The Self Help Antidote

Send a text This episode challenges the notion of "no regrets." On the one hand, ruminating over our regrets or even being defined by them can deplete the joy from our lives, leaving us stuck.  On the other hand however, our regrets give us insight into our values.  Regrets are important as they give us clarity about who and what matters most.    Me Tiff dive into the subject of regret,...

Send a text Visualization is a highly popular topic amongst self-help gurus and athletic coaches alike.  But does it really work?  If so, how?   Are all forms of visualization equal?  Me and Tiff will unpack this and more in this episode. I was under the weather during this episode, so I was recording from my new empty apartment, rather than the studio.  Apologies for any issues with sound.   Visi...

Send a text What happens when our beliefs have such a strong hold on us that we are not even open to  questioning them, not to mention changing them, despite evidence to the contrary?  Worse, we remain steadfast in our beliefs even when they serve no benefit and even do us harm.   For example the belief that "hard work" is the single key to success resulting in hard work for the sake of...

Send a text Who's your 'one' in terms of your message. Who are you speaking to? Who needs your words, insights and perspectives? In a world where Instagram likes, public accolades and vain popularity feeds our starving egos, how often do we reflect on who it is that we are aiming to reach and impact in our work? We also talk about the whole New Years resolution thing, because well,...

Send a text This episode is filled with practical wisdom and valuable takeaways that you can use in your daily life immediately.   I spoke with my guest at length about his journey from early childhood challenges, and trauma growing up in Philadelphia, to how he found a positive emotional outlet for his struggles through sport.  He shares the lessons he learned as well as the foundational attribut...

Send a text Kicking off with the hard-hitting questions today with 'Is this the best life for my cat?'.  It's the age-old question, am I enough? Or does Bear need more support in order to endure life with TC? As always, simple questions go far deeper than necessary (or deep as absolutely necessary, perhaps?).  We reflect on the inevitable growth, evolution and development of little...

Send a text  Today with Tiff we are talking about her obsession with words and language, given the words we use and how we use them influences not only how we interact and engage with others but also our own understanding of ourselves and our inner world. We hear some alcohol stories and share some thoughts on what is and isn't perhaps an idea relationship with booze. And, of course, we share...

Send a text This episode is among other things, a conversation about gratitude, curiosity, love and connection.  Things that cultivate meaningful relationships, drive us to grow, find fulfillment and enrich the lives of those around us.      Over the years I have had many conversations with my guest for this episode.  Every one of them has both deeply engaged, as well as fascinated me.  This was n...

Send a text This topic was difficult for me.  Growing up with Tourette's, I understand how unforgiving some people can be towards anyone who is different.  Tourette's can be the very embodiment of different.   I would not ever want to have a go at anyone with a legitimate affliction.  However, viewing the increasing number of people with Tourette's on social media, something seems.....

Send a text Have you ever wondered what impression people have of you?  What would you think of  someone just like you?    In this maniacal and sometimes tangential episode, me and Tiff cover a lot of ground.  Speaking of which, we discuss everything from the ankle-foot complex, (no we don’t have a foot fetish) and how it attenuates forces when your foot hits the ground, to why Nostradamus may be...

Send a text What is it that makes us immediately trust or dislike someone?  How we know when our perceptions are being shaped by our stories and other peoples biases?  Perhaps more importantly, when should we question our intuition and when should we pay attention to what it's trying to tell us?   And arguably the most irritating and confronting question of this episode, is it our mistrust of...

Send a text What defines us?    With all the messages we receive daily, admonishing us to be or do something, what is the common thread through which all of us are interwoven?    Returning to The Self Help Antidote for yet another fascinating and provocative conversation is Daniel Ellenberg PhD, a leadership coach, licensed therapist, organizational trainer and executive advisor.    Dr. Ellenberg...

Send a text For some, starting and sticking with an exercise program can be baffling.  Where do I start?  Should I join a gym?  Hire a trainer? Coach?  Take a class?   Do more cardio?  Resistance training?  Do an online program?  What exactly do I do?   To make it even more complicated, many of the exercise gurus dispensing advice seem to contradict each other.   Even though there's no one de...

Send a text Perhaps a  critical lesson in happiness is that when you're unsure about what to do, do the right thing.  Let your values, principles and kindness guide you.   It's arguable that expertise is the development of informed distinctions.  Even with the development of expertise there are so many variables and biases that we are all bound to get it wrong from time to time.  The mor...

Send a text What are the attributes and unique abilities that define you?    You will never be as energized, or fulfilled as when you know your value.  Making a contribution to others by doing work you love may be one of the hallmarks of a successful life.  But what if you don't know what your unique areas of value are? In this episode Dr. Winifred Bragg suggests that you can learn a lot abou...

Send a text When we seek out change, what is it we are really after?  In this episode me and Tiff discuss changing for the sake of change vs. intentional change.   What makes people masters of change vs. victims of change?  What is the key to recovering from disappointments and setbacks, even becoming better as a result of them? More so, what is one factor that can make the difference between a st...

Send a text Are you perceived flaws actually a superpower? Seamus Evans would say yes.  He believes that adversity can either be a setback or a gateway. Seamus has been a stand up comic, radio and television personality, with quick wit and a passion for creating inclusivity through entertainment.    During the outset of the pandemic Seamus like many others found his world turned upside down.  He w...

Send a text What defines us?  Is it our environment?  Our relationships?  Or is it both of these?  Maybe its something more?   Aside from our usual banter and pontifications, in this episode me and Tiff discuss: Responding to feedback constructively Self-awareness and why it's critical Chasing superficial validation Addiction Narcissism  The power of our words  Why as a leader you should catc...

Send a text How much does our environment effect our behavior?  We believe that the answer is quite a bit actually.   People talk about the importance of using willpower as a vehicle for change.  While willpower is important, it often fails.  One reason why we say this is because long-term willpower is not nearly as effective a strategy as understanding your intrinsic reward systems, highest value...

Send a text We are always impacting the quality of our relationships; for better or worse, by design or by default.   Whether you are in sales, management, or own your own business, the most powerful resource you have are your people.  Nurture your relationships and like any good investment they will appreciate exponentially.  Make too many withdrawals and not enough deposits, and they will become...

Send a text What is the key to effective leadership?  According to CEO, author and entrepreneur Ryan Larson, it’s the ability to listen empathetically, learn continually, stay calm under fire and instill confidence in others.  One day, when a fire broke out at his place of work, everyone in the building was evacuated immediately.  As the fire department arrived, everyone stood in the parking lot l...

Send a text Play is not in fact a distraction from high performance in our lives and work, but a critical driver of it.  It’s crucial to our connection to one another, brain development, and imagination; stoking the creative flame in all of us.   Amidst reminiscing on childhood memories of growing up in Brooklyn (Me). and Tassie (Tiffanee), my childhood crush on the late and incomparable Olivia Ne...

Send a text If you buy a self help book written by someone else, does it defeat the point?   In this wildly tangential conversation, Tiff and I examine the efficacy of self help.  We also talk about the power of language and semantics.   Then we move onto the exploration of thoughts and understanding how what is meaningful to us is the foundation of our purpose.  What are the downfalls of being ov...

Send a text What if the thing that you perceive to be your greatest weakness is in reality your most powerful strength?   I used to believe that my Tourette's and physical deformities were liabilities.  In truth, I was ashamed of them.  While they have presented many challenges, some of which I still need contend with every day, in retrospect they are also the reason for many of the most beau...

Send a text One of our most basic human needs is belonging.  We are hardwired to be part of a tribe, once a survival instinct that kept us alive, that remains deeply embedded in our biology.   But belonging has a dark side... a shadow side.  How much does the drive to belong influence our beliefs, behaviors and perspectives, to keep us in good standing with our tribe?  Our tribe could be a workpla...