A Day at a Time Reflections

I am free to be, to do, to accept, to reject. I am free to be the wise, loving, kind, and patient person I want to be. I'm free to do that which I consider wise — that which will in no way harm or hinder another person. I'm free to do that which will lead me into paths of peace and satisfaction. I'm free to decide for or against, to say no and to say yes. I'm free to live life in a productive way...

STEP 7 Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. Now you're being asked to seek, to remove, via your Higher Power, your character defects. Is this really necessary? It certainly is! Character defects were a major portion of the reason one gambled. Therefore, keeping these defects can lead one back to gambling. For example, let's take one defect - anger. Assume you get int...

It's time for me to become willing to do what it takes to recover my personal responsibility, even if that means giving over the financial reins to another. Just as there are paradoxes in the Steps admitting my life's unmanageability in order that it become manageable again, surrendering to a Higher Power in order to become liberated - there will be other paradoxes in my recovery. Allowing a trust...

Change is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we're frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we're resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us. We must remember that change, in and of itself, neither binds us nor frees us. Only our attitude toward change binds or frees. As we learn to flow with the stream of life, praying for guidance about any change that...

During our days of active addiction, many of us displayed almost dazzlingly fertile powers of imagination. In no time at all, we could dream up more reasons or excuses for pursuing our addiction than most people use for all other purposes in their entire lives. When we first come to Gamblers Anonymous, our once-imaginative minds seem to become lethargic and even numb. "Now what do I do?" many of u...

Fear may have originally brought some of us to Gamblers Anonymous. In the beginning, fear alone may help some of us stay away from the game and that insidious about-to-be-lucky feeling (even when we knew that gambling always turned against us in the end). But a fearful state is hardly conducive to comfort and happiness - not for long. We have to find alternatives to fear to get us through those fi...

I've learned in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that the trick, for me, is not stopping gambling, but staying stopped and learning how not to start again. God knows, I tried to stop plenty of times, by lecturing myself on how it was affecting not only my life, but all aspects of my behavior. Gambling was actually changing who I seemed to be. To stay stopped, I've had to develop a positive, ongoing...

Once we surrendered and came to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, many of us wondered what we would do with all that time on our hands. All the hours we'd previously spent planning, hiding, alibiing, losing our shirts, borrowing, juggling accounts and all the rest-threatened to turn into empty chunks of time that somehow had to be filled. We needed new ways to use the energy previously absorbed by o...

Almost daily, I hear of seemingly mysterious coincidences in the lives of my friends in Gamblers Anonymous. From time to time, I've experienced such "coincidences" myself: showing up at the right place at exactly the right time; phoning a friend who, unbeknownst to me, desperately needed that particular phone call at that precise moment; hearing "my story" at an unfamiliar meeting in a strange tow...

Little by little, I'm getting over my tendency to procrastinate. I always used to put things off till tomorrow, and, of course, they never got done. Instead of "Do it now," my motto was "Tomorrow's another day." When I was in action, I had grandiose plans; when I came down from my high, I was too busy getting over my depression to start anything. I've learned in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that...

How many of us would presume to announce, "Well, I'm on my way to way licking the gambling habit. What more can I want, or do? I'm fine just the I am." Experience has taught us that the price of such smug complacency - or, more politely, self-satisfaction - is an inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude awakening. We have to grow, or else we deteriorate. For us, the status q...

If ever I come to the complacent conclusion that I don't need the Gamblers Anonymous Program any longer, let me quickly remind myself that it can do far more than carry me through the anguish of living in the bondage of addiction. Let me further remind myself that I can make even greater strides in fulfilling myself, for the Program and the Twelve Steps is a philosophy — a way of life. Will I ever...

The primary purpose of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is freedom from compulsive gambling; without that freedom we have nothing. But that doesn't mean I can say, for example, "Compulsive gambling is my only concern. Except for that, I'm really a super person, so give me freedom from gambling, and I've got it made." If I delude myself with such specious nonsense, I'll make so little progress with m...

Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means being sure we're right - taking it for granted that we couldn't possibly be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify qualities in ourselves that we'd find wholly intolerable in other...

The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we've done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. We have to remember that we're not the only on...

"Direct" is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoings of the past. It shows that we're still trying to defend something tha...

When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate "absolute honesty" would blow the roof off many a house and entirely destroy some relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back through discretion and consideration for others. Just when and how we tell the truth-or keep silent-can often...

The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that only one consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the damage we've done. And that's where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we're making amends - or, just as important, others close to that person. We can hardly unload a detailed account of extramarital misadventures, for example, on the shoulders of an unsus...

I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be with. I also have a right to become willing - deeply willing, entirely willing to make amends to all those I've harmed. Because I can now accept myself the way I am, I can accept other people the way they a...

Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, can do wonders to make up for past unkindnesses. If I've deprived anyone of any material thing, I'll...

The Ninth Step of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." To make restitution for the wrongs we've done can be extremely difficult, to say the least; if nothing else, it deflates our egos and batters our pride. Yet that in itself is a reward, and such restitution can bring still greater rewards. Whe...

Learning how to live in peace and partnership with all men and women-is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in Gamblers Anonymous has found that we're not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreck age we've left in our wake. Have I made a list of persons I have harmed,...

Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth - value of honesty and candor. When this happens, one of the first things we're able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission - without shame or embarrassment - we find still another dimension of...

I don't believe that the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and because I know that I, too, am recovering. No longer do I believe that I am "helpless and hopeless." When I see the change in other people and in myself, I know that the Program works. When a televis...

Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. During the early days in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as the Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive m...