Intelligent Intoxication

We can be sensitive to the needs of others without sacrificing our own health, well-being, and relationships.  “... being sensitive to the emotional needs of others is actually about understanding other people’s emotional needs but not necessarily doing something about them. It can hold space without taking it on as something to fix.  And, when we are really honest with ourselves about what belong...

“Dopamine is a neurotransmitter involved in the function of many areas of the body, such as digestion, sleep, learning and emotional health, including how one feels pleasure and reward… while other neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, also boost your mood , dopamine is a bit different because it's linked to reward and motivation. Essentially, you feel its release as you mark something off your li...

How do you really know if you’re a “good” person? First and foremost, please intentionally decide what your definition of “good” actually is. And, decide if you want to use the word.  I invite you to consider these questions: In order for other people to think that you’re a “good” person, what do you need to keep, start, or stop doing? In order for you to think that you’re a “good” person, what do...

“Other awareness” is one of the four pillars of emotional intelligence. When we are self-aware and know/understand why we do what we do, we naturally become more other-aware and cognizant of the people we encounter or are in relationship with in our lives.  If we lack other-awareness, we may unintentionally exclude others.  Often, we unintentionally exclude because we ourselves have been excluded...

We all fall into the habit of checking boxes in our professional and personal lives. “Boxes” are anything we feel obligated to do or be because we were conditioned to believe that by doing so, we would be right, successful, or happy.  In order to stop checking obligatory, arbitrary boxes in order to buy back time to intentionally create whole-hearted commitments, we must be willing to revisit ever...

There is a difference between creating consistency in regard to your habits, routines, or rituals versus being attached to having perfect habits, routines, and rituals that are unsustainable.  (Based on Christie Inge’s blog post: “The Energy of Human Design Gate 5”.) Christie Inge/Gate 5 Habits, routines, and rituals must be based on these three things: Intentions: the direction you’re headed and/...

In The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward, author Britt Frank offers four “challenges” to undertake in order to discern when you feel anxious in the presence of another person:   CHALLENGE #1: On one side of the paper list all of the stressful people with whom you spend time. On the other side of the paper write: “My real feelings about him/her/them are… “ Then wr...

In The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward, author Britt Frank likens anxiety to an “check-engine indicator light in a car”: “The light (anxiety) itself isn’t the problem - it’s a signal pointing you toward a problem. Trying to ‘get rid of’ anxiety is as counterproductive as trying to disable the check-engine light on your car.” She offers these bottom-line takeawa...

When you notice your mind chattering with Inner Critic fear, worries, what if’s, or worse case scenarios, try this: “I’m not available for anything that hasn’t actually happened.” Or, try this: “I’m not available for anything that isn’t happening right here, right now.” I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice your mind offering you worries, what if’s, or worse case scenarios?...

You don’t have to wait until you get older to: clarify what you want and need ask for what you want and need create what you want meet your own needs create boundaries communicate boundaries I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice meeting the wants and needs of others at your own expense? How willing are you to discern your real wants and needs? What might prevent you from com...

In this podcast and book, both entitled Anxiety Rx, Dr. Russell Kennedy offers a different perspective when it comes to managing what we refer to as “anxiety”.  Here are a few of the takeaways from Kennedy’s work that have profoundly impacted how I manage anxiety and take care of myself: Your mind gets fearful of the future and creates worries, what if’s, and worse scenarios. Your body may hold on...

Sometimes we’re stuck because we’ve outgrown a current circumstance or “container” like a: Place Relationship job/career Habit Mindset  I invite you to consider these questions: Are you currently growing and expanding professionally and personally? What is preventing you from growing or expanding? Which of your containers (places/jobs/relationships/beliefs/habits) have you outgrown? If you’re read...

“Bad habits repeat themselves again and again, not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change… you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. “ -James Clear, Atomic Habits “To get systems to work, remember the acronym SET-Small,Easy, Truthful.” -Brit Frank, The Getting Unstuck Workbook   The Science of Stuck: Breaking Thro...

“Be a curator of your life. Slowly cut things out until you’re left only with what you love, with what’s necessary, with what makes you happy.” Author unknown When we live a curated lifestyle, we intentionally live in a way that involves the purposeful selection of possessions, experiences, relationships, and people.  I invite you to consider these questions: Which of your possessions are no longe...

“... a strength is what you do that makes you feel strengthened… it’s what feels amazing when you do it… a weakness is the stuff you do that makes you feel weakened.” Daniell LaPorte (referencing Marcus Buckingham) Fire-Starter Sessions  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling strengthened? When do you notice feeling weakened? How willing are you to have your own back...

When we assign blame, we are saying that other people are responsible for how we feel. When we allow ownership, we get curious about why we decide to accept and tolerate certain behaviors in our relationships.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice trying to protect loved ones by blaming others who have hurt them? What might be different if you support your loved one in owni...

There is a difference between wanting, desiring, and creating something different in your life versus hustling, striving, and grasping for something more. Desiring and creating different comes from a place of abundance, sufficiency, and enoughness.  I invite you to consider these questions: Are you willing to love and accept where you are, what you’ve accomplished, and what you have exactly as it...

There’s a difference between staying busy because you’re filling your days with activities and being fulfilled because you’re making continuous personal and professional progress as you use your inherent gifts and talents to offer a meaningful contribution to others.  I invite you to consider these questions: Are you making continuous personal or professional progress? Have you identified your inh...

There is a huge difference between being “resigned” and intentionally “resigning.” When we’re resigned, it’s as if we’re unintentionally quitting, settling, or defaulting to stay stuck in an unpleasant circumstance, job, relationship, or pattern.  Contrast that to intentionally deciding to stop or leave what is no longer serving our growth, expansion, and well-being by offering a resignation.  I i...

We all have times when we seem to revert back to old “bad” habits - even when we’ve been doing a great job creating and maintaining new, “good” habits.    You’re likely returning to a habit that doesn’t serve your health, well-being, or relationships long-term because of the immediate although temporary benefits you get from the habit in the moment. In other words, our “bad” habits off us an escap...

When there is distance or disconnection in a relationship, we can say that a “rupture” has occurred. Ruptures are not problematic unless a repair or reconnection is not made in a timely fashion.  While it’s important to manage and repair relationship ruptures, the most important relationship in need of repair is the one you have with yourself.  I encourage you to identify and learn to manage the f...

We are at our best when we feel deeply energized because we are investing our time and energy into deeply meaningful connections, work, and projects.    Your body will let you know that you aren’t investing your time and energy in an aligned manner when you feel drained and depleted.    Being attached to what others think, feel, say or expect from you will prevent you from  being at your best.   ...

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.” Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts: STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can...

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.” Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts: STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can...

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.” Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts: STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can...