Afterbite

This week on afterbite we say goodbye to the last good season of TVD. Elena’s sleepy, Tyler’s wolfy, Matt’s destined to be a cop now? There’s a lot going on here.

We’re Jolaric stans for life! Or for the rest of their lives. Or… well… you know...

TVD 06x20 | We continue to be proud haters. Lily makes a promise to Stefan. Alaric and Jo are Loser4Loser.

One thing about Lily Salvatore? She’s gonna be a hater and she’s gonna cause a kerfuffle. Caroline has an average airbnb experience. Enzo fixes his mommy issues. Damon develops more mommy issues. Perfectly balanced, or whatever.

TVD 06x18 | The Vampire Diaries writers kind of attempt to therapize their characters this week and they’re doing a pretty bad job of it! Elena is uncomfortable when we are not about her. We finally get Enzo’s full name! There’s gay people on screen! Matt’s secretly on grindr!

Good throuples and bad throuples abound this episode! Alaric and Enzo have the most efficient character arcs. I cut like 20 minutes of Pretty Little Liars talk, you’re welcome.

TVD 06x16 | Bee and Brian have too much fun with soundboards. Caroline is in her villain era. Literally nothing else matters but her evil schemes. Oh, Bonnie and Jeremy break up too but we've been there done that before.

TVD 06x12 | This is the most we’ve liked Elena in a while. Bonnie’s Blair Witchin’ it, Damon gives the worst advice in the world, and Lily Salvatore starts her road to girlbossification.

This episode is so cruel. We’re gonna cry. Jeremy leaves us but more importantly and heartbreakingly: Liz dies. That’s it, that’s the description. I’m too sad to write any more. Find us on socials: AfterbitePod

06x13 | Liv’s on a sinking ship and she’s LOVING IT. Kai makes a personality change. Caroline unearths a body in the woods.

Kai's in a new era, both in his evil and also his sexuality. Delena takes a firm right turn into annoying again. Liz and Caroline break our hearts.

He’s gay, he’s evil, he’s mostly always right. I didn’t say his name but he popped into your head, didn’t he? Caroline’s not in her right mind. Brian’s in his synopsis era.

Damon’s the voice of reason for once, so color us surprised. Bonnie is doing a Taylor Swift music video. Luke is gay and he’s right but that doesn’t make him have gay rights.

Caroline’s not in this episode so of course crimes occur. Arson, insurance fraud, murder, you name a major crime, we’ve got it! Tyler’s getting back into our good graces, Matt’s falling out of them again, and Stefan remains on our shitlist.

Our schedule is changing! We're going to an every other Friday schedule, just to account for the fact that we're all a lot more busy than we've ever been. This week we meet some of our favorite big bads, don’t make jokes, and also realize that Joshua Parker is kinda a dilf.

TVD 06x07 | We're back this week and we're thriving! Elena, however, is not. Bonnie also is not thriving. Caroline though? Caroline's thriving.

TVD 06x06 | Bee and Brian are clearly going through it this week, because they say that they kinda like Damon at least three times. Elena’s making terrible choices (like jumping out of windows) and great choices (like wanting her memories back). Jo is just… so hot. Alaric is… just a guy. We’ll be back in the new year!

TVD 06x05 | Bee tells like three insane stories back to back and thinks nothing of it. We’re Bamon shippers now, against all odds. Tyler’s having a no good very bad day. Liam’s most exciting character moment is when he’s NOT annoying for once. It’s Weezer time!

TVD 06x04 | The worst day of Damon’s life is like… a regular Thursday. Elena’s really good at yes and-ing. Kai remains wonderful and terrible.

TVD 06x03 | Stefan’s out of his bit era and into his being a douchebag era. Elena’s in her sitcom era. Jeremy’s in his hoe era. Everybody’s in some sort of era, and very very few of them are good!

TVD 06x02 | Enzo is the ultimate feminist. Caroline hurts some feelings. Elena finally forgets Damon. Brian imparts some incredible Comic Con deep cuts upon us.  The skit we referenced: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkCBi1Kla3s New episodes every Friday! Our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/afterbite

TVD 06x01 | AND WE'RE BACK! Someone looks like Idina Menzel but Brian's not sure who, Matt Donovan's a vampire racist, and Nina Dobrev had an insane time at Comic Con in 2014.  Link to the HitFix interview we talk about extensively: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3eQot05Z1w

Bee and Brian bring u the final wrap up of this season of Afterbite: Season 5 of The Vampire Diaries! This was easier than we thought, actually, once you discard all the really really bad episodes you're left with just a few golden nuggets of good good dorky teen tv. Nina Dobrev the real person deserves literally all the awards for this season, she's the only thing holding this ship together. We'r...

We're finally here with our Originals season one wrap up episode! We  talk about how this might just be the best season of a tvdu show...  ever. We rank every episode, we ask "wait what was this episode about" like a million times, we have FUN!

TVD 5x22 | Jourdann forgot to watch the finale before we sat down to record this episode, and things really do not get better from there.  Damon's obnoxious but he's really making it work for him this episode I'm not gonna lie. Jeremy and Bonnie remain a top tier couple. What's  that? Oh my god it's Bamon coming in at the last second with a steel chair!