From Harm to Healing

In this episode, Chris explores the difference between proactivity and reactivity in recovery, and why meaningful change ultimately requires more than simply responding when prompted, challenged, or held accountable. Drawing on his work with the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model, Chris considers what it means to take genuine ownership of the recovery journey—from engaging intentionally with t...

In this episode, Chris is joined by DST therapist Michelle Edsall for a thought-provoking conversation on objectification through the lens of the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model. Together they explore how objectification extends beyond sexualisation into the broader experience of collapsed recognition—where a person's humanity, agency, and inner world are no longer truly seen. They discuss...

In this episode, Chris is joined by Canadian therapist and Certified DST Therapist Natalie Cournoyea. Together they explore the concept of treatment-induced trauma (Room 22 of the 22 Rooms model) and discuss how well-intentioned therapy, group work, and recovery frameworks can sometimes create additional harm for betrayed partners. Drawing on their experience working with both betrayed partners an...

In the final part of this conversation, Chris and Trish explore the challenges and possibilities of healing within the injured relationship. Together they discuss attachment injuries, persistent negative relational patterns, emotional granularity, and the difference between surface-level behavioural change and deeper transformation. They also explore how honesty, vulnerability, and attending can c...

Content note: This episode contains a particularly raw and emotionally intense exploration of deceptive sexuality and its traumatic impact. For betrayed partners in particular, some of the imagery, sounds, and descriptions may evoke strong feelings or trauma responses. Please consider whether this is the right time for you to listen, and feel free to pause or step away if needed. In this episode,...

In this episode, Chris is once again joined by DST therapist Trish Haight to continue their exploration of the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model. Together they discuss Intentional Vibe Trauma Theory and Treatment, exploring the importance of therapeutic presence, humility, deep listening, and creating the conditions for healing. They also explore the metaphor of the "dark cave of unlit truths...

In this episode, Chris is joined by UK-based sex and relationship therapist and Certified DST Therapist Rhian Kivits. Together they explore the often-overlooked experiences of betrayed partners navigating the traumatic impact of deceptive sexuality. Drawing on her background in relationship therapy, narcissistic abuse work, and the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model, Rhian explores why traditi...

In this episode, Chris is joined by Duane Osterlind for a conversation exploring the role of shame in the healing process. Together, they examine how shame can quietly disrupt progress—particularly in men who are genuinely trying to repair after betrayal—often blocking empathy, emotional connection, and meaningful change. They also explore the concept of shame resilience, the patterns that emerge...

In this episode, Chris continues exploring “The 22 Rooms.” Following the covert phase and the exposure phase covered in earlier episodes, this third part focuses on the symptom progression phase - how the impact of the trauma develops over time. He explores the deep triadic core symptoms that might develop, the relational patterns that often emerge, and the longer-term psychological impacts of reb...

In this episode, Chris continues exploring “The 22 Rooms.” Part one focused on the covert phase of deceptive sexuality. In this second part, he turns to the exposure phase - when the hidden reality of the secret sexual basement is either discovered or disclosed. He examines the acute reality fragmentation that can occur at this stage, along with the associated attachment injury, before exploring t...

In this episode, Chris beings exploring “The 22 Rooms” — a key clinical framework within the DST model. Whilst the rooms have been mentioned on various occasions, this marks the first in a series of episodes dedicated to exploring the framework in more depth. The first instalment begins by explaining the core metaphor of the rooms and then examines the first three, which represent the covert phase...

This is the second part of the conversation Chris recently had with Trish Haight to discuss the DST model, objectification to humanisation, and the difference between surface-level change and deeper transformation. Trish is a DST therapist who co-facilitates the DST training programme with Dr Omar Minwalla and played a key role in developing the model. Find out more: Website: https://trishhaight.c...

Chris recently sat down with Trish Haight for a second time to discuss the DST model, focusing on the shift from objectification to humanisation of self and others. They also examine the difference between surface-level change and deeper transformation. This episode features the first half of that conversation. Trish is a DST therapist who co-facilitates the DST training programme with Dr Omar Min...

In this episode, Chris explores the topic of internal vs external motivation and it's importance when we consider approaching any kind of therapeutic work. In particular, he considers what the research has to say about client outcomes, and also the negative outcomes that might occur if somebody is approaching their recovery journey from a place of purely external motivation.

In this episode, Chris continues to explore attending work, this time focussing on the bigger picture of how healing can actually happen when there is a abuse, victim, trauma story that needs to be told.

In this episode, Chris continues exploring the topic of authenticity and it's importance to the task of attending to deceptive sexuality trauma. He also explores some of his own therapeutic journey and how it contributed to these ideas of attending vs fixing, or conditions over techniques as taught within the DST model.

In this episode, Chris continues exploring the topic of the voice. In particular, he explores the idea of authentic reality, and how accuracy and truth in recovery aren't enough by themselves - there also needs to be a growing expression of authenticity about the self. He concludes by sharing an introduction that's often used in the From Harm to Healing groups to highlight the central pillars of s...

Chris recently sat down for another conversation with Dr. Omar Minwalla to explore the topic of the human voice, based on Dr. Minwalla's recent whitepaper. In this episode, he specifically breaks down the top five reasons that the human voice is the key clinical instrument when healing from - or treating - deceptive sexuality and deceptive sexuality trauma.

Chris recently sat down for another conversation with Dr. Omar Minwalla to explore the topic of attending work - how the person that maintained the secret sexual basement can learn to attend well to it's traumatic repercussions for the betrayed partner and the injured relationship . Today's episode is the second part of that discussion.

Chris recently sat down for another conversation with Dr. Omar Minwalla to explore the topic of attending work - how the person that maintained the secret sexual basement can learn to attend well to it's traumatic repercussions for the betrayed partner and the injured relationship . Today's episode is the first part of that discussion.

In this episode, Chris explores the purpose and process of full therapeutic disclosure, explaining how disclosure is not simply an exchange of facts, but a critical act of restorative justice—designed to redress the power imbalance created by secrecy and deception.

In this episode, Chris explores how power and control shape both the harm caused by deceptive sexuality and the recovery process that follows. He also introduces the concept of restorative justice—a key pillar of the DST model—and contrasts it with a retributive, punishment-based mindset.

Chris recently sat down for another conversation with Dr. Omar Minwalla to delve deeper into the topic of healthy masculinity, and how it relates to "The Three I's" of integrity, intimacy, and integration. Today's episode is the second part of that discussion.

Chris recently sat down for another conversation with Dr. Omar Minwalla to delve deeper into the topic of healthy masculinity, and how it relates to "The Three I's" of integrity, intimacy, and integration. Today's episode is the first part of that discussion.

This is the second half of the conversation Chris recently had with Trish Haight to discuss her work and to illuminate what the journey of healing can look like for the betrayed partner and the injured relationship. Trish is a DST therapist that co-facilitates the DST training program with Dr. Omar Minwalla and was a key part of the models development. You can find out more about Trish by visiting...