Trader Hoes

We’re getting pretty fresh in this episode as we brush up on Trader Joe’s holiday peppermint items and learn which ones are a refreshing surprise and which err on the side of toothpaste. Plus, we’re bringing back “That’s What She Said” jokes, wondering how affairs work and really questioning if maybe Trader Joe’s is the one that needs a Patreon account.  In the cart:  Peppermint Mini Hold the Cone...

The insulin isn't the only thing getting spiked as the Hoes embark on a holiday tradition: getting tipsy on Trader Joe's chocolate liqueurs. From the fancy to the figgy, it's a sugary showdown verging on a shit show -- a 50th episode shit show! Not in the cart: Evie's 23andMe results, vodka saunas and CBD candles.  In the cart:  Chocolate Liqueur Cherries Coco Cream Liqueur  Wintery Blend Brandy B...

The holidays have hit, Hoes, and we are munching ahead full blast, starting with Trader Joe’s holiday cookies. Plus, we tease some exciting news (be sure to follow us on Instagram at @realtraderhoes to get the details), buy into Cyber Monday, discuss how we feel about cats, and tell the story of Evie getting fan struck for the first time!  In the cart:  Trader Joe’s and the Astounding Multi-Flavor...

We are so thankful for you Hoes, and just as thankful for Trader Joe’s Thanksgiving fixings! From the corner-cutting classics to the festive fusions that only Joe himself could create these Hoes are all aboard this grocery gravy train. Not on the train: Evie’s secret family stuffing, Paul Hollywood’s soggy bottom and chicken milk.  In the cart: Pistachio Pomegranate Crisps Scalloped Potatoes Quatt...

In this episode, the Hoes get a little silly, fusilli that is, as they take a bite out of Trader Joe’s frozen, single-serve pasta selection. It’s Evie’s turn to exhibit a horrible accent, Katie unveils her idea for a new breastaurant, and they both question Joe’s understanding of Italian food.  In the cart: Fusilli with Vegetables & Basil Pesto Ricotta & Spinach Tortelloni with Red Pesto F...

It’s an epic wrap battle featuring Trader Joe’s finest assortment of tortilla-wrapped fusions. But this pre-made matchup may be more than these Hoes bargained for. Get ready for a rollercoaster of low-carb concoctions, high-steaks tuna and — heaven help us — Katie’s weird moles.  In the cart: - Tuna Salad Wrap - Cubano Seasoned Wrap - Rainbow Wrap - Turkey Club Wrap - Turkey Gobbler Wrap Support t...

Well, Hoes, they've made it to the finale of the Pumpkin Pilgrimage and are closing it out with a smorgas-gourd of Trader Joe's pumpkin products. They're talking everything from liqueur to dog treats, all while struggling with sheet masks, pronunciations, and why Pumpkin Spice never made it into the Spice Girls.  In the cart:  Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Face Mask Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale Pumpkin...

The Hoes are taking on Trader Joe's Halloween items, and the puns aren't even the scariest part. Katie and Evie learn how to fight their fears, try to figure out who even likes candy corn, and avoid disappointing Lizzo at all costs.  In the cart:  Haunted House Chocolate Cookie Kit Candy Corn Popcorn Glimmering Pumpkin Sugar-Coated Sugar Cookies spooky Half Moon Cookies Boo Bark Chocolate Mousse P...

It’s Part Five of our Pumpkin Series, Hoes! And these star bitches all about Trader Joe’s sweet, sweet pumpkin spice snacks. From bars to barks, cones to cake, it’s a nonstop striptease of inexplicably boob-shaped treats.  In the cart: Pumpkin Cheesecake  Pumpkin Spices Pumpkin Seeds This Pumpkin Walks Into a Bar Spiced Pumpkin Madeleine Cookies Pumpkin Ginger Hold the Cone Organic Pumpkin Spice G...

The Hoes are hitting a wall with Trader Joe’s nonstop pumpkin parade but they’re powering through thanks to these oh-so-easy, oh-so-lazy breakfast items. Sure, they may just be glorified dessert. And yes, they’re washing it down with breakfast wine. But hey, that’s exactly what Evie’s going to need when she finds out Katie has never, not even once in her fall-loving life, tried a Starbucks pumpkin...

The Hoes are on part three of their pumpkin pilgrimage, and things are getting personal. After the most prep that they’ve ever put into an episode, expectations were high for this fancy pumpkin breakfast. They read instructions (or tried to), identified “seasoned crevices” as the best part of a baked good, and revealed the existence of specific voices that Evie uses for her dogs.  In the cart:  Pu...

The third installment of Ho-ing It Out holds a smattering of firsts for The Hoes. It’s the first time Trader Joe’s virgin, Zack McCarty, sets foot inside a store. It’s the first time the Hoes record on location. And it’s the first time an episode resembles MTV’s The Real World. Things get salty and sweet, the Hoes imagine several innovative concepts (brosé and pumpkin spice vibrators, to name a fe...

It's part two of our Trader Joe's Pumpkin Series, and the Hoes are going all in on the savory seasonals -- as well as people who leave voicemails, balcony falcons (falconies?) and Katie's not-so-subtle pitch to the TJ's demo station associate about this very podcast. Get out of those jeans and into some sweatpants, Hoes, 'cause this autumnal episode is HEARTY.  In the cart: Autumnal Harvest Alfred...

Hoes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, and the harvest has been bountiful, as Joe himself would apparently say. The Hoes are embarking on a pumpkin pilgrimage, and you better believe this is only part one. Get cozy and get ready for an ungodly amount of pumpkin, Sailor Moon’s autumnal cousin, Harvest Moon, a slight grammar lesson and the introduction of the Unigourd. In the cart: Vanilla...

The Hoes throw themselves a frozen fiesta courtesy of Trader Joe. And the only thing more adorable than the tiny tacos is their new recording studio: Katie’s childhood bedroom. Program that microwave, because we’re about serve up some mini Mexican apps, Kosher wine trivia and — what the hell —  some movie recs.  In the cart:  -Dearly Beloved I Thee Red -Mini Beef Tacos -Mini Chicken Tacos -Black B...

The Hoes play their own version of Candy Land this week, and the ending isn't exactly as sweet as they'd hoped. They also try to sink their teeth into some of life's burning questions. Is Trader Joe's heading to Europe? Is white chocolate even chocolate? Are children's pool floaties now fashionable bracelets? They might not have discovered any answers, but their dentists will most likely discover...

It’s not Goose but it’ll do. From the cold-pressed to the hard to impress, the Hoes sample Trader Joe’s juice selection and barely make it out with their stomachs intact. This episode is a gut punch of Mother Nature’s refined-est, Olivia Wilde trivia (or should we say Olivia Cockburn?) and whatever the hell Yam Beans are.  In the cart:  Organic Ginger & Turmeric Juice Shots Organic No Joke Gin...

This week, the Hoes are revisiting something that caused quite a stir the first time around: Dips. They're giving out second chances, falling in love with newbies, trying to corrupt innocent Trader Joe, mispronouncing everything, and maybe even proposing a Trader Hoes Instagram DM group.  In the cart:  Simpler Wines Rose Organic Creamy Cashew Fiesta Dip Pita Chips with Sea Salt Baby Carrots Jalape...

The Hoes are getting icy on this one! It’s a Trader Joe’s ice pop showdown and the reviews are chilling to say the least. Although not as chilling as Dr. Death or the thought of Katie being a licensed surgeon.  In the cart: Mango & Cream Bars Raspberry & Cream Bars Strawberry Greek Frozen Yogurt Parfait Bars Cold Brew Latte Dessert Bars Lime Fruit Floes Fruit Frenzy Bars Support the show

For the second installment of Ho-ing It Out, the Hoes are so excited to welcome Ali Dugaw, A.K.A. Gluten Free Travel Girl and producer of Arizona’s Family . Ali brings with her a smattering of gluten-free snacks and from the get-go, it’s clear she’s already a Pro Ho. The Hoes also have the great honor of introducing Ali to the Eloté Corn Chip Dippers, and Katie divulges her past as a circus perfor...

Get hyped because The Hoes are sipping on Trader Joe’s canned cold brew this week, and you know things got intense and jittery. They paired these brews with two heavenly coffee cake miracles, which honestly saved the day, and a bit of scatting, discussion of milk varieties, the Commandments of Trader Josef, a breakdown of our family trees and a heated debate about whether cakes are breads or not. ...

Holy ravioli, Batman! The Hoes are deep diving into some serious refrigerated pasta from Trader Joe's — or should we say, Trader Giotto’s? This carboloaded episode also comes with hot takes on Lady Gaga’s pronunciation of “pasta,” discussions of who would make a better phone sex worker, and the Hoes’ newest invention, dessert pasta.  In the cart: Phigment Red Wine Blend Tomato Basil Marinara Arugu...

It's Katie's birthday, so she chose to review the ultimate birthday dessert: Pie, duh. Of course the Hoes had to kick it off with Katie's favorite frozen pie ever, but then things took a turn. They explore whether pie crusts could actually be made out of farts or not, try to translate modern slang and take a particularly embarrassing stroll down Thanksgiving memory lane. Happy birthday, Katie!  In...

This week, the Hoes are putting their tamale sommelier skills to the test while tasting Trader Joe’s fresh tamale selection and a few side pieces to round things out. And the favorite choice? Well, the Hoes did not see it coming. They also dish on which Spice Girl they wish they were, items they wish TJ’s carried, their joint celebrity name and Molotov cocktails.  In the cart: Reposado Tequila Que...

The Hoes go HAM on some frozen burgers and discover a new favorite condiment in the process. Plus, Evie reveals that she knows absolutely nothing about beer, and Katie somehow segues into that one time she saw a dead body. Naturally. In the cart: Grass Fed Angus Beef Burgers Honey Pale Ale Mustard Hamburger Buns  Trader José Premium Lager Chili Lime Chicken Burgers Turkey Burgers Ground Buffalo Bu...