The Self Help Antidote

Send a text What is enough?  Regardless of what we are told we need to be, have or do, if our self-worth is not a product of our own intrinsic appraisal, based on our own deeply held values, no matter what we achieve or become, we will always feel as though we are lacking.   In this episode me and Tiff explore ideas around manifestation, affirmations and their validity.  We discuss the strategies,...

Send a text What is the value of an individual’s word?  How do we discern the authentic from the duplicitous?  In this episode Tiffanee and I discuss why you can’t always accept ideas as given.  When is the message true regardless of the messenger, and when do you seriously need to consider the source of information with scrutiny?   An example of this is acclaimed author Napoleon Hill.  According...

Send a text In this episode Tiffanee and I talk about some of the tools and resources that you can leverage (for yourself and others) to facilitate successful behavior change.   What are these tools, why are they important, and how do they work?  Further, we discuss the relationship between competence and confidence.   What are some effective strategies around how you can work towards achieving yo...

Send a text So, after a bit of banter around what’s in a name and “does Bobby have a legitimate job title?”, Tiff and I settled into a fascinating conversation around the inter-complexity of beliefs and behavior change.   Just like the conversation around the proverbial “what came first, the chicken or the egg?”, a popular debate in the self-help arena is “do beliefs influence our behaviors, or do...

Send a text Are the rules and attitudes we have around dating and relationships keeping us from being happy?   And, can we really be friends with our ex's?  These are among the curious questions that Tiffanee and me discuss around dating.   A few different questions we explore around this topic are: How many of us are dating a resume and ticking boxes, rather than the actual person?   How doe...

Send a text What lights you up?   What one change could you make in your life that would not only move you away from pain, anxiety, and frustration, but give you a sense of freedom, even rapture?  What is stopping you from already having what you want?   My guest for this episode is a brilliant, funny, energetic deep thinker, who can help you make meaningful changes in your life by engaging in suc...

Send a text Are you open-minded?  How you answer that question may be an indication.  In this episode Tiff and I explore the forces that shape how we see the world, many of which you may be unaware of.  We talk about how one person’s reality is not necessarily the same as another’s. One of the reasons why we need to appreciate paradox.     When we are willing to acknowledge that (although it’s som...

Send a text Are you repeatedly pre-occupied by thoughts that give you anxiety, cause you to worry, perhaps become angry?  Or do you just simply feel that you could use a bit of calm in your life? No, this isn't an advert about a new pill, it's about the subject of this episode.    Many people who have answered yes to any aspect of those questions have turned to Emotional Freedom Techniqu...

Send a text Learning and development isn't just about answering questions but provoking them.  The people who believe that they have all the answers, are probably the very ones who are not asking nearly enough questions.   Questions provoke our curiosity, they inspire as well as challenge us.  They help us to understand ourselves and others.  We may not have all the answers, yet we can be fie...

Send a text Henry David Thoreau once observed that "the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."   It's that grey shadowy space of our existence where our unhappiness hasn't afflicted us so severely that we have this sense of urgency to change; but we can't help feel a lingering dissatisfaction.   Maybe your job no longer fulfills you?  You could be disenchanted in yo...

Send a text Sexy Messy: A practice for freedom, rapture and bliss What would your life be like if even during times of stress and uncertainty, you could experience a sense of meaning, freedom and presence?   Although in the end it can be beautiful, transformation is messy.  Yet, when you decide that transformation is not an option, but a devotion, even in moments of chaos it can be freeing, even r...

Send a text This week me and Tiffanee talk about the ego.  What is it?  How can a healthy ego benefit us and when can it get in the way, leading to unwanted consequences?  How do we keep our ego in check? We also talked about the line between self-compassion and the need for self-honesty.  When we feel stuck, sometimes the discipline to move forward is what's needed.   Yet, when times get rea...

Send a text “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.  And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”  - R.D. Lang What are two attributes that are most critical to leadership?   Having the awareness to know what type of leader you are, certainly is impor...

Send a text Ernest Hemmingway said that "the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."  This was a deep and at times painful episode.  Me and Tiffanee were in good spirits, relatively.  We recorded this episode on her birthday.  I had no idea.  Yeah, some friend I am.   But days before something happened.  It was likely the saddest day of Tiffanee’s entir...

Send a text In this episode Tiffanee and I tackle some of the more significant existential questions in life.  And some hilariously trivial ones as well.  Regardless of how we interpret our lives and the larger world around us, what is one central responsibility we all share?  If we construct our lives through imagination, observation, and endeavor, that makes us all artists relative to our experi...

Send a text This is a special episode.  I get to speak with my friend, mentor and former boss, Neal Spruce.  I was working in my first management role in the health and fitness industry.  Our company, a small Gold’s Gym chain in the New York/New Jersey area, took on a new program, APEX Fitness. n We were looking to offer a more complete nutritional solution to our members.  I was sent to a five-da...

Send a text As usual me and Tiffanee covered a lot of ground in this episode.  By a lot of ground, I mean ADHD driven banter with a caffeine chaser.   However, some poignant topics explored in our conversation include the reasons why your story matters.  We love stories.  We are connected to each other through song, film, novels, biographies and of course our favorite public speakers.  But not all...

Send a text Nowadays the word infectious understandably has some negative connotations.  What we are talking about in this episode however, is how we can powerfully impact others by deepening our understanding of ourselves.   When we better understand and acknowledge why we do what we do, it gives us the insight and compassion to better relate to others.  The ability to cultivate a deeper relation...

Send a text We all struggle with thought patterns that cause us frustration.  Sometimes these thoughts can be debilitating.   Years ago my friend Paul Taylor gave me a book "Brain Lock", by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz.  The 4 steps outlined in that book helped me with a couple of the more stressful aspects of Tourette's.   You may not suffer from Tourette's or clinical Obsessive Compu...

Send a text What if the pursuit of happiness is the thing that stops us from experiencing it?  Have you ever wondered if the ideas that are so often advocated by the self-help industry might just be bad advice?   My guest for this episode is Dr. Daniel Ellenberg.  He is an author, speaker, leadership coach and psychotherapist.   In our conversation we discussed the need for real connection.  What...

Send a text Humorist Josh Billings supposedly quipped, "it ain't so much people's ignorance that does the harm as their knowing so darned much that ain't so."  Our knowledge and beliefs create the mental maps we use to navigate though life.  But what happens when those maps are wrong, leading us astray?  How do our cognitive biases limit us or even do us harm?   Sometimes...

Send a text Things are not always what they seem.  What is reality? Your reality is shaped by your experiences and you interpret them.  The same is true for others.  In fact, we are all having distinct experiences, because we’re all different.  Do you ever feel that rather than being an active creator of your reality, other people’s perspective of reality is being imposed upon you; leaving you stu...

Send a text What does it take to get good at something?  What is your style and rate of learning?  Is one better than the other?  What are the keys to developing the skills necessary to mastery your craft?  And, when is it time to quit?   This week Tiff and I discuss what it takes to master the art of mastery.    Enjoy! Visit us at: www.theselfhelpantidote.com

Send a text In this episode Dr. Robb Kelly shares insights from his work and from his own personal experience about the realities of struggling with addiction.  His uncle gave him his first drink when he was just nine years old.  When I asked him how he defined addiction he said it was “a mental obsession with an aspect of physicality.”  An obsession that addicts will pursue to the detriment of th...

Send a text Where does life and leadership intersect?  In this episode Tiff and I talk about why there is no delineation between business and life.  Pine and Gilmore in their book “The Experience Economy” authors Pine and Gilmore state that “work is theatre, and every business is a stage.”   We wholeheartedly believe this.  Work is an expression of what we value most in life.  There are important...