WHEN DATING HURTS

Every survivor story comes with reasons to listen carefully and learn the many facets of dating and domestic violence. This story is certainly no exception. For those of you thinking domestic violence doesn’t happen to people like you, Jamie’s narrative stands as evidence to the contrary. She was a college graduate. A law school graduate. And then a prosecutor in a district attorney’s office near...

I met "Caitlyn" in November 2009 moments before I gave a speech about my daughter's dating violence murder.  What Caitlyn described about her abuse was the most horrific story I had ever heard -- short of murder. It continues to disturb me even now.  I was fortunate to conduct this interview with Caitlyn. Her story shows how bad domestic violence can get, but also demonstrates how strong a determi...

This the final part in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behav...

This is part two in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior...

This is part one in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior...

This is Lee Ann’s story part two of two parts. Our interview with Lee Ann, who lives in Florida, covers a lot of dating and domestic violence topics. You’ll hear about love bombing, overt narcissism, emotional and physical violence, and the rise and fall of a fortune made and lost. There is coercive control, deception, even degradation. You will also hear of the deaths of two ex-husbands. It’s all...

This is Lee Ann’s story part one of two parts. Our interview with Lee Ann, who lives in Florida, covers a lot of dating and domestic violence topics. You’ll hear about love bombing, overt narcissism, emotional and physical violence, and the rise and fall of a fortune made and lost. There is coercive control, deception, even degradation. You will also hear of the deaths of two ex-husbands. It’s all...

This time, I'm the one being interviewed.  This conversation tells the whole story about how the WHEN DATING HURTS book and podcast came about--the hard way. It's good to know our podcast has the opportunity to be talked about before a whole-new group of listeners. This is one of the surest ways to grow our listening audience. If you do not know my family's story, this is a good opportunity. Thank...

This episode comes with content and trigger warnings: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, and graphic violence. The voice you hear on this WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode was created by artificial intelligence. It is not a real person's voice. The words spoken are a composite of beliefs and concepts expressed by dating and domestic abusers found within articles and interviews. They have been coll...

This is part two in a two-part story.   At 16-years of age, Marie and a few high school friends went to a local university to hang out at some social events. That’s where she met Jake. Jake was a 21-year-old college student with aspirations of playing football. But injuries took that dream away from him. Instead, he used opioids and other means to deal with pain. In truth, he was addicted but said...

This is part one in a two-part story. At 16-years of age, Marie and a few high school friends went to a local university to hang out at some social events. That’s where she met Jake. Jake was a 21-year-old college student with aspirations of playing football. But injuries took that dream away from him. Instead, he used opioids and other means to deal with pain. In truth, he was addicted but said h...

This is the second in a two-part story with Erin. Erin was taken advantage of while she was suffering through a highly sensitive passage in her life. Charlie presented himself as the right answer at the right time. Like many victims, she was an innocent, generous person. The kind of target predators are looking to lure straight into problematic relationships. The warning signs of potential danger...

This is the first in a two-part story with Erin.  Erin was taken advantage of while she was suffering through a highly sensitive passage in her life. Charlie presented himself as the right answer at the right time.  Like many victims, she was an innocent, generous person. The kind of target predators are looking to lure straight into problematic relationships.  The warning signs of potential dange...

This is part one of two parts with Amanda.   This interview comes with all the trigger warnings. Amanda lives in Australia, but her story could have taken place anywhere in the world. The treatment Amanda and her twin sister (named J.J.) received as babies continued into their teen years. It is shocking, disturbing, inhumane, and, frankly, impossible to comprehend. But it is true, nonetheless. Thi...

This is part one of two parts with Amanda. This interview comes with all the trigger warnings. Amanda lives in Australia, but her story could have taken place anywhere in the world. The treatment Amanda and her twin sister (named J.J.) received as babies continued into their teen years. It is shocking, disturbing, inhumane, and, frankly, impossible to comprehend. But it is true, nonetheless.  This...

This is part three of three parts with Sabrina.   She met him in her freshman year of college. He was a senior. Was it love at first sight Maybe for her. Not for him. Jake had other ideas. This story is meant for parents with daughters in, or soon entering, college. It should be a time when they begin to take off in life and learn to find their way. But it be a time when they display their innocen...

This is part two of three parts with Sabrina.   She met him in her freshman year of college. He was a senior. Was it love at first sight? Maybe for her. Not for him. Jake had other ideas. This story is meant for parents with daughters in, or soon entering, college. It should be a time when they begin to take off in life and learn to find their way. But it be a time when they display their innocenc...

This is part one of three parts with Sabrina. She met him in her freshman year of college. He was a senior. Was it love at first sight? Maybe for her. Not for him. Jake had other ideas.  This story is meant for parents with daughters in, or soon entering, college. It should be a time when they begin to take off in life and learn to find their way. But it be a time when they display their innocence...

Serena offers to speak about the financial "bottomless pit" she was put in. We cover financial abuse in this episode. It's a subject that never gets enough airtime. Imagine, the one person her ex-husband took most advantage of? His own wife!  It was financial abuse to the max. She says: “I have not told my full story (other than to the police, federal investigators, divorce attorneys, and forensic...

I get a lot of questions via email, Facebook, Instagram, and before and after speeches. I felt it a good idea to answer them for you in this episode. Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN...

I read Janine Latus's 336-page book, "If I Am Missing or Dead", years ago. I finished it in two days. It was that compelling a read. I reached out to her many times since then, and she has always answered me. She is so special. Janine has been called "...the most compelling speaker on sexual assault and relationship abuse I've ever heard." I believe that is spot on.  Why is that? She knows it beca...

Blair wrote me and said, “The more I listen to your podcast the more I feel compelled to share.” Blair grew up, in her words, “Surrounded and molded by the dysfunction of my parents' volatile dynamic.” She describes that time in her life, and you will feel it. Later, she suffered dating abuse only days after graduating high school. She details what it was like and how it felt. Like most victims, s...

"Sara" is a domestic violence survivor. She is also my cousin. Sara appeared to be in a perfect marriage. A nice home and three healthy boys. But her ex-husband eventually devolved into a serial abuser. She did all she could to coerce him into getting help, but nothing seemed to work. When living with this man became dangerous, she needed to break free.  Listen to a narrative of patience and coura...

On June 3, 2005, Detective Jim McGowan contacted me with knowledge about what happened to my daughter. Earlier that day, he interviewed Kristin's murderer, her ex-boyfriend, Nick. From that time until now, Nick has remained incarcerated.  Over the years, I've gained invaluable insights from Jim on why abusers do what they do and why abused women stay in dangerous relationships. Jim shares this and...

Sheri Kurdakul is a domestic abuse survivor. There is nothing typical about the abuse she suffered. Like many survivors of abuse, her story is challenging to listen to, but there is much to be learned from her. Most survivors I've met tell of frequent times they were on the receiving end of despicable abuse. But they also speak about the inventive ways they endured and eventually overcame those ci...