Alexine Cleans: Barely Fiction

Alexine gives you the nitty gritty on cleaning; it's more interesting than you might expect. She brags about her new arrangement for hair care. She gets into the dollars and (non) cents of her (soon to be EX) boss' business.  She describes the right time and place to get a cocaine habit.  SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat,  and Freesound.org;  Specifically: WolfieRankin, ShimSewn, Reitanna, Hey...

Alexine lets her hair down and has some FUN with her friend Sheen, another 'double bubble'! The rockabilly world is working for them both. She pontificates on the sexiness of women in all sizes.  She manages to get through another day of cleaning while hung-the-fuck-over. SFX: from Artlist, Zapsplat,  and Freesound.org;  Specifically: Gaiterjay, LeeMuffin, RomanHoltwick, SystemShock, Owl...

Alexine introduces us to some of her fav classic podcasts and explains what it's like to hear Americans talk about things now that she lives outside of the States; Dear Gawd. She compares the beloved Dyson stick vac with old-school carpet suckers. She shares a true poo confession and her frustration with dog-fuckers. And elaborates on a few feats from her glory days before being fired at the...

Alexine tells us more than we want to know about her should pain relief and having a 'moment' on a massage table. Her love for dog breasts, yes, dog breasts. And we hear about the first time she took her 14 year old son Harvey to the hospital after a  reaction to his latest drug of choice.  SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat,  and Freesound.org; Specifically: innominatus, ertfelda, tourismandhos...

Alexine introduces us to a couple of cleans in luxury homes; one is stark and cold, the other is cluttered and cozy.  She compares her pained body to the ladies of these grand properties.  She finds friendship with Cairo, the family dog, even if her shoulders pay the price.   SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat,  and Freesound.org;  Specifically: zaku18, matrixxx. Credit:  eerie choir, 2001: Space Odyssey...

Alexine reflects on what exactly ruined the perfect bulge, that whole soul mate idea and yet another level of self care.   The likelihood of a 'lipless wonder'...  is that even possible?!?  Oh and ball trimmers...   I used a few seconds of Capricho Arabe by Nylon Bliss and added the entire song at the end of the episode because it's incredible and you will LOVE it! SFX from Artlist,...

Alexine gets real about body image, Facebook dating, sexual attraction and arousal when you're over 50.   And yes, that's Bigfoot serving her and her coffee date... check it out! Again, brace yourself! Artlist music: Temperatura - Yarin Primak Northern Lights - Borden Lulu Think About Lights - Ben Fox Afterparty - Balloon Planet SFX: Zapsplat, Artlist, freesound.org, moviesounds.org Writ...

Alexine has a tasty experience while cruising the deli section.  She tells you about some of the wide variety of characters that she cleans for.  And oh, then there's Apollo... just wait til you hear about him!  Credit: What What - Brick City Kids How Do You Want It - 2Pac I'm Alright - Mop Top Street Dreams - Nas Gin and Juice - Snoop Dogg - performed by Richard Cheese Artlist Music: Mo...

Alexine shares her current car woes, looks back on childhood beaters and wonders whether or not backyard mechanics need penises or not.  This episode's artwork shows her in her home away from home; ready to launch a wad of what? And you'll find out about her handy friend who now sports a penis. Wow, that's a lot of penises in an episode description.  Credit: The Princess Bride movie...

This episode takes you from sex toys to YouTuber Angry Grandpa to big fat buds... Alexine is tantalized by her friend's tasty sex life while she plows on through her new 'career' choice. She eludes to her son and his choices of YouTubers. You can view the visual / video version of this episode here .  You will need to sign into your YouTube account and confirm that you are 18+ becau...

This episode takes you from The Zohan to Joey Diaz to The Revenant... Find out about Alexine's humble digs, her beloved old dog and her love of getting crafty! Learn more about her son Harvey and his own story telling skills. <<<if you listened to this episode (#3) on Spotify and you're wondering where #2 is, then Spotify still doesn't like the censored version of the artwo...

This episode takes you from Dexter's Doakes to Suicidal Tendencies to penny pinching... Alexine gets fired from her management job and starts a not-so-glamourous chapter of her life on the beautiful BC coast. #makemoistgreatagain A YouTube video of this first episode was created thanks to a grant from Canada Media Fund / TeleFilm.  You can view the visual / video version of this episode here...