That Checks Out

The guys discuss how much you should expect to spend on a photo to assure that icing will not desecrate the autograph, when the matching bracelets from your first date mean so much more than the felonies they represent, and why having an extra "cat cubby" will seem monumental when abandoning your newborn and the bin is full of teenagers.

The guys discuss how Spanish sand castles can incur fines, when Swiss urination violates noise ordinances, and why the Australian roll call process is extremely flawed. 

The guys discuss how an amphibian can ruin your cornflakes, when a trip to DUI court ignites a passion for the overpriced wig industry, and why your ability to get a $1.50 hot dog does not entitle you to domestic flights. 

The guys discuss how court ordered restrictions can negatively affect the sale and distribution of cookies, when digging a new canal is more fiscally responsible than ordering a second remote, and why fecally adhered stickers is the leading cause of death in house fires. 

The guys discuss how the perfect pot of coffee paved the way for infant safety, when the best way to find love is to attend as many funerals as possible, and how a realtors disclosure of porch bites is not necessary when listing a property. 

The guys discuss why you can never have too many airbags when there’s a goat in the car, how $200 will not only get Nana a box but also a cosmetic touch-up, and when having a loving husband willing to crap in your driveway can save you $17,500 for a night out. 

The guys discuss how in the 1950’s you could hijack an aircraft every two years with zero repercussions, when a couples retreat to a horse ranch will boost your husband’s confidence, and why stalactites and stalagmites without a tram will kill your reviews. 

The guys discuss why it’s a good idea to keep the interior of your Chevy Cruze clean in the slim chance you may encounter a silverback gorilla, when violent flailing is the ONLY possibility of summoning a lifeguard, and  how gambling on incontinence requires a thorough rinse between rounds. 

The guys discuss why your wedding dinner on the L train tastes so salty, when location can supersede infidelity in a Yelp review, and how “Drop Hog”  has become a real threat to the zipper industry as we know it. 

The guys discuss why a social media HIPAA Law is necessary, when Ciabatta bread is the most romantic path to fresh air, and how Damon will never be more bangable than a muppet. 

The guys discuss why sometimes a second helicopter ride is necessary while trying to find your cell phone, when an improperly supervised child can cause a urinary tract infection, and how all doggie doors are not “Exit Only”. 

The guys discuss what might be the world’s most dangerous apple tree, how many pool balls you can ingest and NOT clog the toilet, and why filling all the holes of your marriage with a donut means you must close up shop for at least one hour a day. 

The guys discuss why you should always secure all penguins pre-flight, when changing altitudes all but guarantees a victory in bear racing,  and how keeping your eggs and car keys in the same pocket of your wetsuit is a huge mistake.

The guys discuss how staying in one room can greatly improve your memory, when a request for unwashed flatulence will result in fornication, and why most Egyptian tombs smell like Chicago style hotdogs. 

The guys discuss why alliteration was absolutely imperative during 18th century sexting, when an ear-piercing Hawk on a minibike is your best chance at exoneration, and how 4 1/2lbs of corned beef and several potatoes instantly becomes a single serving if not labeled properly. 

The guys discuss why insufficient adult relations can make for very stale sandwiches, when nailing down a toilet can save you approximately $6,000,000, and how orally inspecting orangutans can eliminate the need to change the locks. 

The guys discuss how surviving a barrel plunge does not make you impervious to the power of citrus, when a stereotypical look guarantees you a full climax at the end of the rainbow, and why it is always better to encounter a single shark than a pod of dolphins. 

The guys discuss why having multiple snacks straddle your lap is no longer an issue, how Damon will definitely injure his hands attending German operas, and what are the only two acceptable instances to acknowledge a “final notice” warning. 

The guys discuss what might possibly be the most disturbing way to “capture” a new roommate, when a perfectly arranged bedroom can guarantee foreign relations every night, and how the ending to every high speed chase in Germany may or may not result in a pant-less driver. 

The guys discuss why wearing two flashlights when jogging makes you more likely to be hit by a car, when an extra “I” can save you $13,000,000, and how a bronze penguin pecker doesn’t necessarily fit the decor of every room. 

The guys discuss why Italian vampires constantly over season their marinara, when five cents worth of banana will literally double your dessert profits, and how Persian Pizza is the only acceptable pre-war meal for the warrior not counting calories. 

The guys discuss why you should NEVER share a communion wafer with Damon, when achieving proper feng shui requires placing the TC directly in the crevice, and how easily badgers can fill up when devouring an impressive hog. 

The guys discuss how a renaissance man could knock a soldier off a horse at 100 yards without using an arrow, why a ménage a trios with a Sasquatch will cost you your alimony, and when a 6 year old “farmer” cancelled Valentine’s Day for the entire school. 

The guys discuss why you have to set your manager down to make eggs above Niagara Falls, when a sarcastically smiling moon only adds humor to an otherwise indescribable morning, and how there’s no copay for at home dentistry. 

The guys discuss how Polish anti-tank mines no longer come with directions, why even with Damon’s relentless questioning of the male anatomy he still cannot comprehend Bandaid wrappers, and when tranquilizing is NOT the worst thing you can do to an alligator.