From Harm to Healing

Chris recently sat down with Trish Haight to discuss her work and to illuminate what the journey of healing can look like for the betrayed partner and the injured relationship. Today's episode is the first half of that conversation. Trish is a DST therapist that co-facilitates the DST training program with Dr. Omar Minwalla and was a key part of the model's development. You can find out more about...

In this episode, Chris introduces 2 more DST frameworks — the three plates (the person who built the basement, the betrayed partner, and the injured relationship) and the five stages of treatment (assessment, stabilization, metabolization, reconstruction, expansion) — a helpful way of considering what progress and recovery might look like on this journey, and what some of the important clinical ta...

Chris recently sat down with Dr. Omar Minwalla to have some in-depth conversations about different aspects of his DST model. Today's episode is the third excerpt from those conversations where they dive deeper into the topic of integration and why it's such an important part of treatment for infidelity and compulsive sexual behaviour.

Chris recently sat down with Dr. Omar Minwalla to have some in-depth conversations about different aspects of his DST model. Today's episode is the second excerpt from those conversations where they dive deeper into the topic of intimacy and why it's such an important part of treatment for infidelity and compulsive sexual behaviour.

Chris recently sat down with Dr. Omar Minwalla to have some in-depth conversations about different aspects of his DST model. Today's episode is an excerpt from those conversations where they dive deeper into the topic of integrity and why it's such a crucial missing piece from so many treatment approaches for infidelity and compulsive sexual behaviour.

In this episode, Chris introduces the idea of “The Triadic Core” — sexuality, gender, and the physical body — as the most sensitive parts of the human psyche. We explore how sexual betrayal uniquely harms each area, why these wounds run so deep, and how understanding them can foster greater empathy for betrayed partners.

In this episode, Chris explores how subtle, repeated patterns of harm might gradually shape a betrayed partner’s emotional and psychological world. Using the “drops of water on a rock” metaphor, he explains how complex trauma impacts areas like trust, self-worth, and meaning — often without clear signs of abuse.

In this episode, Chris explores how partners impacted by deceptive sexuality often engage in safety-seeking behaviours and how these behaviours are often misunderstood, leading to pathologizing or the partners and victim blaming.

In this episode, Chris explores how the discovery of a secret sexual reality within a relationship can lead to acute trauma. Using the clinical framework of PTSD, he begins unpacking the psychological and physiological responses partners often experience—including triggers, re-experiencing, avoidance, mood changes, and nervous system arousal.

In this episode, Chris starts to explore the "T" in DST – the trauma caused by deceptive sexuality. In particular, he considers the importance of understanding both the acute impact of discovery and the long-term effects of deception and manipulation.

In this episode, Chris explores why the DST model identifies deceptive sexuality as an abusive system, by unpacking how patterns of deception and manipulation—used to hide a secret sexual reality—create covert control and a power imbalance in the relationship.

In this episode, Chris introduces the concept of "Integrity-Abuse Disorder" (IAD) — the second behavioural system identified in the DST model. Whilst "Compulsive Entitled Sexuality" (CES) explains the actions inside the secret sexual basement, IAD explores the deceptive behaviours used to keep it hidden.

In this episode, Chris explores the first part of the DST model’s two-part problem: the sexual or relational behaviours that take place inside the secret sexual basement. Chris introduces the concept of Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES), a hybrid framework that broadens the traditional focus on sex addiction by including both compulsive behaviours and underlying entitlement.

In this first episode, therapist Chris Jones introduces the core concepts of the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model, breaking down the idea of a "deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual-relational reality" (DCSR) and explains the foundational metaphor of the "secret sexual basement."