Trader Hoes

This week, it’s all about that new new. We enrobe ourselves in a mini roundup of some especially tempting newbies that we’ve been eyeing for weeks. While we finally dive in, Evie learns what Reno 911 is, Katie discovers that movie theaters have flavored popcorn and we share our newest call to action: Drop the names, Joe.  🛒 In the cart: Crispy Banana Ribbons  Berry Flavored Soft Licorice Twists H...

We’re going to start things out on a bit of a serious note, Hoes. This past week, a petition surfaced that called for Trader Joe’s to remove the racist names (Trader Ming’s, Trader Jose’s, Trader Giotto’s, etc) from their products. Trader Joe’s response was less than satisfactory, to say the least. We decided to proceed with the episode as planned this week, but we’ll keep you posted on any decisi...

Okay, Hoes, we know everything is cake now, but is pink a fruit? We answer this and so many other burning questions this week while sipping on some oh-so-refreshing lemonades and one limeade that fixed our posture. We also ponder the disturbing origins of pink lemonade, invite you into Evie’s test kitchen and fondly remember the good ol’ days at buffets.  🛒 In the cart: Low-Calorie Pink Lemonade...

Despite our discussion of laundry habits and preferred dairy alternatives, this episode’s cool factor is still through the roof thanks to some new and new-to-us Trader Joe’s ice cream. Plus, all Katie wants for her birthday this week is for you to believe that her sweaty thighs really did betray her at a middle school pool party way back when.  🛒In the cart:  Matcha Green Tea Ice Cream Non-Dairy...

In honor of the country once again becoming obsessed with Hamilton , we’re doing our own little “Cabinet Battle” of sorts as we put two Trader Joe’s items up against their OG counterparts. But unlike the Tony’s golden child, this production includes botched lyrics, a new movie pitch for Pixar, some bonsai tree discoveries, and a call to cancel bras once and for all. Just you wait, just you wait. ...

It's been a long time coming, Hoes, but the moment has finally arrived. We officially taste the wonder that is Trader Joe’s Scandinavian Swimmers. And to quench Katie’s renewed thirst for knowledge, we share the definition of a Karen, the difference between a marlin and a swordfish, and the fact that no water is required to enjoy the Swimmers.  In the cart:  Cauliflower Jalapeno Dip  Scandinavian...

With COVID-19 sweeping the state, we had to get a little creative this week. Enter Hoe and Tell. We rounded up Trader Joe’s items old and new from our kitchens and shared our unsynchronized feastinis, our love of women raising up other women, and our gratitude for not having to smell each other.  In the cart (kind of): Butter Chicken Palak Paneer Naan  Sparkling Watermelon Juice  Breaded Chicken T...

Things get pretty spicy this week, and we’re not just talking about Katie “Quick Pick” Bravo’s threats and perspective on practical jokes. It’s a jalapeño showdown with an extra sweet treat to top it all off. Plus, we try to figure out the average lifespan of a cat, Scandinavians’ virility, and just how gross thinly sliced hot dogs would be on a charcuterie board.  In the cart:  Pickled Fermented...

Pickle Popcorn is back, Hoes! But is pickle still the flavor of the summer? Based on these items, watermelon may be taking its place. We also divulge our house guest snooping habits, confirm that we both still have trash palates, and continue to navigate the perils of recording remotely.  In the cart:  Sparkling Watermelon Juice  Organic Watermelon Jerky Watermelon Cucumber Cooler  Organic Waterme...

Hey, Hoes. It is not lost on us that it is our privilege as white women that allows us to sit safely in our homes and record an entertainment podcast. We do want to try to bring some levity to your day, but first, say that we stand against racism and the horrible violence, murders, and inequality that led to the recent protests across the country. To our black listeners, we are with you.  In this...

Spoiler alert: Quarantine has gotten weird, Hoes. We fell down a dark, twisted Trader Joe’s Test Kitchen rabbit hole and stumbled upon some equally dark, twisted tangents along the way. We find out how Katie truly feels about her grandmother, glimpse the intimate side of recording remotely and ponder if Katie’s dad is Michael Jordan’s doppelgänger. Oh, and we do talk about a few new TJ’s items...e...

Hoes, we are back! Times are crazy and weird right now, but we fought off our quarantine-induced inner demons long enough to hook these ol’ mics up to Zoom and answer your questions from Instagram. Thank you, kind Hoes, for your queries and for grinning and bearing it through the lags, connection glitches, and general tech quirks that have become our new normal. Join us as we discover why Katie ca...

It’s quarantine time and you better believe the Hoes stocked up on some Trade Joes rations. Well, technically they’re just items Evie’s been accumulating in her kitchen for roughly a year but you get the gist. From frozen apps to salty snacks, it’s a nonperishable parade of never-before-featured foods. Also on the menu, ideas for the next Pixar film, Evie's distorted music knowledge and Katie’s sa...

Well, Hoes, it was bound to happen. It took 10 episodes into season two, but we have found the item that will divide us as much in 2020 as Trader Joe’s Fig & Olive and Raisin & Rosemary Crisps did in 2019. It’s the donut. We discovered this week that we are on very opposite ends of the spectrum between liking raised and cake donuts. Which do you prefer? Along with several other breakfast b...

RIP Joe Coulombe. You turned Hawaiian shirt Fridays into a daily uniform, created a wine selection that put other grocery chains to shame, and provided us with the snacks we didn’t know we needed and now can’t live with out. Wherever you are, we hope there’s pickle popcorn.  In this episode, the Hoes are hitting up Trader Joe’s bagged salad section for half-assed healthy eating. Get ready a toss u...

This week, Katie said it best: “It’s 2020. We’re not saying sorry, and we’re putting Elote seasoning on everything.” Yep, we’re doing a taste test with the brand new Everything But The Elote Seasoning Blend with some help from our Hoes. We took your suggestions and discovered just what this Elote stuff can do. We also reveal a new business idea, debate which president we think is hottest, and cele...

The Hoes are serving up some serious culture with the help of Trader Joe’s many (MANY) yogurts. From dairy alternatives to desserts in disguise, it’s a live and active assortment of gut-fortifying breakfast food. Not on the menu: Evie’s coconut trauma, Katie’s hypothetical son, Rice-A-Roni , and some very distorted Mighty Ducks references.  In the cart: Organic Creamy Cashew Cultured Strawberry Yo...

To celebrate the season of love, we’re falling for a few of Trader Joe’s Valentine’s Day items and ghosting others. We’re also trying to woo you with one of the worst Irish accents you’ve ever heard, Homestar Runner references, and the discovery of Yonic Energy, which will be fueling all of our self-love for the rest of forever. 🛒In The Cart: French Macrons The Jelly Bean Lover’s Jelly Bean Heart...

The Hoes are getting healthyish with Trader Joe's dehydrated helping of fruits and veggies. Crank up the sodium and crunch down on Mother Nature's refinedest because this episode is serving up some savory lewks. Also on the menu: The Beets 90s hit "Killer Tofu," Gardetto's seasoning and Evie's short-lived Girl Scout career.  In the cart: Trader Joe's Contemplated Peas on Earth Just Beets Jerk-Syle...

🎶This is the story of two hoes, Who missed a few new things at Trader Joe’s. And while they sound so sad in episodes, You absolutely love them when they yeet. 🎶  Um, anyway, besides dissecting the role sad girls had on ‘90s music, we also did a little backtracking and rounded up the newish, buzz-worthy items that we missed over the past few months. Plus, we pondered why OBGYNs don’t give out goo...

The Hoes are doing Dry January - and in typical fashion, Katie is starting it two weeks late.  But they’re not stressing because surely Trader Joe has them covered with his fine selection of nonalcoholic bevies, right? RIGHT? Get ready for juice twists no one asked for, scented marker flashbacks and the old timely tunes of Ashlee Simpson.  In the cart: Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend Lemon Gin...

This week, we’ve got your resolution solutions. You know, if your 2020 goal is to bring your lunch to work more often. Either way, we’re sampling Trader Joe’s frozen bowls, wishing for an adult version of Gymboree, and getting the theme song of “Gullah Gullah Island” stuck in your head. Plus, Katie tries shrimp for possibly the first time ever, and Evie teaches her how to say “Bibimbap” for defini...

It’s 2020 and the Hoes are seeing double. This week, Evie and Katie invite their significant others to review new finds and favorites from their local TJ’s. Do these Trader Bros have what it takes to bring Joe’s epic product descriptions to life? Will Evie ever settle on her next indie band name? Can Katie fit through a dog door? Find out on this special new year episode!  In the cart: Creamy Roas...

Happy New Year, Hoes! To celebrate having kept this podcast going for a full year, we're looking back at some of our favorite and most traumatic moments of the past year. From new Trader Joe's staples to one item that almost ended the show entirely, we're going over the good, the bad, and the idiotic (mostly us) from the past year of Trader Hoes. Top 10 Items Kept In The Cart: -Organic Elote Corn...

The Hoes are closing out their holiday series with a seasonal classic: the tin. From popcorn trios to something that may or may not be a drug on Riverdale, its a sweet-meets-savory showcase of Trader Joes’ one-and-done gifting. And just for good measure, they’re throwing in some phallic New Year’s Eve gummies, a caramel guessing game and some waffle cookies Katie can’t pronounce.  In the cart: Jin...