Two Assholes and a Mic

Send us Fan Mail In S2E18 , we talk through Robby redoing the Mustang shocks, helping with an oil change, and the never-ending debate between keeping things old-school or upgrading to coilovers. Ian recaps a packed beach day, a failed attempt at metal detecting, and a new tattoo idea involving Ultra Instinct Goku, Ultra Ego Vegeta, anime panels, and space-themed designs. We also get into LEGO side...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E17 , we get into Ian forgetting to charge his smoke setup, Robby dodging another day of work, and the questionable origins of drinking beer from a boot. From there, we debate breaded versus naked wings, talk beard maintenance in the heat, check in on Ian’s mailed package, and spend a healthy amount of time discussing Roxy, Slinky, dog farts, guard-dog behaviour, and why watc...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E16 , we get into Robby selling off some of his LEGO collection, Ian’s house purchase and plans to hammer down the mortgage, and whether a five-pound steak challenge is actually doable. Along the way, Kai drops into the conversation, we talk family life, hard water, housework, legal weed, Ian’s productive day at work, Robby’s never-ending Mustang repairs, and one fly that ref...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E15, we kick things off with Robby’s garage run-in with a rattlesnake and Slinky’s questionable attempt to claim the kill. From there, we get into gas prices and the proposed federal gas tax suspension, remember the freedom of riding bikes everywhere as kids, talk LEGO side hustles, APO shipping restrictions, and finish with an update on Ian’s house purchase—and Robby’s very...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we bounce from garage smoke, bong mishaps, and random weekend plans into a surprisingly real conversation about retirement, Social Security, taxes, and whether people should catch a break after working their whole lives. We also get into insurance headaches, hail damage, car plans, mystery construction next door, missed Wing Wednesday, future road trips, and the u...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E13 , we bring on Niko, aka Bean , and get into life after the military, work travel, living out in Georgia, raising ducks, and trying to balance a normal life with expensive car habits. We bounce through gas prices, EV frustration, Supras, GTR dreams, daily drivers, home projects, and the usual random turns into property, animals, retirement plans, and figuring out how much...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E12 , we bring on our friend and former coworker John Sweeney for a catch-up on life after the military. We get into retirement not going quite as planned, ending up back in management, running a gym, family plans, VA education benefits, moving after the kids are grown, and the usual random turns into chickens, goats, property taxes, drinking, and “time travel” stories. It’s...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E11 , we start off catching up while Robby is making the long drive from Texas to Oregon, talking trucks, tuners, dry lake beds, road fatigue, and the kind of random back-and-forth that comes naturally with us. Around the 10-minute mark, the audio has other plans, so the episode turns into a rougher, more one-sided ride than we intended. It’s a little glitchy, a little cut of...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E10 , we bounce from storm weather and tornado watches into dog drama, parking lot stupidity, eyebrow waxing, government surveillance, and the usual completely normal turns our conversations take. We get into Slinky escaping the gate, whether backing into a parking spot needs a blinker, random news and AI rabbit holes, dog breeds, and the kind of off-the-rails back-and-forth...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E9 , we bounce between storm season, tornado watches, flooded buildings, muddy dogs, and the kind of everyday chaos that somehow turns into a full conversation. We also get into work downtime, mower repairs, overgrown grass, Lego side hustles, whatnot selling, and the weird little routines that make up real life. It’s a laid-back episode full of random detours, backyard nonse...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E8 , we fight through a little technical chaos after part of the audio decides not to cooperate, but we still manage to cover a weirdly solid mix of topics. We get into spam calls, bank rates, random financial thoughts, weather, old memories, Lego builds, editing, backyard wildlife, scrap metal, and the usual side tangents that take on a life of their own. Even with the glitc...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E7 , we catch up on everything that’s changed over the last couple of years — retirement, moving, new jobs, side hustles, and the weird turns life has taken since the first run of the podcast. From there, we drift into house drama, Bush League updates, the legendary backyard phallus, suspicious headlines, insider trading talk, and a few conspiracy-leaning rabbit holes that ta...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E6 , we get into gas prices, oil drilling, and the kind of everyday stuff that makes you wonder why everything has to cost so damn much. We also talk through a possible update on the house situation, react to the UK’s tobacco crackdown, and somehow end up bouncing into Lego, burgers, English food, and the usual random side roads along the way. It’s another episode full of rea...

Send us Fan Mail In S2E5 , we bounce between everyday chaos and current events as we talk about journaling, runaway dogs, work frustrations, suspicious headlines, retirement age debates, and the random stuff that always seems to find its way into the conversation. We also get into burgers, wings, mustache maintenance, and the kind of side tangents that somehow make perfect sense for us. It’s anoth...

Send us Fan Mail  In S2E4 , we dive into a brutally frustrating house-buying setback after a seller pulls out late in the process hoping for more money. From there, the conversation shifts into everything from long commutes and daily routines to current headlines, conspiracy-adjacent questions, cancer research, ancient dental work, and the growing importance of Robby’s now-legendary notepad. It’s...

Send us Fan Mail S2E3 is another laid-back, off-the-rails conversation as we bounce through babysitting chaos, dogs being dogs, podcast plans, metal detecting finds, work frustrations, random weather talk, Lego obsession, and an unexpected debate about Fight Club . It’s the usual mix of sarcasm, stories, and completely unplanned tangents that somehow all work together.  Support the show

Send us Fan Mail Season 2 is here. After nearly two years away, Two Assholes in a Mic is back and finding its groove again. We return with the same off-the-rails chemistry, but with a slightly new direction — more current events, more live content, possible guest appearances, and the same random tangents that made the show what it is. Same same, but different.  Support the show

Send us Fan Mail S2E2: Purgatory starts with the idea that life can feel like some kind of punishment zone, then spirals into the kind of conversation that makes the title make even more sense — work frustrations, aging, dogs, random everyday annoyances, Lego cities, weird memories, and thoughts about time travel and déjà vu. It’s unfiltered, funny, and relatable in the way real conversations usua...