Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

"For me the action is the juice" Episode 99 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 armoured car ramming, street shootouting, GREAT ASSing classic Heat. Ryan and Mark talk about the deaths of Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan, the Coldplay couple and decide on who is better, Pacino or De Niro. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you...

"Nobody puts baby in the corner" Episode 98 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 watermelon carrying, backstreet abortioning, time of my lifeing classic Dirty Dancing. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson's holiday scam, autistic celebrities and why Swayze deserved a better career. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like t...

"I told you I'm different. I could have dropped you with the sharks." Episode 97 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Sphinx squatting, Colliseum scrapping, blond Samuel L Jacksoning disaster Jumper. Ryan and Mark talk about things being gay, Cullen ruining yet another Whatsapp group and why Hayden Christiansen has less charisma than a toilet roll tube.  Please...

"Sell me this pen." Episode 96 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2013 dwarf tossing, lude tanning, fun couponing classic The Wolf Of Wall Street. Ryan and Mark talk about Bonnie Blue, lawless golf and whether this film glamourises being a horrible human being.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future...

"I say kill them all, and let fate sort out the mess." Episode 95 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 keyboard smashing, rat exploding, bullet bending classic Wanted. Ryan and Mark talk about fridges, the population of Andorra and what Arnold Schwarzenegger says during sex.   Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like t...

"Have you ever heard the expression "Let sleeping dogs lie"? Sometimes you're better off not knowing." Episode 94 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1974 water warring, nose slicing, sister and daughtering classic Chinatown. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson dying his hair again, World War 3 and the horribleness of Roman Polanski.  Please get in touch and let us know...

"Did you ever get busted for bopping?" Episode 93 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 tractor chickening, mill swinging, Sunday shoe kicking offing disaster Footloose Ryan and Mark talk about the size of Cullen balls, Chat GPT and why no one in the film can actually dance. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to s...

“Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” Episode 92 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 enamel making, red coat wearing, hope reaffirming classic Schindler's List. Ryan and Mark talk about Sydney Sweeney's bath water, mental books for kids and find out a wild nearly casting for this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wh...

"This is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you." Episode 91 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 , rock climbing, disease creating, motorbike jousting classic Mission Impossible II. Ryan and Mark talk about farting on cakes, Napoli and why Ethan Hunt is the way he is with women. Please get in t...

"It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease" Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath worming, exploding in a barn-ing classic Slither. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's memorable taxi journey, blood tests and why this is the most fucked up film they have seen in a long time.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the po...

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve" Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 child smoking, leech pulling, competitive pie eating classic Stand By Me. Ryan and Mark talk about  if certain things would get you arrested, Cullen conquering LA and how you should remove a leech. Please get in touch and let us know if you en...

"I'm your huckleberry" Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic Tombstone. Ryan and Mark talk about how pish coffee is, golf and what character we would be in a Western. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film....

"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch" Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson asks the most controversial question on the podcast to date. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on...

"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!" Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying classic Mississippi Burning. Ryan and Mark talk about Judas, Willem Dafoe's cock and Cullen reveals the most mental thing he almost did. Please get in touch and...

"Guns don't kill people. People kill people" Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes and Nelson gets Cullen with the best one for a while. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in fut...

"You've got red on you" Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes and the best weapon to kill a zombie. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...

“Allow myself to introduce... myself.” Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and disagree over how hot Elizabeth Hurley is.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episod...

“You gotta always protect the McNuggets” Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel talk about WhatsApp group nicknames, Karl Urban & fight about their movie tastes. Normal service resumes next week when Nelson is back from the Alps.  Ple...

"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"." Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk about St Paddy's Day, Nelson's first lads holiday and find out the dogs were the real stars of this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy...

"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?" Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger bleeding, Caravaning classic Whiplash. Mark & Ryan talk about breakfast in a bag, the Glastonbury line up and what is more important, greatness or happiness? Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to...

"Nice beaver" Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic The Naked Gun. Mark & Ryan talk about modern audiences, getting out of jury duty, and why this film deserved an Oscar. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and...

"I suppose a ride is out of the question?" Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with the ladsing, drinking while pregnanting classic The Snapper. Mark & Ryan discuss eating chicken in bed, Popes and whether this is the most Irish film ever made.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you...

"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking, Chardonnay drinking, massive pant wearing horror show Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark & Ryan discuss Amsterdam, Ozempic and why there only seemed to be about 12 English actors through the whole of the 90s/2000s.  Please get in touch and let us know i...

"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum" Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 wasp choking, Owen Wilson shagging, sneering at J-Loing classic Anaconda. Mark & Ryan discuss ruining wrestling for kids, Cullen Oscar play offing Nelson and fucking JON VOIGT. Please get in touch and let us know...

"Swing away Merrill" Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking classic Signs. Mark & Ryan discuss what they would do to each other's corpses, where Cullen has stuck his inhaler and Nelson presents another of his theories about this film.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what...