoSdkdtdzK5fn8GVy8U5SMMacnKS00/edit?usp=sharing I’m celebrating the small wins today, from a record-breaking 93 on my school assessment to officially surviving two days without a five-hour nap. I’ve been deep in the weeds of "recovering perfectionism," font-tuning my journals and drafting a multi-AI-powered press release to make sure my creative vis...

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples , it’s "I Love You Day," a reminder to celebrate every soul you care about, starting with the one in the mirror. From a surprise merch gift and a "spiritual hug" at a show to the massive news that I’ve officially been accepted to the 10-day Vipassana retreat in March, today was a beautiful reminder that we are never truly alone; we are supported. Join me as I...

Today was a reminder that even "just a day" is full of growth. After a much-needed 5-hour nap and a meeting with my mentor, I’m refining my vision for the year: four coloring books, one per quarter, built on the "power of four" and the high-quality details that make an experience truly special. From discovering the world's best heat-protective mister to reaffirming my lifelong ban on crispy bacon,...

Today was a beautiful reminder of why I do what I do. I’m diving into the "tears of gratitude" I felt seeing my journals out in the world, the tactical updates I made to my Amazon listings (shoutout to "Start Here" instructions!), and why I'm officially on the waitlist for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. If you’ve ever felt the urge to hoard knowledge or spiral into comparison, this episode is...

Today was a heart-filling reminder that I am making a real impact. I woke up at 9:30 AM to a breakfast scramble that was too big for a burrito, survived a lactose intolerance "attack" at the gym, and ended the night finding out that two women in my Financial Peace class bought my journals. From helping my dad file an LLC to calculating that I’ve written 102 Substack articles in 139 days, I’m final...

Today was a testament to the "Mamba Mentality" meeting total flexibility. After a surprise 5:00 AM bedtime thanks to a midnight tech-support request from my dad, I still managed to pivot: I experimented with a new "rune-free" painting method that turned out beautiful, simplified a complicated Crunchwrap recipe into a delicious burrito, and shared my new coloring book experience with my class. I’m...

Today was a lesson in staying centered amidst the "beautiful chaos" of family life, from navigating last-minute Uber requests for my dad to handling a "mission impossible" search for my mom’s lost items. I’m leaning into my Oracle card of the month, “Get Grounded,” by experimenting with silent meditation, filing away my green hair for a fresh start next month, and planning a culinary adventure inv...